DillyDaily @ DillyDaily @lemmy.world

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2 yr. ago

I mean, I'm anti-meds for treating exogenic issues when something can be done for those exogenic issues.

If I'm sitting at home with the heater on and I start feeling warm and flushed, I wouldn't take an ibuprofen (as an anti-pyretic) to bring my temperature down, I'll turn the heater off.

It's the same for mental health, if the sole source of the stress/sorrow is external, medication is nothing more than a bandaid, which is better than nothing if the exogenic influence is outside your individual control (which it often is)..... But we are at a point where the majority of people with mental health issues are experiencing a level of exogenic influence and there are enough of us that if we organised we could change the factors that are causing or worsening our mental health symptoms.

So it bears talking about, is medication always appropriate?

Medication is important, especially for endogenic conditions, and medication is life saving. But if you have exogenic depression and the meds aren't working, the new prescription is protest.

This is what is breaking my mental health.

Life is not guaranteed to be good, nature is cruel and has no rhyme or reason. People die and suffer in horrific ways every day because of nature.

Why the fuck are we adding to that cruelty!?

The chaos of the natural order of the universe sucks and you've got to learn to cope with that. But I've always found that side of life easy to accept because it is so inevitably universally unavailable.

I was born with a genetic illness, it causes lifelong disability due to structural deformity, but can also just randomly cause fatal aneurysms in young people. That's nature, that sucks, but hey, what are you going to do? Figure out how to do what you need to do to live and live it.

But then I'm born into a country with no disability discrimination laws, and no right to access laws. Fortunately we had public healthcare and public disability services, and public welfare services, and when I was younger a disability act was finally brought in (though it's often just lip service)

Growing up I felt safe and secure knowing I had a good social support system...but the public disability services shut down and was replaced by an insurance model, the public healthcare has been functionally split to a semi public copay system and a private paid system, and the welfare pension is so far below the poverty line that people on a disability pension don't earn enough money to meet the eligibility for public housing.

(yes, You can be too poor, for public/social housing.)

And it's one thing for law and legislation to lag behind the needs of the people, it's another thing altogether when an individual or small group of individuals in power systematically impose laws to remove the support and resources you used to have, for barely no more reason than "they want to".

I can't help but feel that a significant portion of my suffering is the result of the few people in the local conservative government that shut down the public disability service providers because it was "costing too much" .... Even though the insurance model they replaced it with costs the government more and supports less people than the previous system, and supports them less effectively.

And how do you live with that?

Like it's one thing for nature to have cursed me to suffer, but a human being heard my story, and countless stories like mine, and still said "nah, fuck em" when it came to vote.

We are living with psychopaths and sociopaths in complete control over our lives. The suffering is happening for a reason, and the reason is that those who are causing the suffering are enjoying the situation (because it gives them money, power, influence, or straight up sadism)

How the fuck do you reconcile that and "learn to sit with your emotions" in one CBT session and in the very next session my therapist is going to teach me about "enforcing my boundaries".... How do I enforce my personal boundary to get the homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic and ableist government to stop abusing me? Oh, I don't, I sit with that emotion.

I can't afford the pills they recommend.

I'm on board!

I'm a big fan of the word cunt in all of its current uses it's my preferred slang term for my own, though it's rare to find someone who's not taken aback by that in the bedroom.

Would it be a grammatically consistent pronoun? "oh, someone left cunt wallet, I hope cunt come get it" or do we need a cunt/cunter situation? So cunt can collect cunter wallet.

The way the OP phrases it rules out trans men who have vaginas, trans women who have vaginas, and a bunch of cis women who've had certain pelvic traumas or cancers and therefore don't have vaginas.

What he's trying to say is "if you were born with a vagina and you align with it" which is actually still funny because I was born with my vagina, I like my vagina, I'll be happily keeping it even after all my surgeries....but if this OP saw my face he would put me in the "trans man" bucket because they lack nuance around identity.

You need to get big into two tone ska, then the fedora is socially acceptable again.

partners they could hypothetically reproduce with

"fertile women"

"women capable of pregnancy"

Outdated, slight red flag option: "gynephile"

Or you could even try "I find women attractive and would love to have kids with the woman I love one day"

There, language isn't that hard.

I love that half of these are fully gender neutral terms of endearment in Australia 😂

See this way of thinking has actually landed me in a pretty bad place with my mental health.

"I'm in charge of my own emotions" is not something an autistic person with rigid lines of thinking should internalise, but I did.

As a result I never gave myself permission to feel negative emotions, because who wants to feel negative about anything if they don't have to?

It seemed so smart and healthy, just be happy, that's what everyone always says about the easy fix to mental health. It was easy too, regardless what was happening around me, if I pictured myself feeling happy, I'd feel happy.

I'm in my 30s and regularly mistake sensations with other sensations (am I tired or do I need to pee? They both cause a headache) and also I think all my negative emotions are skipping my brain entirely and coming out my arse in the form of IBS.

I can't picture myself feeling sad to experience sad because I .....don't remember what sad feels like.

I remember what vomiting feels like, because that's how my body has reacted to "sad" recently.

I can see how it's directly linked to "people are out there shooting CEOs for this, you're next" is threatening, but I dont see how the language of the threat implies that the person saying the threat has any intention to also be the shooter, and not just that they wish and believe that a shooter is out there with this CEO on their hit list.

This, if anything it might clarify a few confusing exchanges we've had in the past, and it will certainly help me be a better friend in the the future.

If I already know you, I know you, I'm choosing to be friends with you because of how you treat me and how you treat others when we hang out together. If I had any problems with that, I wouldn't be friends long enough to hear you tell me about your NPD diagnosis.

Now that said, I've had friends tell me about a diagnosis and it shouldn't change anything, but now that the diagnosis is out in the open they want it to change things and I can't offer that to the friendship, such as compromising on my own boundaries (eg: I had a friend who after explaining their condition asked me to provide tone indicators for everything I say, but I have alexithymia so that was really difficult for me to do and I couldn't adjust my behaviour to meet the new expectations of the friendship, so we faded out of each other's lives, they told people I stopped being friends with them because of their anxiety disorder... No it's because I couldn't meet the changed expectations of the friendship, describing my emotions every minute is hard for me and I choose not to be friends with people who require me to do that for their comfort)

"you people are next" doesn't sound direct to me because "next" for what? Next for a random vigilante to shoot, next to die in general, next to face bad PR?

My interpretation also leaves no room to imply I'll be the one actioning whatever the "next" thing is. I'd use "you're next" in the same use case as "karma will get you" or "the universe will balance out your luck" it's more of a cosmic wish than a rise to action.

People's work preferences are their own, these guys are having fun, good for them.

I always maintained I can't work from home, I was forced to teach via zoom during lock downs and even now my job is hybrid, I teach in person in a shared classroom but I don't have an office, I do all my prep and notes from home. Only I don't. My productivity genuinely dropped when I lost my office.

Then I house sat for a friend who had a home office and I realised I can work from home, just not my home, because it's not set up for work and my head space in my home can't flip to that "productive mode".

So now I go to the local library, which is better than my house but still not as good as an office because it's still distracting.

But it depends on the type of work, I prefer lesson planning alone in quiet peace, I get so much done, but when we're developing community events I love being in our open staff room with laptops out, some of us sitting on the floor, others standing and just shooting ideas around, we always get so much done.

But I've worked in other centres where that level of collaboration and communication wasn't there - we didn't have the right mix of personality types, and a workplace like my current staffroom would be chaos and nothing would get done.

I'm Australian and was always told the cover letter was unnecessary, especially if your CV has a bio.

The cover letter was for additional information not covered by the resume - name dropping the manager at the company you know who inspired you to apply, explaining why it appears your changing industries, justifying "overqualifications", mentioning a personal hobby that's relevant to the industry and isn't technical work experience.

Basically the things you plan to bring up in the interview to wow them, you can introduce them while introducing yourself in a cover letter.

But if your resume lines up with the position description, you don't need a cover letter.

Basically I was told a cover letter is necessary when you're a burnt out nurse or teacher applying to be a cashier at kmart to avoid having your resume immediately thrown out.

That said. I've literally never written one, even as a serial industry hopper. If there's no email address to send my resume too, then the system is too auto for a cover letter and they don't want to read it anyway, if there is an email address, just include a few lines of a short cover letter in the body text of the email before attaching your resume.

In Australia cigarettes are sold behind the counter, all packets are identical brown with plain white text with the brand. You can't smoke them in public, and they're one of the highest taxed products (a 25 pack will easily cost you $50)

And yet we still have a major smoking problem here.

Mostly because of black market fags, $20 illegal import packs, and "vape wars". It's shocking when a tabbaconist shop doesn't get fire bombed by a competing shop.

That said, the tax revenue is nice, if people wanna smoke the rest of the community may as well get something out of it.

Tax the birdie.

This, when I've got a new program or a program has updated I take my time to familiarise myself with it, it takes me more than five minutes because I'm visually impaired and have a learning disability, but it doesn't take that long and I have fun exploring the program without pressure.

But when a program updates the UI the morning I start work and I realise I've got 5 minutes to figure out where everything has moved? It's overwhelming and unfortunately I have a "freeze" response to stress and it took me years of therapy to push through that gut instinct to freeze up and just stare at it feeling like it's too much and I can't.

That said, I do still really struggle to find the button mid-meeting. I can vamp, but I can't vamp while properly searching my screen because with my visual impairment that takes too much concentration, so the result is "okay I'm going to share my screen, but my UI has updated so everyone go refresh your coffees while I hunt down the screen share button" and some helpful person will try to explain where the button is, not understanding that my screen doesn't look like there's because I have adaptive software making things larger.

Though a few times I've logged a ticket to IT saying "I'm sorry, I know the issues exists between keyboard and chair on this one, I can't for the life of me find the print button" and they'll remote into my machine and say "oh, that's because you're enlarged font has pushed half your toolbar off the screen entirely. You're missing a bunch of features" and suddenly it made sense why I felt like my co-workers were more efficient in these programs. Unfortunately they couldn't fix it so I still have to work around only being able to see half the screen of this program they suggested "returning everything to the original aspect ratio and getting better glasses"

My boss seems to think our little 2 man IT department can fix Adobe's bad adaptive UI.

I still feel like the nouns are in the wrong place when I read this.

I'm reading it as "New York cows new York cows bully bully New York cows"

When I want it to read "New York cows bully new York cows" which would be "Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" which isn't enough buffalo.

I have to inset my own "that" to be able to get my head around "Buffalo buffalo (that) Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo"

Yes and no, applying for accommodations is as fun and easy as pulling out your own teeth with a rubber chicken.

It took months to get the paperwork organised and the conversations started around accommodations I needed for my disability, I realised halfway through I had to simplify what I was asking for and just deal with some less than accessible issues because the process of applying for disability accommodations was not accessible and I was getting rejected for simple requests like "can I reserve a seat in the front row because I can't get up the stairs, and I can't get there early because I need to take the service elevator to get to the lecture hall, so I'm always waiting on the security guard"

My teachers knew I had a physical disability and had mobility accommodations, some of them knew that the condition I had also caused a degree of sensory disability, but I had nothing formal on the paperwork about my hearing and vision loss because I was able to self manage with my existing tools.

I didn't need my teachers to do anything differently so I didn't see the point in delaying my education and putting myself through the bureaucratic stress of applying for visual accommodations when I didn't need them to be provided to me from the university itself.

Obviously if I'd gotten a result of "you cheated" I'd immediately get that paperwork in to prove I didn't cheat, my voice over reader just gave me the ChatGPT instructions and I didn't realise it wasn't part of the assignment.... But that could take 3-4 months to finalise the accommodation process once I become aware that there is a genuine need to have that paperwork in place.

Gay lead; when being a stone top just isn't hard enough.

No idea, he lives on the other side of the state and I only see him 3 times a year for his birthday, father's day and Christmas. My brother used to live with him but he spends most of his time with mum now.

I'm certain my dad is getting this rhetoric from social media because he's a lonely and isolated man in his late 60s with no friends outside of his male dominated blue collar job.

But it's not my job to reform him, I don't have the skill set or energy.

He's also not a racist!