Permanent ban on last day with Apollo app. Called u/Spez a cunt in a message 😂
Permanent ban on last day with Apollo app. Called u/Spez a cunt in a message 😂
64 comments
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On a fine Monday morning, Steve Huffman, known colloquially as Spez, awoke from his gold-threaded sheets in his penthouse, sipping on his ethically questionable yet preposterously expensive civet coffee. He looked out his windows, the horizon offering the perfect view of his kingdom, his creation, his Reddit.
Having decided to raise the cost of API use to levels that would make a NASA engineer's jaw drop, Spez had embarked on a mission to squelch third-party apps, steering users towards the official (albeit buggy) Reddit app. He chuckled to himself, confident that his plot was as foolproof as an uncrackable safe.
Little did he know, the storm was brewing.
As he logged on, dressed in his favorite power suit, he noticed the eerie silence. Subreddits, once buzzing hives of memes, jokes, and shower thoughts, were now as barren as the surface of Mars. The once-mighty r/AskReddit, now reduced to a ghost town, echoed with digital tumbleweeds.
Confused, he navigated to r/pics. The screen loaded and his eyes were met with an endless scroll of buttholes, every variety, shape, and color imaginable. His newly nanobot-manicured eyebrows knitted together in bewilderment.
“Must be a new meme trend,” he said, shrugging it off.
He then moved to r/science, a bastion of intellect and reason, only to find NSFW content occupying every single thread. The Higgs boson was being discussed in a manner Einstein could never have predicted.
“What in the name of...?” He blinked, checking whether he was still on Reddit and not some obscure corner of the dark web.
He decided to investigate, opening his mailbox. "Surely my loyal subjects will inform me what's going on," he mused.
And inform they did. His inbox was flooded with messages, each more colorful than the last. "Spez, you're a legend!" one began, before ending with a plot twist, "...at being a daft cunt."
"Has everyone lost their minds?" he wondered, failing to connect the dots.
He banished anyone who dared cross him, banning his way through his subjects like a monarch with an itchy trigger finger.
As the day wore on, Spez grew restless. His grand plan was not unfolding as expected. But, in his characteristic arrogance, he was certain that the chaos would soon subside and he would ascend as the one true app lord.
In his plush office, surrounded by screens showing falling Reddit stocks, he clutched a crystal ball he bought from a New Age store, whispering, “Soon, my Reddit will be worth billions…” The crystal ball, deciding it had enough, promptly rolled off his desk and shattered on the Italian marble floor.
In the end, a day that began with grand ambitions ended with a lonely billionaire, surrounded by pictures of buttholes, an inbox full of profanity, a shattered crystal ball, and a kingdom in chaos.
Unbeknownst to him, the Reddit community reveled in their rebellion. They might not have won the war yet, but oh, how they celebrated the battles. As the moon replaced the sun, one phrase echoed throughout the kingdom of Reddit, repeated in posts and comments, whispered in DMs, etched into the heart of the rebellion,
"Fuck Spez."
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Any ongoing crowdfunding for your upcoming book? Give me a link please? You got me interested. Anything published already?
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This is now canon.
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Let’s sing all together:
Well Spez is a cunt, he's a big fat cunt, He's the biggest cunt in the whole wide world. He’s a stupid cunt, if there ever was a cunt, He's a cunt to all the boys and girls.
On Monday, he's a cunt, On Tuesday, he's a cunt, On Wednesday though Saturday, he's a cunt, Then on Sunday, just to be different, He's a super King Kamehameha Cunt.
Have you ever met Reddits Spez? He's the biggest cunt in the whole wide world, (La-la-la-la-la-la-la) He's a mean ol' cunt and he has wangy eyes, He's a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.
Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, He's a stupid cunt! (Woah!)! Reddits Spez is a cunt, And he's such a dirty cunt! (Cunt!)!
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I really mean it, that Spez, he's a real big fuckin' cunt, big ol' fat fuckin' cunt, u/spez! Yeah, cha!
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This is pure, artistic and linguistical gold. Bravo!
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This is a masterpiece
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You use your words prettier than a $20 whore.
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"an endless scroll of buttholes"
art
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I need this entire comment printed out and framed. Its composure is truly artistic!
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I’m actually proud of this and might frame it for my office 🤣
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I'd be thrilled to know I personally offended a CEO
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You should. I printed out a screenshot when I got blocked by Rudy Giuliani on Twitter lol
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As you should be. This is my first comment here and fuck spez, the greedy cunt.
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Wait a minute, why does Reddit call it a ban? Normally, account bans are called suspensions unless it's a shadowban. I got one for abusing the report button, and they called it a ban. Why is Reddit mixing these terms? It doesn't even make sense at all.
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Claim you're Australian, and live in NSW.
Show that it is your constitutional right to call any leader a cunt
https://nswcourts.com.au/articles/court-rules-its-ok-to-refer-to-tony-abbott-as-a-ct/
Sue Reddit
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To be fair, Tony Abbott is actually a total cunt, so the case result was always going to be.
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https://www.youtube.com/shorts/qmmdH5vcnKw
EDIT that was the wrong one:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nLz6MPCoNUE
These are to be used contextually obviously.
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I'm pretty sure he was a laughing stock across the world when he was in.
Then US one upped us.
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called /u/Spez a cunt
This is inaccurate, /u/Spez lacks warmth and depth and has never given anyone pleasure.
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please tell me you did this AFTER systematically devaluing your years of submitted content?
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Yep. 👍🏻
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I tagged him in messages for a few days calling him a cunt but never got banned. I guess DM was the thing to make it be effective?
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Admins, or at least him, don't get notified when you tag them
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Good. Fuck u/spez — that little cunt
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I edited all my comments to Fuck u/spez and deleted them and then deleted my account. They ruined a decent thing.
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Same, then they perma-IP banned all of my accounts, lmao.
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FYI, they go beyond IP and use browser fingerprinting to ban all your accounts.
There's also a hilarious bug in reddit logic that can let you ban innocent users this way :3
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That’s what happens when the CEO starts taking advice from Elon Musk on how to run a social media company.
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I hope you did all this behind a good ad blocker/DNS filter or else you just increased engagement with the site and potentially their ad delivery network. They also collect the analytics, think advertisers won't pay for metadata related to a cohort of users mass exodusing? I love the decentralized setup here, this is really cool. Let's get more time and engagement here instead and stop providing our data to Predditers.
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The only time I don’t use an adblocker is on my work computer because they are so locked down. If I have to go there again I’ll use a VPN just to fuck with their engagement.
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Should definitely be banned for not using an apostrophe.
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Glad to see my permanent ban for reporting one fucking Fox News post on politics for blatant climate change denialism is on level with this. For using the report function to bully/harrass ffs. Laughable!
Place was becoming a shitehole months before these API changes anyway.
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Rabbits
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Jesus christ
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Surprises me that you get banned for it but whenever someone else call another person that - they get away with either a warning or nothing happens. Lol.
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Must be a fun place to work 🙄
Sucks because it used to be an awesome job I bet
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No, they talked about it, it was brutal, they were overworked for a good while, then when the money came in they went dumb corporate.
There was a while where they said the stress felt like it was worth it then everything fell apart, this was around when pao was in charge and the ama lady got fired.
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That sounds about right, it's been coasting on the momentum from past glories since then, and we were protected from the worst of it by third party apps and good mods and communities in smaller subreddits. Both things they're now ripping apart. Curious to check Reddit again in a couple years and witness just how bad it got.
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With a bang
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Totally worth it!
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Like 3 days ago I got a site wide ban for posting a picture of the comments spez altered on TheDonald like 4 years ago. Reddit has gone downhill ever since Pao got the CEO title and has only gotten worse under spez.
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do you happen to have a link for that image? would love to post it myself 😅
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Pao was hired to do a specific job, she did it, and then she was sacrificed. She was 100% a scapegoat.
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This is like when Johnny Sack had to unexpectedly return home to retrieve his sweater he forgot only to find Ginny Sack gorging herself on her hidden stash of snacks and candy while she was supposed to be on a diet.
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honestly not a fan of people being treated like this
64 comments
Not sure I'm fully onboard with this to be honest.
I mean, we're all adults living in a civilised society and you missed an apostrophe, it should have been "you're a cunt", not youre.
We all know better for next time ;-)
Facts.
Facts.