Amateur! I haven't stood up in so long my leg muscles have atrophied. Slowly my body has fused with my office chair. I only take 10 min micro naps as my body periodically shuts down, a weakest of my flesh. Never leaving the office, I occupy one entire floor of the building as my productivity lair. This floor has been secretly hidden from everyone else to avoid distractions. I only enter other floors when most employees are gone for the day, usually late at night. I make these excursions to double check my coworkers daily progress or scavenge for food.
Most of my coworkers seem to fear me, perhaps I've become something of myth? They gave me a name, because I heard one scream "the Chairman is real!" as I startled him. He was working late that night as I creeped around his cubicle wall. Since I was famished, I quickly knocked him out with a keyboard and dragged him back to my lair for a quick power lunch.
Minor improvement I heard of was implemented. A company let employees use sick time for doctors visits, because it is preemptive to employees getting sick and actually resulted in less employees on lengthy sick leave. For example finding cancer before it turns into a major issue, because employees don't have to weigh PTO time off for childcare or selfcare.
There are steps companies can do to improve their employees lives. One miniscule pool of PTO as a catch all doesn't cut it anymore. There is too much demand on our time outside of work.
If I was alive in the Warhammer 40k universe I'd honestly probably be turned in servo-skull and tasked with far more mundane jobs like following around a Space Marine as a lamp.
Gimli:
\ Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an Elf.
\
\ Gogolas:
\ What about side by side with someone precious?