The Barto @ ElBarto @sh.itjust.works

I make shitty jokes, say dumb shit and post stupid Ai images and "memes"

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739

Joined

2 yr. ago

My voicemail is just me going "BRRRRRRRKZM" or some sort of screaming distorted gibberish

That dogs seen some fucked up shit and I'm pretty sure it was the cause.

My country town is really into ballooning, so there's always a bunch of balloons flying around here and there, so no one would even notice an extra one floating around, unless you were a dick and flying low.

Found feels like a stretch, seems like NY cats have worked out that those poles are a taxi service just for them, so they just look for their pole and wait till their chauffeur to arrive.

That image of David Cameron looks like he's just walked in on you opening a tin that has all his dirty secrets insde and he's fearful of being outed while being completely and utterly turned on by it.

I quite like them, haven't burnt myself when smoking a bong in a long time.

Both, there's actually a Cloning facility in north Hollywood, they have the original Barney locked away, it's kinda sad seeing him laying there in the fetal position crying whilst singing " I love you, you love me, we're a happy family".

The left over Robin Williams clones make up for it tho.

What's it say?

Ok, so we can never ever change the name.

Well that's a start.

I swear if it was men doing the prostitution nobody would give a shit.

Well, that would depend who the clients are.

I'm not gonna lie, that choked me up really good, I really needed that at the time.

Don't forget those silent letters who completely fuck everything up when you're trying to learn the word.

First week of 2024 and I had to put my dog of 15 years down, 2024 can fuck right off already, I'm done with it.

I really hope that back end is the charging port and you get to park you car like one of those toy cars that you you 'charge' up and fire across the room.

If you can point with your cock out, you can point with a rocket.

Yeah, it puts on a big show about it, I thought it was funny the first few times, but it became an asshole about it, standing up triggered it once.

My watch gave up on me and would patronize me when I walked to the fridge by saying "Congratulations" for just walking down the hall.

Yeah I fucked up, had a shitty day and didn't pay attention, but .eh, still funny tho, just I'm an idiot.

I want to see this done like an episode of Judge Judy, but it's some bored king as judge.