The original series has an endearing flair for the dramatic

This is such a fucking accurate take. Endearing is definitely the best way to phrase it. Who doesn't love a good ol' giant green hand grabbing the ship like a fuckin frisbee?

And it's the god Apollo, of all things... Haha
- I mean... who else would it be? Da Vinci as an immortal being? Hahaha...hah..ha...
As campy as that was, even for the crew, I have to think what Spock might say: "Certainly odd, and yet it still has our ship captured." I still love that episode. As a kid the idea of gods being "just" alien visitors far beyond our understanding was genius, and as an adult understanding the much darker side of it that I didn't get as a kid (why Lt. Carolyn Palamas came back to the end scene looking all battered).
- Yeah Stargate was a pretty good show.
And telepathic planet devouring Chihuahuas in a lion costume

Gene Roddenberry was a horny bastard.

I'd go as far as to say "If Gene Roddenberry wasn't such a horny bastard, we'd all be talking about Logan's Run or something.
- Completely agree. Imagine if he got his way when designing the Ferengi. Whenever they're on screen, huge bulge takes up most of the screen.

Similar to how TOS movies have sentences for titles and TNG movies have mostly single words.

...then the Kelvin movies forced the use of Trek as a verb.

Wait... So it's Star: Trek Into Darkness and Star: Trek Beyond?? That makes so much sense
What are you talking about? They didn't make any TNG movies. I get how you could get mixed up, though, because it was a tragically wasted opportunity, just like how they only ever made three Indiana Jones movies and then stopped forever.
- Interesting. I legit thought First Contact was excellent. I've gotten multiple people into Star Trek using that film as the gateway.
  There was a family of the most normal people you can imagine and I showed that film to my friend, their eldest son. The next thing I know they have a cat named Tuvok and are dressing up like away teams for Halloween. It was awesome.
- And some movies are fine the way it is. Like how The Matrix just stands on its own and never had any sequels.
- They did do that long episode with a bigger budget about the guys with bad facelifts. It was kinda like a movie.
- Good thing they ended Back to the Future with a paradox, thus ensuring there could never be any sequels.
- I can't ignore the TNG movies when they gave us scenes like Data hating a drink and asking for more.

To be fair, TNG has "the light within" which is a very dramatic title that doesn't tell you much about the episode. If it followed the formula described here it would be like "flute" or "flash" or "in another life"

Isn't it called The Inner Light, which does somewhat describe Picard's situation.
- Ah you're right. Thats what I get for just going from my dumb memory.

Hey, Disaster was a good episode. About a disaster.

The Inner Light is about that time Picard caught COVID and got sucked into alternative treatment methods via alt-light holodeck programs.

Like... stormlight?
teehee
- Voidlight

Meanwhile ds9 episodes are called "Tango" which has nothing to do with the episode, which is about two people beating the shit out each other for 5 years or something and is widely regarded as one of the best episodes in the show.