For sure, any words coming from hate will be hurtful.
As far as the effectiveness of the taking it back system, 🤷🏻♂️ Not my place to have an opinion on that. If the affected people want to do that, I support them. If they don't agree, I support that too.
I think there are two conflicting strategies at play here.
First is common decency. You just don't say things that might offend people. All in all, a great strategy for everyday use.
But there's also when a group "takes back" their slurs and starts using them in a friendly way. They are essentially taking power away from those words. Maliciously calling someone a particular slur doesn't hurt so much when they call each other that every day. It's a good technique to disarm those who hate you.
But, then you have group A trying not to say these words and group B trying to "flood the market and reduce it's value" it creates a line of division. YOU can't say this word, but WE will, because we're trying to popularize and neuter it.
Neither is doing anything wrong, it's just two groups with the same goal, (no more hurtful slurs) but they are pushing against each other.
The answer to this is the same as the answer to most social situations: It depends.
Do you drink now? If not, a first date is probably not the best time to try it out for the first time. If you do drink, but tend to overdo it, pay mind to keep it under control.
Does your date drink? If not, they may not feel comfortable in a bar or other alcohol-centric location.
Do what works for both of you, not what other people enjoy. Choose a location or activity that matches your interests! And, if you suggest something that aligns with what you know about your date, you're going to score bonus points! If they are outdoorsy, suggest a hike. They like craft beer, suggest a brewery. If they are a gamer, maybe a board game lounge. Anything can be a great first date as long as you both enjoy your time together!
Well played