There were a couple books I read long ago, one of which I think was "Catwatching" by Desmond Morris. I can't recall the other one. Both books indicated the chittering was a frustration sound.
If you like that, you're gonna love "Lies My Teacher Told Me" by James Loewen. I suggest this to everyone as an entry into deprogramming what was learned in US history class.
The United States is a righteous, fair, and just country.
Success and a comfortable life necessarily followed hard, diligent, smart work
Adults, by virtue of having been around longer, necessarily knew more and knew better than I.
Socialism bad.
All kids get beaten on a daily basis for transgressions such as a B grade on their paper, a speck of food still stuck to the dishes after washing, or for listening to music on the radio that their parents didn't like.
By executive order, I decree that humans are, effective immediately, forbidden to ever allow the lap to disappear, ever stop petting or playing with me, or ever leave to go to work. Additionally, I now have Presidential immunity to sleep between JayleneSlide's legs all night, and hugs and kisses must be delivered to my head at every meal time.
I love when someone writes a pleasant "this is my experience and what worked for me." And then people downvote. ITT some real night owl/daywalker tension. :D
Just to add some crunchy bits to the batter, your circadian rhythms will most likely shift as you age. For example, I used to be hardcore night owl, and couldn't imagine my life ever going differently. Then I couldn't do it anymore and managed to become a second-shifter. Now I'm all about getting in bed early and up early.
Your point is spot-on. Fully agreed: modern dishwashers are way more energy- and water-efficient than manually washing dishes. Like at least an order of magnitude.
I personally struggle with this one for different reasons. Energy and water consumption are a very tight concern since I live on a sailboat. I can't just crank the tap to get more water. Marine health is also a concern since, ya know, it's all around me, and I eat some of these critters around my boat. Surfactants in detergent are deeply problematic in the environment and are not removed by most wastewater treatment. Moreover, surfactants impede wastewater treatment because of the emulsification interfere with aerobic treatment (Poland seems to be actively working on the problem). FWIW, manual dish detergent also has surfactants, especially SDS/SLS, so manual washing is not a panacea.
I don't think there is a "right" answer to be had. But it sticks in my craw both ways.
Always, every time.
"Why do you want to work here?"
"Because you have an opening, and the pay looks commensurate for the responsibilities. So far, the role looks like a good mutual fit. But I'm going to need more details to ensure we're good for each other."
Thank you for this. My wife left about a week ago. It blindsided me, but I’m hindsight I could have seen it.
Happy to help
JFC, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, and I deeply empathize. I'm just some douchebag on the internet, but if you need a trained ear, please feel free to DM me.
Sure, hindsight is 20/20, but a critical component is giving yourself grace and emotional space
Now I realize that if I don’t work on myself, I will bring all of my problems to any future relationship. I’m only at the very start of the journey, and every day is still painful – our relationship lasted 15 years, and that can’t be unwound quickly.
There is sense of closure and ability of growth in understanding the whys. Explicitly working to avoid carrying forward the injuries is a huge step. As you probably already read in Gottman: the best couple's therapy is individual therapy. Empathy by way of anecdote: when I was reading Levine's "Attached," so many of the example conversations had me feeling like "Were y'all in the room when we were arguing?!"
I'm serious about the being a sounding board/ear. I hope you find inner peace sooner rather than later.
Fully agreed. According to Gottman's research, relationships can survive "infidelity" just fine. It's the betrayal of trust that nukes relationships.
I can take a lot of shit, but I just don't want to be lied to. And that's why I prefer ENM/poly. People are gonna do people things, but letting my partner have that outlet, not feeling trapped in any way, is (in my experience) critical to keeping the flame alive.
She didn't change; she finally revealed herself. In short, her attachment type is anxious-avoidant. That shit burns down everything around it. She was jealous AND cheating, which was just rich given that we were ENM/poly. I was so busy with life, work, and my sailboat that I only had romantic bandwidth for her.
I am forever changed. I went on an intensive therapeutic and introspective journey. Anxious-avoidant people can be immensely attractive anxious attachment types like me. I identified that in myself, addressed my own life traumas, and developed my personal boundaries. These days, I'm less poly, more monogamish. I approached dating with explicitly defined intentions and must-haves, rather than just random chance. I found the partner of my dreams, and we're about to celebrate eight years together.
Early on, there were mutual warning signs, but we both thought we had the tools to face any challenges. As I mentioned, I had poor boundaries, which now would put an immediate end to any such bullshit.
What can I offer now?
Learn Attachment Theory and know yourself
Read John Gottman books before and all during your relationships
Get professional therapeutic help; CBT, DBT, EFT... you might already have all the tools, but a good therapist will teach how to use them in integration
Learn non-violent communication and/or take a workshop; this will provide massive return on investment in all aspects of your life
Practice meditation and mindfulness; also pays dividends everywhere
Roland TB-303. It's the synth that launched so much electronic music. Examples are legion, but one of my favorites is Psychic TV "E-male:" https://youtu.be/o2U3joQ9oFI
Generally considered among the penultimate 303 examples are:
CBL is one of my all-time faves! Add in Sync24, which is Daniel Vadestrid, AKA ½ of the studio lineup of CBL.