All downhill from there

Imagine being hunted and killed by a team of power walkers.

The predators:
- You know, this is actually the type of fear that the zombie horror genre really reverses back on us. Classic zombies are not fast. They're not smart. They can't run, climb, or plan elaborate traps. They have no sharp claws or terrifyingly large teeth. You can outrun them at a brisk walk.
  But what makes them so dangerous is that they're relentless. If they get your scent, they'll follow you and keep following you. Blow their legs off and they'll crawl towards you. Remove all their limbs and they'll slither like a snake towards you. Only destroying their brain can stop them.
  If you're on foot, it is virtually impossible to escape them, as they'll just keep on coming. And while you need to sleep, they don't. They can just keep right on shuffling towards you 24/7. If on foot being chased by a zombie, your best bet is probably to find a river you can swim across that will sweep them away. Oh, and of course, they are rarely alone.
  Zombies are predators that turn our species's natural hunting strategy back upon us.

Pursuit predation/persistence hunting has to be one of the most metal characteristics about humans.

https://ourworldindata.org/quaternary-megafauna-extinction
The timing of megafauna extinctions was not consistent across the world; instead, the timing of their demise coincided closely with the arrival of humans on each continent.
¯(ツ)_/¯
- You're missing a .
  There have been many extinction events in Earth’s history. There have been five big mass extinction events and several smaller ones.
  There have now been many studies focused on the question of whether humans were a key driver of the QME. Many suggest that the answer is yes. Climatic changes might have driven an initial decline in large mammal populations — small population crashes — but human pressures are likely to have thwarted their recovery. Large mammals survived previous periods of climatic change, but the arrival of humans put pressure on already-depleted populations.
Also our accuracy and reach when throwing stuff.
Especially when combined with our ability to make stuff sharp by banging it against other stuff and breaking it just the right way.
- And THEN add to that that once you got hit with the spear and are running slower, a wolf just appears and starts hunting you too.
  Imagine being hunted by 2 different apex predators working together
- Atlanta!!! Here's a random video i haven't watched about it. The Atlanta doubles your spear throwing range https://youtu.be/YT_s1CEAhkA
That would be a terrifying way to die.
Wasn't that the premise of the Slenderman video game?
- get with the times, gramps, its all about the backrooms now
What I never got about this theory is, fine, you run after the Ptadgedrwgydon for 87kms, when it gives up due to exhaustion and you kill it with a stone. What now? You're 87kms away with a carcass that weighs 500kg, how do you get back the food to the tribe?
- The tribe can walk.
- This is how we learned to be nomads. Kill big thing, bring camp to big thing, hang out until big thing is all eaten.
- This is how Komodo Dragons hunt, too.
- Group hunting for mega-fauna. Partial field-processing of remains, beyond a dressing.
  idk, moose hunters might still. Is there a moose hunter at the forum today..?
- That's probably part of the reason why the evidence of persistence hunting being used as an actual hunting technique, compared to ambush hunting or trapping is incredibly slim. And that's the reason why there's really no scientific consensus that persistence hunting was a major thing at all.
- I figured they chased them in a big circle. Or did laps. Or anything other than a completely straight line.

Humans' ability to sweat is something outstanding.

That what I keep saying, but people still seem thoroughly unimpressed by my ability to sweat profusely the moment I get a little hot!
- Interviewer: What would you say is your biggest strength?
  Me:
- Sweating is such a powerful ability for humans when compared to the animal kingdom. I mean, not only does my sweat keep me cool, I can clear out an entire room with it if it's a little too hot!
- It's just that we're so powerful, we need the extra cooling!
The other advantage we have while running is that we're not constantly slamming our intestines into our other vital organs and lungs because we're upright.
Humans can out-distance a horse. A fucking HORSE. Incredible animal the oul' human.
- Humans can out-distance a horse
  Speak for yourself, I cannot out distance a hamster lately.
- Is that really a limiting factor for animals that are not upright? They have to stop going because their intestines slam into other vital organs, and they need a break, lest they get damaged?

I was playing tag with my kid yesterday. He's 3, almost 4. He's very fast for his age, but not as fast as me. He asked to play tag because he just learned it in school. I could dodge to the side as he was getting close and change direction. I could fake him out. I could sprint to the other side of our 1 acre meadow to creat space. But he just kept coming. Smiling and laughing the whole time. I'm starting to get winded. Hands on my knees for a second after a sprint, but only for a second as he's closed the gap already. His undeterred motivation and pace was scary. He was going to get me eventually, and he seemed to know it.

I now know how the victims of Chucky must have felt.

Persistence predation is the only way I can manage to take my cats to the vet.

Did you try just picking them up and having a towel or blanket underneath in case they want to dig their claws into something, and hand in their shoulders in case they try to escape? That's what Ive done for years and it is so much less stressful on everyone involved.
- The problem is getting a hold of them in the first place. They just bolt from one hiding place to another, and I say "hiding place" but they're not as much "hidden" as "hard to reach when you are a human-sized human". The only reason I eventually manage to catch them is that ambush predators get tired quicker than persistence predators.

We are the snail

Fun fact: the guy who first proposed this "running man" hypothesis about persistence hunting in the late 1960s (Grover Krantz) was better known as a staunch advocate for the existence of Bigfoot. Personally, I can't believe that anybody could still believe in Bigfoot - it's so obviously just a Yeti in a gorilla suit.

For some weird reason, Krantz's skeleton and that of his favorite dog are on display at the Smithsonian.

The father of modern day physics changed course and started studying alchemy, chronology, biblical interpretation, losing himself to mysticism. He'd probably research big foot if he was alive as well. That doesn't mean I'm going to dismiss his real magnum opus
- Contrary to modern-day physics, the "persistence hunting" thing is very much not a scientific consensus. It's more of a fringe idea supported by hardly any science that somehow made it into popular science.
  There's about as much credible evidence to that theory as there is to the theory that eating chocolate helps with losing weight.
- who's that? Leibnitz? not Newton?

isnt this a diprotodon, which is the largest marsupial in australia, in the vombatiforms.

For some reason I read that as vomitiform (I bet I know how they fought)
- It just means wombat-shaped, the w was changed to v in a half-arsed effort to Latinise it (despite -form coming from Greek anyway).
- For some reason I read that as vimitiforum.
  That place either has some heavy science discussion or some heavy kink discussion. Or maybe por que no los dos?

That thing does look pretty tasty.

its a diprodont, which related to a womat, it is the largest marsupial to ever live, like 5000lbs.
- 5k lbs? Probably not all that tasty but it's going to feed all of us for a major feast weekend!

Inside you there are two snails...

Only thing to do now is turn around and chomp 'em!