LeylaaLovee @ LeylaaLovee @lemmy.blahaj.zone

Posts

20

Comments

239

Joined

2 yr. ago

Nobody is asking for your opinion but you keep butting in with concern trolling even after people explain the issue to you. Fuck off dude

That's not the issue. You can't say "yeah I like women" and then say that includes pre op trans men. That's fucking gross to say. He literally did the "oh noooo but your boobs!" You guys really go straight to being condescending before you actually try to understand anything, Jesus fucking Christ.

Someone who fetishizes trans people. You find trans people hot? That's totally fine, you can have preferences. But grouping post op trans women and pre op trans men sexually is saying that they're being viewed as women regardless of their identity.

If you wanna fuck a trans person, it should be because you're attracted to them. Maybe you like boobs and penis together and that's fine. Maybe you like a masculine chest and a vagina. You can be attracted to a certain intersection, even if that intersection is a straight one. But fucking them because they're trans and exotic is chasing. If you like women, fuck trans women. If you like men, fuck trans men. But don't just randomly flip them around like there's no difference to you.

Not trying to get it started again. That thread was simply dominating the past few days on here and was posted by an actual mod of the community. Telling those people to fuck off because this community ultimately isn't theirs. They're guests in our house. They can tell us our living room is nice. But if they start moving around the couches, they're assholes and telling them to fuck off is support for the trans people here (including me) who are having the community highjacked by stupid people.

Just so you know, before I say anything, I am happy that you've joined this community. I don't want anything I say to seem like I'm discouraging you from participating. The overall point of what I'm about to say is that this should be a trans community. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable because you don't know if you're allowed, but at the same time I wish that non-queer people as a group had to have a moment of empathy of "oh this place isn't for me". It's a similar fear to how trans people feel in men's and women's spaces

196 is extremely trans oriented at this point, to the point that I'd consider it a borderline trans community. I like that it isn't fully trans though. You know how often cis people have a monopoly on the conversation on a distributed community? There's nothing necessarily wrong with cis people having that control, but why can't trans people have that same space? Other people are allowed of course, but if we have to enter a separate reality for other people's communities, other people should have to enter ours. There's no way for us to force an equal medium, the best way we can enforce that is by wanting empathetic but easy experiences for other.

Thank you for providing good context on this thread. The original comment was ass, but not important overall. If the mod hadn't decided to explicitly defend it, this wouldn't even be a conversation. This entire discourse would have been avoided if it wasn't for a shitty mod post.

It seems very "chaser" to me. In other comments, the poster mentioned how he was attracted to "post op trans women and pre op trans men". Grouping those two demographics together in this way will never be seen as not chaser.

I have no idea what the history of 196 being queer is, but it was an extremely queer subreddit. I think it has something to do with how many trans people also happen to be shitposters.

Nothing about OP. About the post that made Ava post. There was a shitty user that created a whole community drama here today

Nothing about OP, about a recent shitty mod post about a user that did that. That's what the no transphobia post is about.

If you group post op trans women and pre op trans men together, you're an asshole and don't belong here.

Thank God. THAT post earlier was shocking me.

This is why we're saying it's transphobic. It doesn't sound like you view pre-op trans men as men. You're attracted to women, and that's fine, but trans men aren't women.

I find this statement bad because of the sheer number of queer people in the open source space.

N'wah!

I'm saying actual allies don't have to remind people that they're allies.

No idea, this is the first thread I've seen about it. It was my main instance so I'm kinda worried.

Oh God, Mormons are an entire fucking rabbit hole, By far the craziest mainstream religion, there's no comparison to me. A church based on saying all the quiet parts of modern Christianity as loud and proud as possible. For example, in the first book of the book of mormon, the Lamanite tribe are a bunch of sinners so they and all their ancestors are cursed with dark skin. Mormons believe PoC are literally the result of a curse by God. That's not even getting into the insane fan fiction that is putting fake romans in the Americas thousands of years ago. Or God telling Nephi to kill someone he already ran away from because he needed the family genealogy records.

Early Mormon church was literally a patriarchal white ethnostate cult. Quite literally the y'all-quaeda, complete with heavy ephedrine use and prophecies in paper bags. They believed that they were God's chosen people, that the needed to bring in a new culture to the world because the mainstream had strayed too far from Christianity to be saved. This included the English language. A new alphabet is just in line with what Brigham Young did after Smith died, turn the cultiness up to 11. He wanted to seceed from the US and declared war at one point to try. Trying to keep his people only recieving one stream of information that he can control just makes sense.

Yeah, some of the best allies I've ever had also had their unintentionally transphobic moments. When I first came out, there was an old woman I worked with who referred to me as "The queer". She'd also ask if I needed to go to the restroom anytime she went because she knew I was terrified to go in the women's bathroom alone. She'd chew people out on my behalf for being even slightly disrespectful. Even if I had the courage to do it (I didn't) I wouldn't have been able to advocate for myself like I needed to because I'm a trans woman. It's like how sometimes you gotta find a man to say something to another man so that they'll actually listen.

I spoke to her about it, she said she understood the discomfort and she'd just been using it as a term for so long that she didn't see it as an insult. She never stopped calling me that although the frequency did go down. She never said "Well I do all this for you as a friend, why are you even mentioning this?". She saw that she was unintentionally making her friend uncomfortable and wanted to do better. She still slipped up sometimes afterwards, and that was perfectly fine with me.

That's the difference between an ally that isn't perfect and someone who uses allyship to boost their ego

196 has always had its disappointing moments, I'm really sorry you had to go through that though. The amount of transphobia that case brought out of people was really hard to live with out in the Midwest.