They'll get you when you least expect it.

“While Kentucky doesn't have an ocean, it does have aquariums. In 2006, at least 12 people at Kentucky's Newport Aquarium were bitten by sharks while at an exhibit that allows visitors to touch the animals”

Keep in mind that this aquarium is just across the river from the zoo where parents let their kids fall into the gorilla exhibits.

HARAMBE!!!!!
Is this an example of American exceptionalism?
- Yes
And yet it's an awesome aquarium and I highly recommend it. Including the 'touch a shark' part.
- It was surprising how sandpaper-ish they feel.

They swim up the Mississipi

People don't realize that Mississippi is an acronym and all of the s's are for 'shark.'
- Most
  Inland
  Sharks go
  Sharking
  Incessantly.
  Sharks
  Shark
  In
  Parts of
  Places
  Inconceivable
bull sharks are the only ones that go that far north right? they can maintain the salinity around them or some cool shit like that
- pretty sure they're just the only shark that handles freshwater
That doesn’t explain New Mexico though.
- It was a diver feeding sand sharks at an aquarium.
- The Rio Grande connects New Mexico to the Gulf of Mexico. Sharks can swim against the current.
Yeah, this post shows how little Lemmiers understand about basic geography 🙄🙄
- https://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/2-bull-sharks-swam-up-mississippi-river-to-st-louis-study-finds

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/outreach.png

This is shockingly relevant
- sharkingly*
- Definitely.
  I also want to get the last 3 frames printed on a t-shirt. I have a young daughter, and it amuses me even more since that happened.
I can suspend my disbelief to a point but I have just one question.
Where did the helium come from?
- Electrolysis and then nuclear fusion.
- SCIENCE!

NEW MEXICO?!?!?

It's hilariously stupid. In 2005 one dude was cleaning an aquarium's shark tank and cut his arm on a passing shark.
https://sourcenm.com/2021/10/15/new-mexicos-shark-attack/
Still counts.
- How does one cut one's arm on a passing shark? Sharks are smooth as can be.
  Edit: Never mind just read the article and he cut his arm on a tooth while the shark swam past open-mouthed.
- I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah (had a shark attack)
- oh no i just released Kentucky too THE SHARKNADOES ARE COMING

Non-midwesterners: surprised

Midwesterners who've had a fear of bull sharks since their friend told them about them when they were 5: see I knew it could happen

My childhood nightmares of encountering a shark in a hotel pool can actually happen

Bull sharks yo

Could it be loan sharks?

Ah, the elusive lank-shark!

Okay, but New Mexico??? We barely have lakes here!

https://sourcenm.com/2021/10/15/new-mexicos-shark-attack/
- You rock! I'm spreading that information like gospel to everyone I talk to this week!

Sharknado motherfucker

flying in the air sharks

now that's some kind of horror

Sharks Georg, who lives in Missouri with his shark collection, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

Could it be a zoo? No, that would be too easy

Flying street sharks are more likely
- True, there are more streets than zoos
Bull sharks can swim up freshwater rivers. In this case, the Mississippi for the central US.
I would guess Rio Grande for New Mexico.
- New Mexico's incident was actually in an aquarium, a commenter above posted a link.

The chances of a shark attacking you on dry land are low but never zero!

That's just basic quantum physics.

OP probably: "What's that squiggly line between these landlocked states? Probably not important."

Just realized New York has a lot of shark attacks unless you're taking about loan sharks where the fuck do you get attacked by a shark in the toxic wasteland that is the entire state every water source is a pond full of garbage and other stuff you really don't want to touch

NM, IL, KY, PA?

I remember reading the NM one happened in a aquarium, but it is still counted. Bull sharks do travel up the Mississippi River and tributaries and have been reported in IL.

THERE'S A SHARK IN THE BATHTUB

Washington State? Aren’t our waters too cold and with the seafloors all barren wastelands except a few kelp forests that somehow exist despite only getting sunlight for 4 months a year?

There are great whites that have been spotted up off the northern coast of Vancouver Island in BC when the currents are right. I don't know about attacks, but the possibility is there.

🎤🎤 Scary flying shark, scary flying shark, Careful you, he's out hunting in the dark 🎤🎤

freshwater shark?