TubularTittyFrog @ TubularTittyFrog @lemmy.world

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414

Joined

1 yr. ago

like your mom?

Some of us think and agonize too much in an unhealthy way and definitely need ways to shut it down.

just blame your parents like the rest of us.

the more polite way of telling someone off than insults and slurs.

therapy is anything you want it to be. there are 100s of styles, varieties, and etc.

men doing shit is them dealing with their feelings. it's not distraction.

men are not women. talk therapy doesn't work for them

the disconnection is that they are spending money on trains, not on therapists.

because men are bad, and women are good.

and the only way for men to get good is to spend $1000s of dollars talking to therapists, who are predominantly women.

or maybe... the apparatus of therapy is woman-biased and therefore it negates and legitimatizes men's emotions and their expression. and the positive things men do in the world with their emotions must be shame and ridicule because they should submit to our belief that talk-therapy is the only legitimate form of emotional outlet...

getting beyond ape-brain requires a lot of learning and practice. like any skill.

agender

guess this is what i will tell people to call me now. because i don't give a shit that i have a penis.

100% agree with you. but sadly humanism doesn't incite people to team-based violence, so it's very going to be very popular. human beings very much prefer tribal thinking to global thinking.

what if i feel like my gender identity is irrelevant?

other people care a lot more about my gender and sex than i do. i can tell you that.

speak for yourself. not my experience of many trans folk at all. many of them are actively hostile. and some of them are just straight up fucking mean people. and i've also seen trans folks who were chill... become radicalized and whom i used to hang out with and liked... and then all the sudden i'm the 'enemy'.

it's almost like trans folks are people and subject to the same errors in thinking and hateful nonsense as anyone else.

lol dude, have you heard of the middle east?

plenty of people get killed for cisgender love there.

combine it with race to see an even starker picture. black women's medical outcomes are insanely worse than other races and genders.

that's because of purists and nutjobs any disagreement whatsoever is hostile to them. the notion of civil disagreement, or just polite disagreement is met with violence, because tehy are passive aggressive nut jobs. they don't want you to be an ally, they dont' want to work with you to improve things, they want to you submit to their crazy.

just like if you go into your in laws, they ask you for a cup of tea, and you know they serve shitty tea, so you decline it politely, and they go 'oh so what is our tea not good enough for you?'

not understanding your point is the point. you are not human. you are the evil majority who can't ever experience bad things... and if you do... you deserve it.

the irony of so many oppressed people is that they dont' want freedom from oppression, they want to oppress. they want revenge not harmony.

and no better way to tell it when you express yourself politely and they ATTACK you for doing so and are unable to admit that trans folks can also be oppressors of each other and other people. oppression doesn't make you a saint.

amen.

i keep trying to be on the side of these people, but they keep telling me i'm a shit person because of my skin color, my gentials, my education, etc. and ironically.. most of these people are WAY more privileged than will ever be. I'm so sick of trans/feminist peopel telling me off that i'm a POS who got all the advantages in life... while they often got free-rides on the life train due to parental wealth and exploiting other people where as i had to struggle to get into college and pay off my debts and didn't get a tsate of this so called of 'privileged' until iwas well into my 30s. all the while being constantly harassed for not being a 'real man' and also 'being a man'. all i ever wanted was to be left alone to do my own thing... but no. the second i want ot empathize about being beating for my non-gender conformity, i'm told to STFU and that I'm 'stealing' or whatever, because apparently my expereince of my gendered life and gender violence doesn't exist or is all lies and falsehoods because i'm not trans, or a woman. and oh by the way, if it did really happen... i clearly deserved it because of the debt i own gender minorities or something.

like... ok i won't be on your side anymore then. i'll just leave you to your own bitterness and focus on folks who treat me well who aren't pathologically violent against anyone who is different than them and who take offense at every perceived slight.

no, but i have seen people asked to give up their position so a 'more worthy' trans person could take their place... mostly for the 'optics' of being 'diverse'. most often old white men, because they are 'bad' and trans people are 'good'.

a lot in community groups in social/leftist leanings. the obsession with trans tokenism about rich white liberals is def a thing, esp when you can request a old white man and replace them with a young trans person so that your org/group is 'with it'. i've seen this happen multiple times.

and in a few instance sadly, the person who replaced was great and knowledgeable, and the trans person who replaced them was an unhinged jerk who ended up quitting or being asked to leave after introducing an inordinate amount of drama into the group.

if used descriptively it's not a slur.

if used to harass, intimidate, and demean, it's a slur.

plenty of people get harassed, abused, and threatened for being cisgendered. you're a nut if you think being trans has some sort exclusivity on gender violence. both cis men and women have been threatened and labeled as threats due to their gendered conformity. being in a minority doesn't mean you get a monopoly on being treated like shit.

and when you hang out around trans communities, they very much do actively use the term as a slur, even against each other.