I know that you're right. I don't know what I would do if I went to therapy and we determined that the marriage should end. My wife's health insurance is through my work. My daughter would be wrecked. It is scary.
If students do not feel respected, then they will neither give respect nor learn. You call a kid what they want to be called. Without a sense of shared community, the classroom will fail.
Additionally, there is not a religion on earth that says you can't use people's nicknames, preferred names, chosen names, or whatever. This guy can go eat a bag of Dicks.
No idea, but I have a prescription for prn anti-psychotics after discussing this very topic with my mental health provider ... so, do whatever you want with that information.
I knocked that out at summer camp of 4th grade. /s