Hugh_Jeggs @ Hugh_Jeggs @lemm.ee

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1 yr. ago

There was a young lady called Jean

Who fell in a washing machine

She tumbled around

Till she almost drowned

But she came out remarkably clean

Ebikes have transformed where I live. It's mountainous so the only cyclists you'd see were skinny lycra-clad guys on 5 grand bikes.

Now virtually everyone has a bike, from kids to octogenarians, and the only difference between the lycra-clad cyclists and the shorts n t-shirt cyclists is the fact the ones on the ebikes are all smiling 😊

Yeah but one of my favourite things is when watching quiz shows, see who can come up with the most fucking pretentious phrase for "I'm a salesperson"

Hi my name's Lorna and I'm a client communications solutions engineer

Ya hi my name's Kyle and I'm like a future business outreach manager ya

Just make sure your computer is working well so that you can keep in touch with her.

Start by fixing the fucking 'shift' key.

The difference between shit and shite

Kevin Bridges

Then everyone clapped

Kinky Sex Makes The World Go Round

I once saw sweet n sour sauce in a French supermarket, "sauce aigre-doux"

I looked up aigre to see what it meant and right enough, it just means sour.

At that point it clicked that French for wine is "vin" so sour wine is vin aigre

Or vinegar

Trade your kids for guns, it's a trade-up

news

Pffft

quite hard to remove

It's the plant equivalent of cockroaches

This post brought to you by someone who never planted that cursed, evil herb in their garden

Oh yeah because you just know the people that enjoy them despite them being messy and loud are the ones running about in tiny-penis trucks

You'd buy a couple tools? Which couple, and why do these two people deserve tools?

Why does Rishi always look like his mum knitted him?

Hey, most of us drive about in small, fuel-efficient cars the whole year

Ban our fireworks once you ban your millions of tiny-penis trucks!

Nah op is in the right here, it's a really reliable indicator of ragebait, tabloid and/or amateur journalism

What's crazy is someone saying "It's somewhere you'd bring a baby to without a second thought" about a fucking shopping mall

Obama so lucky he can make a spelling mistake and still get away with it

It's hot

Am I cool?

Get Einstein here