The way this is written out really irks me.

be kind to the poor pfc, he's paying by the week for seven years for that shitbox.

This truck screams "I just blew my enlistment bonus"
- Small down payment at best.

I would pass the guy and then let him know he was passed by a queer in a fiesta. You know he'd just hate that.

I once got passed by a rainbow-decal prius with the bumper stickers "0-60 eventually" and "you just got passed by a lesbian in a unicorn outfit"
Sure enough when we stopped at the next light, there were two rather lovey-dovey women in the front seat, and the driver was wearing what looked like a unicorn onesie. It was fantastic.
Incidentally, my wife now has a similar unicorn onesie and wears it when we go grocery shopping.
- Now I have to wonder, does she wear a unicorn onesie all the time or does she put it on over her regular street clothes before driving? If the latter, why? Which came first, the sticker or the onesie? If her partner drives the car, is she required to wear the onesie?
- Plot twist, she makes the unicorn onesie and that's her marketing strategy.
Have you heard the one where your fiesta takes adderall?
It turns into a focus.
Not original material but I had to say it
- Haha
  It's true. I had a focus before the fiesta (the dealer actually bought my focus for more than it was worth and traded the fiesta for it; some stock related issue and they were desperate for focuses). They're practically identical vehicles.
- Was this joke found on road dead?
I drive a Prius and have a very long commute which goes through a rather conservative area. My existence inadvertently pisses off so many big truck drivers. I'll never understand why some people need to speed up and pass me immediately after I've passed them. It's not a competition!
- You can make your commute more interesting (and less safe) by adding a very visible rainbow flag
- I don't understand the correlation of having a small penis and simping for big oil, either. 🤷🏻‍♂️
  See it with Teslas, too. It's pretty funny to me that even though Tesla is pretty hated, the people who hate them for good reason don't go around keying them or trying to run them off the road, while the jerk offs who hate them just for being electric are the people who do those things.
Guys like this are fun to bait past a speed trap in a little econobox.
Fiestas are a solid hairdressers car.

I've heard that people who drive a Dodge Ram are most likely to have a DUI on their record.

For real. Might have changed since then though.

Dickheads drive dodge
- Dickheads drive ~~Dodge~~ pickup trucks
I read that too. I think the 2500 model had the highest rate.
- Unless another model has truck balls, which doubles the trucks overall douche-value.
- yeah i heard that from regular car reviews!
People who make poor life choices are more likely to make other poor life choices.
It was BMW drivers, rams were a close second to Tesla in driving incidents and highest overall combined incidents and dui.
- Saw that recently as well. Wondering if the stats are US versus the world. BMWs just don't seem common enough in the US to hold the top spot. Unless every driver is constantly tanked at all times.
https://aacriminallaw.com/the-most-common-vehicles-for-drunk-driving-arrests/
Still the same, up there with BMW

There used to be a community for this on the website that shall not be named. “Don’t Dead Open Inside” I think?

There's here too! !dontdeadopeninside@lemmy.ohaa.xyz
- The fuck is ohaa.xyz?

Serious "you will address me by my husband's rank" energy here

Is this a thing? Lol that's so depressing.
- they're called dependas and yes very much a thing
- Dependas be like that.

Any soldier of worth I’ve ever known, …any true soldier, wouldn’t advertise their profession as such.

Wannabe.

Nothing more.

This screams boot to me, lol. I bet you they financed it at something ridiculous too.
Is there an r/JustBootThings on Lemmy or Kbin? Some of the shit on there was hilarious.
- I said the same thing. My ex-husband was military (though not boot at all) and you could absolutely find this truck in the px parking lot. Probably driven by a 20 year old with a kid and a pregnant wife who goes shopping off base in his uniform solely so people will thank him for his service.
- Boot?
- Nothing worse than a moto ass boot.
  100% he's a POG too
wanna bet he's a 92f or some shit?
maybe a 74a who's huffed too much ojt
No true Scotsman...
And the Ares is quotes, blegh.
Eh, a lot of us did stupid stuff like put a CIB sticker on or something. This is a whole 'nother level.
Exactly. Most actual soldiers would say Marine, etc. rarely use soldier.
- Unless they are in the Army. Then they would rightfully call themselves a soldier. Soldier, Airman, Marine, Seaman, Guardian and Spacie. I guess not sure on the last one

I bet it's financed ar 29.9%

By a private who graduated basic in the last 30 days.

Don't dead open inside

You just By A Driving

Got

Passed Soldier A Hemi

Ares

Apparently one who isn't literate either.

People who treat driving as some kind of competition should have their license permanently revoked.

sad race car noises
- The price is wrong sound, but in fart muffler tones.
When I’m driving all day, I try as hard as possible to forget who passes me and who I pass. This little kid in my mind is like “pay attention, lars, don’t let them get there first!”. It’s gross.
I kinda do but the only one im competeing with is myself and the shitty dirt "road" I decided to drive on.

Imagine being a soldier and still having something to prove on the freeway

Dishonorable discharge

I'm speeding, I kill people for the government, and my engine has hemispherical combustion chambers!

You, just by a driving, got passed. Soldier, a hemi!!

Hope I'm not the only one trying to put these words to Smooth Criminal.
You just got passed by, you just got hit by, a soldier in a hemi!

The fuck is a hemi?

A Hemi indicates the top of the combustion chamber has a Hemispherical shape, rather than the typical frying pan type shape.
The increased size of the chamber means additional fuel and air can be introduced, which increases power output.
It's old tech like carburetors. It's wasteful on fuel, but MOPAR fans love it.
An old-fashioned engine design.
It's the engine in the truck. It's a Chrysler V8.
The car I think
It's something rednecks will ask other rednecks about whether they have one or not. If you see that sticker, there is about a 30 percent chance that the driver of the vehicle is drunk.

Wow, he's got TWO things to base his whole personality on. What a complex, nuanced existence he must lead. 🙄

And here I am with like 10 hobbies and unable to keep up with them. I still find myself unable to communicate with others though as my hobbies are niche and not the norm for most people.
- I wouldn't recommend using vinyl lettering on a RAM as your method of communication. Try a makerspace, they're wonderfully wide-ranging in terms of hobbies and interests.
But also he's passin people. Getting ahead!!

These kinda folks look the best when they crawl away unharmed from the twisted pile of useless scrap that used to be that truck

obligatory: "you just got by a driving passed soldier a hemi"

Dont dead open inside

It's more of a crappy design than mildly infuriating

But can’t crappy design be mildly infuriating

Round here we call this “micro-penis syndrome”, the urge to tell everyone that this is how they are compensating for possessing what they believe to be tiny penis.

Smaller penises get way harder, they have their own charm.
- It’s their perception. For all we know they are average size. Penis is being used as a euphemism for masculinity. The point being, these types of signs are pure posturing, “proving” that they are the “alpha male”.
Omg that’s soooo original
- Another prime example

You just got passed by a soldier in debt up to his eyeballs.

Just Boot Things...

Pardon my ignorance but is driving a Hemi a "good" thing or a "bad" thing and thus an insult to be passed by?

Dudes that say “hemi” still are stuck in the past and stupid. I say this as someone who owns and drives a Ram 2500 “Hemi” (don’t worry, no DUIs). It’s a marketing term at this point that dumb grunts (and I don’t just mean in the military) buy into because they feel special. It’s like dudes that say they drive a Cummins or Power Stroke (yes all of these are as erotic as they sound). It’s an engine. At the end of the day it’s kind of a crappy one too. Most Dodge Hemi’s have what’s known as Hemi-tick that is this sort of constant clicking on idle, they’re incredibly inefficient, they make mediocre power compared to their competition and the reliability on them is questionable at best. Overall good maintenance will keep these motors working fine and running for a long time, but the paint on every Ram will fade and chip, the clear coat will crap out, and the interior will eventually start to rattle and fall apart faster than the competition. 10/10 vehicles.
- Why did you buy the Hemi if you think it's bullshit?
A Hemi engine has a hemispherical dome, which was a new design that increased efficiency and power output over others, in 1901.
Chrysler popularized the term for their engines in the 1950's, and the name has a positive image in some circles because Chrysler-built Hemi engines were used in WW2 fighter planes and NASCAR racecars.
- Also to note, Chrysler just keeps the name HEMI. Modern ones aren’t actually hemispherical.
It's supposed to be a good thing. I don't get the context of the stickers either unless it's just supposed to be a useless explanation of the situation.
- It’s supposed to be a good thing
  What part of it is good in any way?
  Guy's in the military: yeah war. Yeehaw...
  He's proud to drive a gas guzzling truck
It's a V8 engine with a massive bore. It's fast and powerful. Being passed by one isn't really an insult. It's like "okay, I'm driving a corolla and a V8 just passed me, this is to be expected."
Hemi basically translates to a powerful engine. Purchased by certain people.

Don't on tread me

What is the point of that?

It's the new truck nutz.
He's compensating for his poor self image.
- Don't you put the noble truck nuts and this man in the same category, thanks
The spacing or the stickers? The spacing maybe so he can see out the back of that window

Why is he so obsessed with God Of War 2005?

Somebody come get your private.

Am I having a stroke? Did someone just turn words into a bioweapon?

Mass murder by words.
COGNITO HAZARD WARNING
- Oh shit, someone needs to write this up as an SCP that's so dumb it breaks minds lmao

Many veterans suffer from traumatic brain injury. It's not nice to make fun of them. Tho' it is just a little amusing.

You just got killed by a Daewoo Lanos, motherfucker!

Are's?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ares I think? Don't understand the quotes though.
- It's quoted because it's like courage, but not, I guess. So... This person has no courage I guess?

YOU JUST BY A DRIVING GOT PASSED SOLDIER A HEMI!!!

Of course it’s Texas.

I wonder if this guy served?

They can't even spell arse.

I'm sensing high levels of Big Douchebag Energy

Also, most everyone missed OP's gripe lol. No worries, brah! "Don't dead open inside," I hear ya.

"you just waited patiently at a traffic signal behind a soldier driving a Hemi !!!"

"You just merged onto the freeway behind a soldier driving a Hemi !!!"

"You just momentarily shared a roundabout with a soldier driving a hemi !!!"

"You just got served coffee at a drive through after a soldier driving a Hemi !!!"

"If you happen to be a soldier driving a hemi, that means a soldier driving a hemi is driving behind a soldier driving a hemi !!!"

It also wouldn't be required to provide heat during cold months.

You just by a driving got passed soldier a Hemi!!!

If you think about It Its because you can open the rear window and the text is still readable

Pardon my ignorance, but what is a "hemi" and why should I care if I got passed by it? I believe all veterans deserve respect, but also they should still respect others. I know guys who were in the army that, if they hadn't enlisted, would probably have ended up in prison instead. Meaning, that just because someone has served in the army as a soldier, it doesn't necessarily mean they deserve the highest of all possible praise.

I have family in the military and they're all good people, so I'm not putting down anyone in the military - but I believe there are many other professions that should be getting lots of thanks for their service to the public also.

what is a "hemi"
V8 engines from Chrysler.
why should I care if I got passed by it?
Nobody cares, really.
all veterans deserve respect
They don't but even so, odds are this guy didn't serve in active conflict thus not a war veteran. Joining the arms forces does not make you a war veteran and thus deserving of your respect.
- I would argue that they deserve less respect that no veterans. Imagine being so stupid that you join a war crime force.
service to the public
Dear fucking god, service? What fucking service? 😂😂
Wasting trillions of dollars to destabilise the entire fucking planet? 😂😂😂
Hemi is the Maori equivalent of the name James.

'Murica. We got them brains!

Ignoring the content of the words, they probably spaced it out like that so they could still see out the rear view mirror.

All I see is "my wife has a cricket"

What an immensely gay fucking thing to plaster on your window.

Please don't associate my community with that. I don't want to be compared to the soldier who would put that on their truck.