Rose Thorne(She/Her) @ NakariLexfortaine @lemm.ee

Posts

2

Comments

1,102

Joined

2 yr. ago

Ballistic corkscrew penis.

0 to full in .5 seconds.

I know this is just a "grass is always greener" because I am horridly burned out at my current gig and it's only getting worse, but damn, I'm really sitting here on my lunch break going "Yeah, gathering fish jizz sounds a whole lot better than going back into this hellhole".

On the other hand, you probably need some marine life education to become the cuddlefish jizzmopper that I certainly lack.

Hey, if you can't tell a duck from a goose, peace was never an option.

Because sometimes you just have to find out.

Yeah, sadly, it seems no matter how ample the parking, people will still just take a pump.

I kinda get it, but at this point, we should all know better. Leave one person behind to pump and park, you're going to be in the building for awhile just trying to get snacks and get checked out. I've never seen our local less than packed inside.

Let's take inspiration from the glory days of piracy and Boondock Saints. Strap guns across every square inch of your body you can, and then line the trenchcoat.

I can climb into the Metapod all I like, I never come out a Butterfree.

Disappointment at every turn.

The modern version of Will and Grace?

Kinda surprised it hasn't been made already.

Have you been to a Buc-Ees?

Hundreds of pumps. It's a goddamned ocean of concrete and steel. You can use the main building as a shelter for a mid-sized town and have enough bathrooms. It's a fucking department store serving as a gas station.

They're goddamned massive.

581 miles? You can still see a Buc-Ees in the rearview at that distance.

They're like the tides. We're currently in a Beans run, and it's been going for awhile. Soon, people will get bored, and Jeans- or Denimposting will come back. You'll normally see some crossover(beans in some jeans, jeaned Beanis, jeans with a bean pattern) before the next shift is complete.

The Pillars of Lemmy.

Beans, Linux, Jeans, Communism, Saddam Hussein.

Just the way the wheel turns.

Well, the two do have some things in common.

They both want you to follow them.

They want to lead you from chaos and danger.

They focus on helping the needy.

They can make food magically appear.

People love making art of when they got nailed.

"I'll be there... Our special place... Brought to you by Papa John's."

And for those who need the therapy of hearing it.

http://www.nooo.me/

Well, someone's getting a visit from Calander Man.

Don't mind me, I'm just setting up the popcorn cart for when the programmer arguments start. I'll share.

Marital rape.

Oh, wait, so much of it already is "I was raised to perform my womanly duties, no matter my feelings".

Sorry, this is a personal sore point, not trying to go off on you.

Oh, but it isn't a fetish! It's the command of God! They have to push out as many children as possible, because the Creator wishes for us to cover every inch of this planet, and they need a holy army to fight the demons Satan sends against us! And the women need to be pretty and subservient because Gods a man and He loves the good, pretty ladies.

(I have heard this bullshit so many fucking times, with so many reasons why this is their gods plan.)

But they can be eaten, or turned into gold, or juiced, or turned into a labor force, or...

Wait, what was Gargamel's actual plan?