IDontHavePantsOn @ IDontHavePantsOn @lemm.ee

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1

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274

Joined

2 yr. ago

Just tell your family some stranger on the Internet said no. They should understand.

I'm not divorced. I just like writing satire surrounding my personal opinions. Also, I personally stop every wedding I can. I want my wife and I to be the only married couple on earth.

I just looked it up and it was actually $40. All in all mine cost around $80 including a couple cheap rings from Walmart and gas.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I hope we paid the notary since she stayed after work in city hall. She was a sweet lady. Since my wife and I just wanted to be done with it, she asked if we had any words and when we both said no she asked if she could and said a few sweet things and started crying when we said "I do".

Too much on weddings...

The USA government considers marriage a tax and law advantage. Thats all it is. A mutually agreed upon union to gain a capital advantage. Don't blow your savings to play dress up and get your family drunk. Don't throw a party for everyone.

Marry the one you love for the $35 marriage license and be done with it. You still end up being married, with tax benefits. Yes you won't have the memories of stressing yourself out just to go through with it, but you will still have your money, and a better chance at having a good life with your piece of shit spouse that only works to spend your remaining time and money driving you into the ground until you get the courage after 4 years to stand up and divorce them. Luckily for you, you saved a bunch of money to pay your lawyer.

I'm tired. Good night everyone.

ASL?

Sure.

That's all of life...

"And how long ago was your last doctor's visit?"

"Uh, 7-ish years ago?"

" Great. That'll be $350."

I'm fine with hurting all wildlife.

Edit: if you realized this was satire, then congrats! If you didn't, then congrats!

You weren't replying to my comment, which is nowhere near this chain of comments, but I think you were targeting me. Your satire is too close to being serious. I declare that you're an idiot. Fight me now.

Agreed. I've bought various expensive pillows and was never comfy or satisfied. Memory foam hybrid cooling blah blah blah.... never comfy. I bought two down feather pillows for $50. Best pillows ever for me. Only reason I had to buy more was my wife kept stealing mine.

I always end up using my wife's earrings.

Bumperpucker

Appropriation

Gurner

Clap

Clippy

Pickles

Masher

Guana

Iguana

I've never had one with a sauce. Breakfast pizza is super popular here. It's just scrambled eggs mixed with cheddar cheese with your choice of toppings. It's one of the few things I could eat for breakfast every day and not get sick of it.

Let me just throw QA into the ring as well. If anyone would report you to HR, it's someone in a QA position, or your direct manager. The difference is that your manager needs you to work your position. The QA person needs to find flaws.

We start the bid at $20.

Do we have $20?

Remember bidders that Twitter...ahem...X?.. X... Okay...X... Still has employees...really?...employees that are clearly loyal and easily controllable, as well as a nominal amount of IT equipment.

You should read the YouTube comments. His fans sniff his farts the same way they did for trump. Literally saying he saved their lives.

The charged me $1k after saying literally: "Well I can see something is wrong with it, but it's not broken, so I'm going to give you some Tylenol".

That was 9 years ago. My shoulder has been dislocated ever since.

The next person has to be ready to reach for the slice. I don't care if someone is intending to get a slice. The slice is being grabbed or the box is closed. It's like holding the door open. If it shuts before you're in reaching distance, your timing wasnt correct. It's never rude to shut the box, it always courtesy. This is serious pizza business, and right now our world runs on pizza time. Guess what? It's pizza time.

Leaving the box open is akin to murder in my home. You want hot fresh pizza? So do I. Don't leave the box open.