N0body @ N0body @sh.itjust.works

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2 yr. ago

"Hi, I'm actor Mark Hammill. You might remember me from such unfinished games as Untitled Star Wars Game 3 and Untitled Star Wars Game 7."

There once was a man named Buck

Whose colleagues in the House did suck

He called out their lies

But they were still his guys

This country his votes continued to fuck

Company of Orcs 2: Ukraine Boogaloo

I tied a ROFLcopter to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to make a shitpost cost a cheeseburger, and in those days, cheeseburgers came with pictures of cats on 'em. "I can has cheezburger," you'd say.

Musk buys Comet Pizza and relocates all his child sex slaves there. "Once we get the cages installed, the Libs will be fully owned."

"Tell the red dot to come out or everybody gets it!"

"Tell President Zuckerberg my only regret is that I have but one life to give to block his ads."

The crash is very much a part of the cycle. The rich siphon every single dollar they can during boom times, then increase their market share by buying out smaller, struggling competitors during crashes. And they use taxpayer money to fund their acquisitions.

The class war is over. We lost a long time ago.

And why is it always a slam when wrestling has so many other moves? "White House Suplexes Musk" "Trump Power Bombs DeSantis From The Top Rope" At least be creative with it.

That's why I start off every date by throwing a chair across the room and screaming at a random stranger.

The problem isn't exactly apathy. The problem is that the system has failed everyone but the rich and powerful, and there are zero signs that it will improve. A lot of people don't see a difference between Trump and Biden, because their lives are hopeless either way. The American Empire is collapsing, and the politicians are doing nothing to stop it.

"Oopsie. Our bad. The base was probably in some other hospital. We're going to bomb them all just to make sure."

The GOP needs to watch that episode of Battlestar Galactica where Adama had them set up a boxing ring so the crew could all air out their grievances with each other. Gaetz and McCarthy can be the main event.

If you can't handle me at my rude and unreasonable chicken, you don't deserve my strange juice.

Such a move would lead to an increase in “civility,” Haley believes. “When they know their pastor, their family members can see it, it's going to help our kids and it's going to help our country," she said.

That's what everyone said about posting next to your real name on Facebook. How did that turn out?

Thou art a grammar Prussian, good sir.

Next DST, move the clocks up half an hour and make the change permanent. Extra half hour of sleep, extra half hour of sunshine, and no more changing clocks.

No one expects The Spanish Inquisition Space Force Commandos dropping from low orbit.

Terrible parenting. If you're going to go to the trouble of yeeting your baby at least do it properly with a baby trebuchet.

I honestly don't even care anymore. Bethesda peaked at Morrowind.