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Iamsqueegee @ Iamsqueegee @sh.itjust.works
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2 yr. ago

Government agency removes spoon emoji from work platform amid protests

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  • Salad Fingers has entered the chat.

    • Official poster for "The Fantastic Four: First Steps"

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  • Then this is the perfect poster!

    • Top 10 moments of RFK Jr.’s reality-bending confirmation hearings

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  • I believe that’s the agenda. Promote anti-vax to the population so they either die or spend money to stay alive. Meanwhile, all politician’s families and billionaires will be vaccinated against whatever comes along well before it’s made available to the public.

    • Led by RFK Jr., Conservatives Embrace Raw Milk. Regulators Say It’s Dangerous.

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  • Brawndo hasn’t been invented yet.

    • How much of my body language should signal I'm actually a Ninja?

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  • If you never catch a falling mug without spilling it’s contents, do you even ninja?

    • Did Trump's executive order just make everyone in the U.S. female?

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  • First to transition, too! Sworn in as a man (citation needed) and decreed herself a woman after.

    • In the U.S. in the 1980s, kids were told by this PSA that their teeth needed exercise, so they should chew crunchy food.

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  • I mean, it was geared towards eating healthier food and not Corn Nuts and ice cubes. It might have been a way to trick kids into eating healthier using Fonzi and “Grease” greaser stereotypes that were popular at the time.

    • UnitedHealth CEO says U.S. health system 'needs to function better'

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  • “We only do reprehensible things because we’re allowed to. We would totally be ethical if forced to!”

    • Defend the Art!

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  • But really: “ “ -Gordon Freeman

    • Scientists say they are close to resurrecting a lost species. Is the age of de-extinction upon us?

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  • Capitalism, uh, finds a way.

    • How do you diminish the "aghh it's back to work" feeling at the beginning of the week?

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  • Perpetually Thursvember eleventeenth.

    • Permanently Deleted

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  • Ekksplösif

    • How do you make proper "I am interested in you." eye contact?

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  • There’s a very thin line between the longing look of admiration and the cold gaze of a serial killer.

    • Cats in L.A. County die after drinking recalled raw milk.

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  • You pasteurize after milking!

    • Is there a word (or Wikipedia article) for when someone refutes everything you stated in a comment and acts as if their experience is the authentic way things actually are in the world?

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  • Unless it’s stupid, then it’s anecdodo.

    • Elon Musk to not receive highest-level government security clearance – reports

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  • Officially. Dipfuck sure as hell will just tell him, or leave folders laying about.

    • Would you mind taking a seat over there?

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  • The skull looked 18!

    • What's the most annoying music possible?

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  • The ice cream truck in my area plays the calliope version of “It’s a Small World” every summer, every day, and I want to burn it all down when I hear it. Alternatively, you could plays sounds that are above the adult frequency of hearing if they have children. The kids will be super annoyed and the adults will have no idea it’s even happening. Look up the “mosquito tone”.

    • Red tailed hawk

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  • That guy gets so much voice work.

    • If we're living in a simulation, why would the simulation creators allow the sims to ponder and speculate whether or not they live in a simulation?

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  • Movie rights. Were something like bitcoin. Our ideas generate value to the creators. The more in-sim value that’s created, so it extends to the creators. Mirrors are to blame, you see. Whichever creator allows mirrors to exist in-sim nearly destroyed the sim the first time a “person” stood between two mirrors and saw their infinite reflection. The immediate fix was to allow the concept of infinite universes and sim life.