White to move and mate in... uhh... how did we get here?

Knight to d5. Fork the king and queen (youre welcome)

Middle eastern conflict on a chess board.

ChatGPT's games be like

I've often wondered if it's always possible to tell whether any arbitrary boardstate is possible, and I came up with a few easy ways to tell how the board can't be legal without verifying that no set of moves can lead to it. Can you spot every illegality?

White has pawns on the first rank (a1 & b1).
White has an unpromoted pawn on the eighth rank (h8).
Black has an unpromoted pawn on the first rank (h1).
White has three bishops (c1, f1, & d4) while no pawns have promoted.
Black has two dark-squared bishops (h4 & f8) while no pawns have promoted.
The black and white kings are touching each other.
The black king is being attacked but it's white to play.
- I have since updated it to include one more illegality. Hint, the b pawn is no longer on the first rank.
  Side note, I love that I can update the link in my post here, I spotted that last illegality after I initially posted and was incredibly disappointed in myself for forgetting it at first
The ones I have: touching kings (and so many checks on the black king even though it's not his move), pawns on the first/last rank, 3 bishops even though no pawns have left the board
Edit: the h pawns passed each other
2 black bishops on black tiles
- Couldn't you accomplish that with promoting a pawn?
I see two pawns on the last rank but not promoted, black has same coloured bishops
- I couldn't think of any way to have a knight in an impossible position. I do have one impossible rook, because I updated the link after you left this comment
I'm no expert, but the fact black is in check from the previous move means it can't be whites turn. And it looks like check mate