Lost_My_Mind @ Lost_My_Mind @lemmy.world

Posts

73

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5,456

Joined

1 yr. ago

I do not understand life. My best guess is that none of this is real. The matrix is glitching. PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND LIFE!!! I DON'T GET REALITY!!!

I've never seen any mcdonalds advertise or service 24/7 schedules. Not since the pandemic.

Walmart and Target stopped too.

Walgreens/CVS is the only thing I know that still does 24/7.

If the 90s taught me anything, it's that hacking is done exclusively on monochrome green monitors, with dos. Except once they hack in, the monitor is full color, and somehow has access to every video camera on the planet. With the ability to enhsnce resolution seemingly to magical levels where you can see a clear reflection in someones pupil.

ENHANCE!!!

Many are 24/7.

Lies detected.

What does their basketball skills have to do with this?

/s

ETA? Estimated Time of Arrival?

One of us doesn't know what that stands for. I feel like the time my grandpa died, and mom sent me an email telling me "We're going to the funeral this Friday to pay respects to grandpa. LOL!"

I was quite confused. Turns out she grew up with "Lots Of Love". For a second she seemed like she turned into an absolute psychopath, for like....no reason.

Nice.

Ugh. Poor unskilled photographer doesn't even have the frame in focus. Look how blurry that bush looks! It's almost as pixelated as an Asians genitals!

I'm not entirely clued in to the situation, but as I walked past a tv yesterday the headline said something like "121 dead in flood, including 24 children. 68 still missing".

So.......trump is celebrating the death of children and others. There's no other way to say this. People died, including children, and trump applauded the outcome.

Or am I missing something? Because I don't think I am.

Prison isn't designed for rehabilitation. It's designed for legalized slavery.

I used to see my cat do this. She'd look at me, as if to ask permission to hunt the bug. And I'd always say in a playful voice "Git dat bug! Get em! Didja get em??? Get dat bug!"

Which I'm glad she always "asked", because one time a bee flew in. And she gave her little look and meow that said "get him?" And I was like "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" and grabbed her collar. Then I said "Thats Frank. We don't get Frank. We open the window, and let Frank go, because he's good for the environment! Also he will stab you."

And then my cat said "Wow! You sure do make a lot of friends when you leave the house every day for roughly 10 hours, AND NEVER INVITE ME OR BRING ME!!! Then sometimes you come home smelling like other cats? You think I don't notice? Yeah I just don't say anything! But now you're bringing psychopaths into my home??? No no no sir! This has gone too far! You got some explaining to do mister!!!"

And then Frank said "Excuse me, fine lady and sir. I seem to have gotten seperated from my colony and daily life of having sex with flowers. Could you by chance help me by opening this window a tad? I would be most gracious!"

So then my cat said "I thought you said he was a stabber?"

And Frank said "Only in self defense, fair lady! For I am but a humble bumble bee. I make honey with my bisexual bee bois. We have a whole nest just out past yonder."

And then the duck said "Quack quack!"

And I said "When did we get a duck?"

Jeff Apple is walking down the stairs. I've met Jeff Apple. All the Apples really. Big family. Yuuuuge Apple family, some might say. And I'll say it. Because nobody is saying it enough. Folks, wouldn't it be great if we could all build a great big Apple?

No no no. I'll make it more exciting to watch.

Ok, so first off, everybody loves violence. So the first thing we're doing is giving every player a knife. They're free to use it however they like. Except the goalie. The goalie gets a chainsaw. All the refs gets flame throwers.

Ok, so next we want to increase female viewership. So now all the athletes are going to have a uniform that is only a bra and panties, sponsered by Victoria Secret.

No more groups. It's now one group. Elimination tournament style.

And now, the soccer ball is filled with a bunch of beans. These beans are filled with rice size atomic bombs. If the ball is shot with a special liquid, the protective layer around the ball is melted away. And now the ball is one big explosive with a timer. Nobody knows when it'll blow up. This is only used in sudden death overtime.

And the airplanes above the field release toxin gas that makes everybody horny as hell. That's when drunk people in the stands start fucking.

Unclear if you worked for the army, or for Mcdonalds. Either way you were probably paid about the same, and had to go to war every day.

I work 7 days a week with 4 different jobs. I don't have time to go out, much less have friends. But I have walked out of places and stopped in a gym signup process because they required a cell phone to use their service.

"Hi, I'd like a menu"

"Oh, our resteraunt only has QR codes."

"Ok, bye bye."

I just don't scan QR codes.

So the military has been bound by the same handcuffs that McDonalds is with it's ice cream machines?

It was messed up that McDonalds agreed to that. It's TERRIFYING that the group in charge of our military ever did.

During the civil war in the usa in the 1800s, locals would leave their house, bring a blanket, and a picnic basket. They would sit on top of a hill, and watch the battle, like it was entertainment.

Maybe that's making a comeback?

Majority of small, 100% of large.