OhVenus_Baby @ OhVenus_Baby @lemmy.ml

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2 yr. ago

I'm not even sure it was helping as much as it was riding her ass to get shit done. Like banking stuff or typical life things.

So they haven't talked since yesterday basically she messaged him today but it was about an errand and be didn't respond.

He thinks it's best to fall silent and wait it out maybe for a week or a month I guess time is arbitrary. Basically until she comes back to him with something of substance and is at a place where they can talk it out. I'm sure they could talk it out if he initiated but it wouldn't be as fruitful and allow her time to think on the situation as a whole. Do you think the silent approach is good or? If he tries to initiate a deep conversation she sort of rejects it like ughh sigh type vibe.

Edit: Second question. How do you deal with someone completely glossing over important questions as if they don't exist? And carries in with some random topic.

His response was if he could be poly with her he thinks it would work out where his sex drive being high and hers really low that he could get his needs filled and she's very quiet and shy that he needs more social interaction the scale could balance out and they can still have love and enjoy one another when they both want to on each their own time. They are monogamous. She would definitely have an issue with that.

As far as the toxic aspect he said he does think it's sort of toxic to want her to change but he feels her being so severely dreoessed and anxious it's for the better. Not to turn her into someone else but to re-ignite her life and enjoyment again. He wants to be less harsh about it on a day to day basis but told me she won't do anything if he doesn't stay on about it until it's done. To me that seems uhh understanding and also messed up like she needs to learn adulting for herself. I hadn't previously had that info that he was sort of always pushing her daily. He had just told me he could ask a a question or a few and she wouldn't even respond as if she thought about it but from his view it didn't exist. Kind of wild to think about from my view.

Personally I don't think she will change. He wants to fall back cease contact as much a possible for a week or a month and just give her space to see what comes of it all.

Its always been sort of like this even as a teen but after college friends kind of parted ways and everyone's lives took off that it's really only them her hobbies got left behind and all the work realization of a lifetime of 40 hour week dynamic just crashed her further.

He thinks it's depression/anxiety a lot too and she took therapy that she said helped to vent and just talk outside of them but she's almost just shutdown sort of. To me it's like she's maxed out internally and auto pilot is running on fumes. So she sleeps excessive after work and that's about it.

This seems like it's mapping. They both agree there's this issue of equality in the relationship but perhaps they just aren't a true fit like they thought. Maybe all good things come to an end. I didn't want to jump to saying this because I don't want to be that guy.

He just responded that he is trying to pull back a little and see how she responds they haven't talked since yesterday even though she sent him a message today about an errand she wanted him to do. He wants to fall back but is so emotionally attached that it's hard not to go back and just keep eating the problem until burn out again. U guess torn you could say. Love is a wild emotion is all I have to say.

Do you think he should go totally dark on contact until she comes around to wanting to talk or how should he approach? To me it seems like he's a bit overly hopeful or sees the good in people too much. Which is why I struggled to offer help and advice.

I know and it's so disheartening that is why I don't know what to tell him other than it's heart breaking ending love but I kind of think it might be the best bet. They currently haven't spoke today since an argument last night. She wanted to use him to complete an a long errand and he refused until they have a couple day to relax and reset. She got mad and he thought it best to go silent until she figures out her end. It almost seems like she will apologize but it's manipulative because she will go back to the same pattern he said.

She agrees it's wildly imbalanced and wants to change/ feels horrible and she told him he deserves better. He said she tries hard for a day or two then drops the ball and returns to old ways.

I've seen this for businesses and homes. It's atrocious.

Unfortunately it seems to be in a neighborhood that is exactly the opposite of this. Should narrow down the scope of answers.

Build a secret sex room has to be the underated aspect of your whole reply 👌😂. What if said people are pretty vanilla?

Fucking under rated kids show of all time.

Yea. I wanted a whole back scene of a Roman clashing Armageddon scene on my back with my spine being the rock that both armies meet. With the giant banners good and evil had displaying quotes on my shoulder blades.

Shitty tattoo artist gave me the first quote on my shoulder blade it came out looking like a prison tattoo after it healed. Never went back and abandoned the idea because the artist had killer photos in their portfolio but their ink to skin work after healing was rough. I'm guessing he took the photos fresh. Fucker.

I see the confusion here. Your mixing well engineered with modern.

I see houses all the time that are brand new construction or within the last 10 to 15 years perhaps all the way back to 08. The materials used are not what they used to be, regulations have gotten tighter and to cut costs contractors are building lesser quality homes. Everything creaks, is loose, cheap particle board and cheap plywood.

There is very little pride in craftsmanship in Contrustion, Contractor Work. Raw materials are of weaker quality and higher cost. If anyone is looking for quality housing look for pre 2008 homes. While this isn't a blanket statement, it covers 80 percent or more of modern housing that isn't concrete.

Lawsuit alert lol

Gave me a captcha wtf

Walmart alone is a scary good at this. They have dedicated teams towards facial and item theft recognition. They won't even report your theft until it reaches grand larceny they will simply tally the theft. Because there is no point in arresting a 20 dollar theft or having a case to prosecute with teams of lawyers.

What an ignorant comment. Just because your Russian doesn't automatically mean your an insane moron based on where you were born and raised. There's people from all walks of life in all countries. Not everyone or everything is tied in a black and white box. Plenty of Russians are against war and the current geopolitcal climate.

Your right about the doom scrollers part. Everyone on Lemmy atleast on the larger subs are always negative. Politics are dominating the main subs and explore page. It's such a turn off. Politics needs to generally stay out if the lime light. Instead of doom posts thrown in your face. Non stop.

This is accurate right now especially. It was milsim at first and has gotten a lot more relaxed and enjoyable.

This game is so awesome.