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Posts
2
Comments
529
Joined
2 yr. ago

  • City.

    I want to be able to surround myself with a variety of people and cultures, while also being able to surround myself with the community that makes me feel welcome.

    Growing up gay in a rural town that was relatively progressive was still a nightmare, and the town's best feature for me was the commuter train that took me to the closest big city.

    I love having access to basically everything relatively easily and I love having a multitude of options for all the things I have access to. Small towns can't provide that.

    I also hate yards, though gardens are nice.

    So yeah, for me while I have found some small towns I could make work, I would always be giving up things that I value to do so. Big cities are the best, and smaller cities can be good, too, but I'm a city boy through and through.

  • For me the important difference between the two isn't just a zoning problem, it's a people problem.

    Small towns, like the one I grew up in, even ones that are comparatively progressive, are still a nightmare for anyone who doesn't fit in with the community norm.

    Big cities let people find their community because therefore a lot of different ones to try.

    This doesn't go away with different planning or by fucking cars or whatever the kids are into these days.

  • I would parade the cheaters through town naked while ringing a bell and saying "shame" over and over again.

    Or just give them a 0 for the assignment if I had evidence of cheating.

    Not being able to solve a problem in class that they could solve at home is not evidence of cheating. Neither is not showing your work on hard problems, especially in the take home format where students could not only use other resources, but other sheets of paper, if they wanted.

    If showing all your work is required for answers, then I would have clearly stated that prior to giving the students any work and remind them before all tests to do so.

    If you are sending take home tests over a vacation, you also need to, as a teacher, clearly define what is and isn't cheating if it's not defined in your syllabus.

    As the teacher it's your job to set the requirements and boundaries clearly, and not be reactionary when you've failed to do so.

    It's unclear from your description if you gave proper guidelines on all of this, but it does seem like you didn't set up the requirement of "show your work, or I will accuse you of cheating without any evidence," so I would prepare to get much deserved backlash from this.

    Getting the problem wrong on the board isn't evidence of cheating, but it might be evidence that you need to cover that subject in more depth for the students. Learning is the point after all, not test scores and your pride.

  • In general that's also where we got the stereotype, our bars and bathhouses. These were the more visible parts of our community for a very long time, and they're places gay men went to meet each other and hook up before apps were a thing.

    It would be like judging all men by the men who go to strip clubs.

    It's not that it's necessary wrong, in that there are lots of gay men, myself included, who fit that stereotype. But it inherently excludes people who don't fit from being considered.

    I think that's similar to the statement OP is asking about, but I am not sure where the "women give hints and men miss them" trope comes from.

  • I think someone downvoted you because cum tastes awesome!

    I think what you described is more of a side effect of the lack of a gender-based power differential and equal sexual culture between the two partners.

    I don't think that gay men are as hyper-sexual as the stereotype suggests, but we do have the option to be so without having the repercussions women would face.

  • On the one hand I would have loved to be able to be a parent, which doesn't look likely in this life as a 40 something gay man.

    But on the other hand, if I was me but a woman, I would probably have dozens of children by now.

    So, no, I'd stay as a gay man if I could choose.

  • As a gay man and outsider on this issue, it seems mildly sexist. It's the kind of thing that fits in with the content at over at r/AreTheStraightsOk.

    The assumption that women are giving hints all the time rather than just trying to get through their day seems wrong.

    And the idea that men need to get better at figuring those hints out rather than leaving them alone also seems wrong.

    But whenever I hear the issues which men and women who date each other face I am often baffled.