Skip Navigation

InitialsDiceBearhttps://github.com/dicebear/dicebearhttps://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/„Initials” (https://github.com/dicebear/dicebear) by „DiceBear”, licensed under „CC0 1.0” (https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/)HO
HonkyTonkWoman @ HonkTonkWoman @lemm.ee
Posts
20
Comments
632
Joined
2 yr. ago

  • I mean… dunno about you, but I look my best with that sweet patina of sweat glistening on my forehead, a drop of drool meandering towards my chin, and hot load in my drawers.

    I may not remember some nights, but I rest easy knowing that I’m a damn fine lookin drunk. Too much booze also makes me smell amazing.

    Oh, and I’m a great drunk cook too. You can absolutely trust me with that knife.

  • Way too many clothes for Florida, much less the southern United States, just entirely too many clothes altogether.

    The distinct lack of a visible tallywhacker should lead most to correctly assume this image is, in fact, artificially intelligent. If that trait is not as obvious, maybe the absence of alligators & crystal meth will serve as triggers to unlocking this truth.

  • I did this to a friend, no idea how high up their “weird dinner shit” list this sits.

    I was in kindergarten when I got invited over to stay over & the mom served broccoli.

    I hate broccoli.

    I tried ignoring the broccoli, no dice. I tried telling the mom I was allergic, no dice. I tried trading in the broccoli for more bread, no dice…

    Out of options, I begrudgingly ate a piece & knew immediately I couldn’t stomach another, so I did the only logical thing an illogical kindergartner knew to do….

    I stuffed the broccoli in the couch cushions…

    Yes, I got caught. Their dog sniffed out my stash.

  • Sounds like they got some of the discounts corrected within 24 hours, but other discounts remained for 3 days:

    And it would be three days before IT staff at the prison shop were able to fully shut down the hacker-provided discounts, according to the hacker’s account.

  • If Upper Decking someone is taking a dump in the toilet tank, what would pissing in the humidifier be called?

    “Watering the lawn” is about all I can come up with & I think it’s a pretty shit name. Need some more suggestions…

    Also, my brother & I had go cart growing up. One afternoon we ran that thing until engine overheated, leaving us stranded.

    Being an impatient lil redneck, my brother decided to whip it out & piss on the engine to cool it off…

    Hot piss smells fuckin awful…

  • If you salt them and let them sit for a bit (like 10 min?) before assembling, it’ll amp up the flavor of the tomato slice & draw out some of the moisture; leaving you with a less soggy BLT.

    I didn’t believe that nonsense until I tried it, now I slice & season tomatoes first. It’s kinda crazy.

  • Only if he broke into a radio station & doused that burrito with hot sauce from a battery powered toy gun!

    Also, I’m gonna need a football helmet full of cottage cheese & any naked pics of Bea Arthur you happen to have lying around.

  • rule

    Jump