5d ago

poor jeremy

33 comments

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_(snail)
these two snails mated with each other instead, producing 170 right-coiled snails. One of the left-coiled snails later mated with Jeremy, producing 56 offspring, all of which also had right-coiling shells.
they also omitted this crucial detail:
Jeremy was named after the left-wing British Labour politician Jeremy Corbyn, on account of it being a "lefty" snail, but also due to Corbyn's reported love of gardening.
- Oh, to live in a polycule of 173 left leaning snails
- You can't love gardening and snails, they're opposing forces
A perfect origin story of a villain.
Jeremy then goes on a crime spree, but he was caught early on because he is a snail… with a left-coiled shell. The shell prints at the crime scenes helped narrow it down to him instantly.
- Jeremy and their other two potential partners. But these two have an alibi. Seems like they had a shell of a time (⁠⌐⁠■⁠-⁠■⁠)
  
  Take all of your things and get out.
- In shell
  Drawing pictures
  Of fence tops
  With him on top
  Lemon yellow sun
  Eyestalks raised in a V
  The dead lay in pools of pale blue below
  Scientists tried to give attention
  To the fact that his shell turned left
  Snail Jeremy the Wicked
  Ruled his world, but
  Jeremy didn't get laid today
  Jeremy didn't get laid today
  Clearly I remember
  Pickin' on the boy
  Seemed a harmless little mollusc
  Oh, but we unleashed a hedgehog
  Gnashed his radula
  Shot darts at mantles
  How could I forget
  He hit me with a surprise bump
  My shell left hurtin'
  Oh, tipped right over
  Just like the day
  Like the day I heard
  Scientists tried to give affection
  But the boy was something the others wouldn't mate
  Snail Jeremy the Wicked
  Ruled his world
  Jeremy didn't get laid today
  Jeremy didn't get laid today
  Jeremy didn't get laid today
  Try to forget this... (try to forget this)
  Try to erase this... (try to erase this)
  From the postdoc paper
  Jeremy didn't get laid today
  Jeremy didn't get laid today
  
  Perfection!
- Perfect candidate for the immortal snail that would be out to get you.
  With the decoy snail sidekick of course.
- Jeremy the incel in shell
Why cant they just have a love triangle
- Based on a source from another comment, they kinda did.
- yeah can snails only have sex once?
- i don't think they'd like performing in front of an audience. it's hard, you see, for a snail to come out of its shell.
And thus was born the tragic song lyric, "Jeremy spoke in class today."
I thought this was me_irl for a moment
- me_irsnail
- You lean to the left?
  
  I was referring to everyone compatible with me mating with each other not me ..
  BUT coincidentally I do.
  
  Everything you own in the box to the left...
fuckyouinparticular
- *anyone else
Story of my life
Fuck Jerry
- Jerry?
  
  Oh is Jerry short for Jerrothon? Jertholomew? Margaret?
This is one Jeremy who didn't hit it with a surprise left...
me_irl
Ooh, Jezzer! Oh, the drinking we could've done together afterwards!

33 comments