HauntedCupcake @ HauntedCupcake @lemmy.world

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2 yr. ago

Women aren't universally victims. They are not some sort of angelic holy being incapable of wrong. They're human beings.

Isn't that the whole point of feminism? To treat women like people? Not livestock to be protected?

Dude the entire point of the "#AllMen" and "#YesAllMen" was that women need men's help to police shitty behaviour from other men.

Half the point of the bear meme is that men hide their power level from women until it's too late.

Why is it suddenly different when someone suggests women do their part?

That's all very valid, I've experienced what you've said here too.

On the other hand, I've also had interactions with people who trauma dump as a deliberate tactic to abuse my empathy to excuse their toxic behaviour. I believe this is fairly common with narcissists.

It's made interactions with people who are genuinely trauma dumping really hard for me, as it immediately gets my guard up and adds a huge amount of friction to future interactions.

I get that this is partially just my problem, and also that this comment itself is kinda trauma dumping. But I thought it would be helpful as another reason as to why trauma dumping might not be the best idea

It's even worse, a lot of the posts here are outright refusing to explain anything, or branding them as the problem for not understanding immediately.

It's so insanely bad it almost feels like an incel psyop at times

I never said it was, and for some people it will be worth it.

I'm not going to get Elon's stupid chip, I'm just saying it's not as one sided as you say

It's experimental tech, I wouldn't want to be the Guinea pig either.

However, if I was quadriplegic and could only use the somewhat limited external tech, and a significant portion of my life was interacting with a computer. Fuck yeah the risk is worth a performance boost. Especially considering this is going to be a lot safer and more powerful when it hits the mass market

Totally agree, they'll never go for that. I meant licensed as in that the media is being legally distributed. But they wouldn't go for it as it would mean that customers might have an amount of ownership.

The distinction is that the private tracker is legal to run, as you'd be paying the licence holder for the ability to torrent using their private tracker.

I like the Audible idea of "you have X amount of GB a month that you can download, and you can pay more for more GB". It gives the customer a reason to keep paying, and therefore allow the business to exist.

Licence is probably the wrong word as I'm not anywhere near an expert on this

I'd pay 40€ a month for an officially licensed private torrent tracker. If they gave discounts based on the amount seeded I doubt they would even need the stupidly expensive infrastructure.

I don't even have the arr stack because it's cheaper, just because it's more convenient and no one can take it away from me

Is this a joke?

I mean this with the greatest respect, I'm not making a judgement on the gameplay.

But there's a whole spectrum between Roblox and the latest Quadruple A™ that all consist of "worse graphics"

The literal title of this post forces anyone who doesn't already understand the issue, to then view themselves as said man

Sure, it's more nuanced, misandry doesn't have as much a visceral impact on men's lives. But to minimise it to nothing is a bit far don't you think? That's the same black and white un-nuanced thinking you're accusing others of.

Women being able to be shitty people doesn't make all men saints automatically. There is no absolution of sin by proving the other "side" is bad too

I think I came off a bit too abrasively, but I was trying to make the same point as you, and missed that parent comment was a joke 🤦

Apologies, it is clearly a joke now that I look at it again

I already knew women get harassed more than men, but I assumed there was much more of a discrepancy than "twice", it's still a lot don't get me wrong. But that means that 1/3 harassment incidents occur to men. Which is wildly different from what I assumed. I thought it was going to be like 90%+ women.

Thanks for the data

I get that your post is phrased so that it's shocking and incites an emotional reaction from men, thus further increasing the reach of your post. It's valuable in the way that it gets the message out, helping everyone learn.

But you can't then expect it not to be shocking and incite an emotional reaction from men, and then demonise them for not immediately seeing your point of view. It undermines the ability to have a conversation about very real women's issues.

You can't expect men to be cold calculating machines that automatically have the required knowledge and emotional intelligence to see through this esoteric bear question. Hell, there’s a good chunk of women on side man

"Either ya understand why most women pick the 🐻 or you are the 🐻" made it about them. The post title is telling people that they have to agree or they are the problem. Which is categorically untrue and fully shifts it away from talking about generic men, to that singular person.

The post title is already distracting from the topic

Edit (because I can't stop having random thoughts):

Minimising the emotions of these men distracts from the conversation too. It's not hard to acknowledge that they're upset, and empathetically offer your understanding. I've done this with multiple anti-bear men, they've all come to understand the women's point of view. And with that, you've reduced your enemies, if not straight up gained allies

These peoples aren't maliciously going out their way to "undermine women’s voices", it's a side effect of defending themselves. Most people aren't tactically analysing how best to reinforce the patriarchy

Also, it’s pretty tyring trying to write anything here on lemmy since every time you say something someone disagrees with you are “sea lioning”, “you are a troll” or “you are the bear”. (not you, check the other comments). Nobody goes tell them “You should remain calm and have civil conversation”, though.

Totally, they're really not helping. I've replied to a few suggesting they calm down, but most seems dismissive or otherwise not worth the time. I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't think you were being sincere. I genuinely think you could be a force for positive discussion.

This whole post and it's comments are quite depressing for me, as I just see people with valid points getting so passionate that they're both talking past each other (yourself included). It raises defences and no one learns anything

Because the answer is inflammatory and the discourse around it is further fanning those flames. The title of the post is "Either ya understand why most women pick the 🐻 or you are the 🐻." ffs. That deliberately implies that people who don't already understand the answer are stalkers and rapists, which defaultly puts people on the defensive.

Men are allowed emotions, and those emotions can cloud judgement. Men aren't cold calculating machines that automatically have the required knowledge and emotional intelligence to see through this esoteric bear question. Hell, there’s a good chunk of women on side man.

Making the question so inflammatory is a double edged sword, you reach a larger audience, but you’re way more likely to drive people from your cause

Yeah, people do. But until that happens I think it's best not to have post titles like "Either ya understand why most women pick the 🐻 or you are the 🐻" that just further inflame the situation. That title directly makes it about the reader (assuming the reader is anti-bear)