So use any one of the multitudinous other phrases available in English to actually HELP them become calmer or less agitated. Respond to the facts of the individual situation instead. "He's not worth it." "You're better than this/you have been doing so much better, don't let this set you back." "You're in a bad trip man, gonna have to ride it out as easy as you can." "Chill, dude." "Take a deep breath." (This may be followed by one loud long scream, but that's cathartic and may be followed by rational behavior)
Nobody, no matter how much they need to get control over their emotions and behavior, needs to "calm down".
Guess you'll have to bring fresh-baked cookies to work then, for cover. And also sharing. Pro tip: make them large, then break a few in half, depending on the gender splits in your workplace. Women who would like a cookie but feel guilty because of norms about dieting will happily take a half. Or maybe break off a quarter. But they won't break one if none are already broken. Most men will enjoy taking a whole one because diet norms don't apply to them. A few people will enjoy virtuously refusing them because vegan or keto or something. Nobody will notice you smell like vanilla.
If you're not a baker, or you
have a friend with celiac, Rice Krispy Bars also have vanilla and are gluten free.
You guys don't get it. Those products smell like that to appeal to women. If anyone even notices you smell like a woman, the obvious inference is that you have a girlfriend. Or at least spent the night with a woman. If it's dilute enough to not really be noticeable, women will just find it appealing. Vanilla in particular is non-gendered, what you smelled like was a cookie!
If you had it on "sanitize" the surfactants in the softener would probably loosen enough of the food and the extra-hot rinse would get it all off and kill the germs so you'd be okay except maybe for burnt lasagna.
Don't be in such a hurry to meet Jesus, Senator, because He's going to cast you into the flaming pit you've been digging your whole life with every act of greed and heartlessness.
Modern fish are often dark on top and light underneath to fool prey/predators but also often colorful. Why do they assume one evolutionary step over the other? That beautiful blimpie belly calls out for decoration!
That's correct according to the "at conception" crowd! Why have silly words like "embryo" and "fetus" when you can just call it a "baby" or "person" and give it the same complete lack of medical and financial assistance as the born children and people in your red states?
Okay, so playing D&D could be helpful to a child interested in a nursing career? Getting the arithmetic fully automatic, since they also have a lot of other details to think about.
And her anger actually sounds like it was directed at the satan-preachers, like she was storming off to give them a piece of her mind: "These kids are choosing to play a game that reinforces their math and higher-level thinking skills better than their homework and you want me to stop them!?"
I got that, you started your comments in direct reference to OP's post. I just figured, since people replied to you with comments about the Guardian (which has since revised their headline 3 times btw) you might want to know where that was coming from.
The BBC headline right now is even worse: "Israel denies firing at civilians after Hamas-run ministry says 31 killed in Gaza aide centre attack." I'm typing it out myself because it keeps changing every update.
That's a good one!
Edit: Maybe the Avengers could have gotten Big Hulk going for them if they'd told Banner to calm down!