except coke. buying coke kills lots of people. Just being a small part of the market means your part of the problem. unpopular opinion i know, but it's much worse than people think. some of my best friends hate me a little bit for having this opinion but it's true.
I still played gt6 on ps3 until I moved out of my last place and turfed my old treadmill. Wish I could run it properly on my pc. Oh wait, I probably can. Why they'd make a movie about a car simulation game I don't know, but I'm interested to know how dumb the movie is.
I was in that place when I asked my gp for a referral and by the time I'd heard back my adhd had settled down a lot, to the point where I wasn't in such need of treatment. Knowing if it does flare up again I can see someone quickly is also very reassuring. I'd check landsharkkidd's option first though, saving 1200 dolareedoos...
I'm at some stage this year going to look at coping mechanisms. Also definitely going to look at going to that SE clinic mentioned above, as I might also be on the autism spectrum but 2 grand is not really something I want to fork out when neither of my potential neurodivergences are really getting in the way of living a good life at the moment and I'm dealing with being in the early stages of transition and that definitely has had impact on mental health in unexpected ways.
Thanks Seagoon, once again, someone in aa gave me an answer to potentially rid myself of resentments of things I can't change the outcomes of because they've already fucking happened. and that's kind of the point. Today is good.
Quitting vapes has been easier than I thought. God what a fucking waste of money. GP bulk billed my telephone appt. Amazing weather. Cats are happy. Friends have been in touch, they're both related to my old workplace so I do have some nice memories and reflections of it finally. I still have daily violent fantasies of kneecapping or bashing the brains in of the person there who sexually assaulted and harassed me and also undermined my work but I think that's part of the healing process. I hope I don't see him though. I'm a pacifist and he can probably fight, but it might be ugly.
Work was good, took my colleague for some driving practise before their license test tomorrow. She's another trans woman and working with and chatting with her has been fantastic. I'm not saying cis people are an issue to work with as my boss and other colleagues are also wonderful, but talking to someone who gets almost every bit of what I'm experiencing because they're experiencing too is really nice. She's also not at all the stereotypical trans woman either so we can also bitch about the gatekeepers and the lack of a real trans "tribe".
Another kinda busy night of aa and such and some food, then bed before 9. Fuck it's nice to feel like I'm in control of my future and my plans keep coming up milhouse.
Venting is part of therapy. I appreciated it. We are somewhat acquaintances and somewhat strangers which is quite similar to the therapist / patient relationship.
I overshare here and while its a journal it's also because the people close to me have not been good to share with for the most part. They're supportive, but most of them think I should have sucked it up and moved on by now. That's not how dealing with trauma works. Not how the journey of being transgender works. Not how trying to come to terms with having neurodivergences works. Not how being in addiction recovery works. This stuff takes years and we all need people in our lives who have patience to hear us talk about things a lot over and over again. You're welcome to vent and share as much as you feel like in my dms hun. I'm a good ear and I've been to dark places a lot in the past as well. Lots and lots of love.
This is going to be my last vape. Vaping is a hangover from my last bender, which lasted about 5 weeks. Easier to quit booze than nicotine, the craving for booze comes after the first drink but doesn't persist after I stop for long at all. Nicotine however is a different story. I have those lozenges to defeat the cravings and a plan to wean myself off them over a couple of weeks if I need to. 50 days sober today, so the end of vaping is how I'll celebrate this milestone.
Only walked 4ks at work, so need to do another 6 today and luckily the weather is pretty perfect for it.
"Feel the fear and do it anyway" I think that is in some movie but it's what I tell myself.
One thing I've learned from transitioning is that as self concious as we are, most people are too busy with their own stuff and thoughts to even notice I'm wearing a wig and less then average make-up or indeed read my pronoun badge. It's fun when I'm definitely passing and someone apologises for assuming I'm female when they hear my voice. It's a bag of emotional stuff I carry around and there's fear associated with it, but I can't actually fail at being trans as much as other trans people try and make me feel like I am at times. I'd think I'd like to be able to pass effortlessly sometimes, but most of the time, I just make sure I'm being authentic to myself. What other people think of me is not really any of my business anyway.
Everything takes practise and we should aim for progress not perfection.
Hongohones @ RosaliePreistley @aussie.zone Posts 1Comments 520Joined 2 yr. ago
except coke. buying coke kills lots of people. Just being a small part of the market means your part of the problem. unpopular opinion i know, but it's much worse than people think. some of my best friends hate me a little bit for having this opinion but it's true.