Is this not how lumber is measured in other countries?

It's the measurement that you use when you need to account for shrinkage.

The house only has like 1/3 of its square footage during the winter months.
- What happens to houses with pools?

Finding the reference dick is the real problem.

Eh it was probably the same king with a abnormally large foot but who knows maybe his feet are compensating for something
- You know what they say about guys with large feet...
  .
  .
  .
  .
  They must be compensating for something.
Banana for scale?

In a row?

And she still wasn't done...
Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot.
Came here for the Clerk's reference

What measurement did they use for one? The average or "the average"?

They measured from the stump
- Make sure to get to the roots!

Well...a foot is a measurement so it makes sense to use other body parts, right?

Length is two feet, three dicks and a pussy. Anyone could measure that way and it would be a world standard.

It always irks me when people think using foot as measurement was invented in England when they were used all over the world since the beginning of time. And different countries had different sized standard feet
Old Slavic customary measurements had "foot", but also "palm" and "elbow" (roughly forearm length), as well as some less obvious body part based measurements
- https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elle_(Einheit)
  The Elle / Yard / Forearm is one of the oldest and most common ways of measurement

Problem is if a man drafted something dimensioned in dicks then handed it off to a woman to build it, you'd end up with a Spinal Tap Stonehenge situation.

Why are the women not using their OSHA approved strap-ons to measure?

Awful system, they're always giving me much less than I expect.

Hey, it was just cold in the warehouse.

If the foot measurement is supposedly based on King Henry I, who's dick is this? 👀

More like 121 amirite?

So I'm guessing its 240000 dicks to build a house?

I just replace miles with dicks because mines the same size

That sounds... Inconvenient.
- Not really, I always have a measuring stick on me!
My condolences for your too long schlong.

Is this a personalised measurement? Like do you have to slap your dick on the table and then go "300 dicks of wood please"

You have to if you don't want to get shortchanged.

I had this shower thought lately, that imperial measurements is how the USA still is partly colonized by the British empire. It's in the name.

The British themselves are slowly phasing it out, but the Americans still sick to their guns.

We were going to switch to metric, but our 1kg weight got stolen by pirates.
USA uses US customary units
- Which were based on the imperial system
the Americans still stick to their guns.
As we like to do, partner.
- I read that in the voice of the engineer in tf2

It was the style at the time

If you're measuring something in dicks and you're in Europe, multiply by 0.75 to convert

Bro did they dirty 💀

If you want to really make a European's head explode, ask them how big a 2x4 is

Is it not 2"X4"? Am I naïve?
- It's not. It's 1.5" x 3.5". I don't know the history and wasn't able to find it in a quick search, but lumber sizes are usually a half inch less than the name would imply.
  That only applies to the thickness and width, though. The length of a board should be as described (e.g. a "two by four by eight" would be eight feet long, but have a cross section of 1.5 by 3.5 inches)
- It is when it's first cut. But then it gets dried and planed down.
  https://yewtu.be/watch?v=WaJFudED5FQ
- It’s actually 1.5 by 3.5 because of reasons.
Nominal sizing is not uniquely American any more (if it ever was? Idk honestly). Work with lots of Europeans who are used to it as much as we are.
As a legal requirement we don't specify materials in anything other than mm, cm and m. In the UK the imperial measurements are sometimes also shown in a store, to help old people know what they are buying, but I've never seen that anywhere in continental Europe. Architecture isn't drawn using imperial measurements, this system is used ad hoc by UK builders only. I like to torment these luddites by specifying in mm but mostly I avoid interacting with them because I don't want to have a Mars Climate Orbiter situation at my house.