This seems interesting, i'll read it fully after work if i don't forget.
Something has me convinced i'm depressed but the only time i ever had the posibility to look for help they sort of just worked me towards the door and cut me off asap.
But they ended up giving me some sort of anti psychotic medication, which definitely allowed me to get back on my feet at the time. (Shit was dark, i fell in a hole with covid, homelessness and unemployment alltogether with my wife and reached a point where i struggled so much i couldn't even get my ass to a job interview).
But i still don't know what the cause of my struggles is, only that they've been around as long as i can remember. Some form of psychotic whatever wouldn't surprise me either looking at my mom and what she did. But from what i know (which isn't a lot obviously) it seems more like depression.
I went to the gym for a couple years and managed to increase my PR's consistently and doubled my bodyweight at the same bf %.
Then i decided i was disciplined enough for a homegym as the gym attracted a crowd of generic fools instead of the old club of bodybuilders and powerlifters....i wasn't disciplined enough.
I really need that: "since i'm already here, might as well go balls to the wall".
My old gym cost about €13, now generic shit gyms cost more than twice as much. I won't be going back at those prices because food and rent also tripled, i don't grow money from a tree or something.
I'm tempted to say: "you do see the same guys i'm seeing?" Doesn't take a lot of charisma, she seems to have caught a bundle of lost souls and used them.
My wife has this, she's incapable of breaking rules.
Let's say her employer to do things a and then b, but then a coworker tells her it's better (in practice) to do it the other way around...she'll get an error and stop functioning at all.
I was told all these scary things about life and always had this: "i'll see it when i get there" attitude. So now i have to spend half my energy dragging my wife along otherwise she'll forget to live life.
I never saw this ad and i tell you it took me until my fourth game before i found out about it...i was mind blown