Trump calls for ‘major investigation’ into Bruce Springsteen

2028 headline: After billions spent over three years the investigation is now closed after finding no evidence of Bruce Springsteen being an illegal immigrant. Turns out that he was in fact born in the USA.

...except, after all that investigating, they realized that "Born In The USA" is not really a patriotic song.
- They would never figure that out with any amount of money.
  Source: YMCA, Fortunate Son
- Those mindless degenerates would never understand that.

Investigating People who HURT YOUR FEELINGS is the VERY DEFINITION of FREEDOM! TRUST me! I'm a REPUBLICAN! We're KNOWN for Words!

The biggest, most beautiful of words. Words youve never even seen before, from the perspective of language

Love this. For years, tax exempt Churches have been praising Donald Trump and his Christofascist cronies. Despite this being forbidden, no one does jack-shit.

And then a few ultra-rich musicians share that they are not 100% on board with Trump’s 2020’s remake of the movie Idiocracy and he’s calling for a “major investigation”?

Someone’s mommy really didn’t love him

We all know Trump is a childish piece of trash, it's just a bummer that like 80 million fucking Americans see it and are like, "yeah this is what we need again."
- Unfortunately the childishness pretty much gets ignored because their Facebook feeds and Faux News blasting t.vs all shout "the Democrats cheat and lie and steal elections! They want communism and everything bad that has ever happened to the US is because of them!!! Donald Trump is always lied about in the MSM, he is our savior! Anyone who says otherwise is lying to you!! Here's a selection of clips of Republican lawmakers doing investigations into Democrats and omitting facts, misleading with facts, and denying the reality of similar context! Be mad at Democrats!!! EGG PRICES!!!"
  So Republicans can say "yeah Trump exaggerates a bit when he talks, but that's his charm! The Democrats would kill us all!"
- and the rest see it and are like "well the end of democracy sure sucks, I hope this post saves us because I can't be bothered doing anything else"
"Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect."
Despite this being forbidden, no one does jack-shit.
The U.S. Constitution is no better than toilet paper now. Thanks conservatives!!!

This guy has to be the whiniest pathetic loser the human species has ever produced.

No wonder conservatives identify with him.

“WHY DID HE ACCEPT THAT MONEY IF HE IS SUCH A FAN OF HERS? ISN’T THAT A MAJOR AND ILLEGAL CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION?"

...does he think Bruce Springsteen was running for office?

Well, he thinks that Mattel is a country and that Abrego Garcia literally has "MS13" tattooed onto his knuckles, so yeah, probably.
When he dies, I hope there's a full autopsy because I really wanna know wtf is going on with his brain. Frontal cortex must have been chewed up and spit out or something.
- It's simple - yeerks from anamorphs are real. We already know about the one in RFK.

So what's he distracting from now?

I can't figure out of the Qatari airplane is real or a distraction...
- I don't give that brain dumb asshole any credit. I don't think he's ever being smart and distracting from things. His old, drugged ass just let's his mind wander this much, while his handlers keep their eyes on the prize.
  I'm guessing this time, he wants his bribe plane, and was accused of accepting corrupt money, so he naturally has to invent the idea that Kamala was taking bribes first

This does not portray strength in any way. Very small hands energy

Fuck your feelings

It's only matter of time when people start falling from windows in US.

Wait until someone tells him what "Born in the USA" and "Born to Run" are really about.

Born in the USA wasn't about tRUMPs wife...

Let me get this straight. Trump thinks a presidential candidate paying someone else to endorse them is a campaign contribution? Illegal or otherwise that's not how that works, that's called advertising.

Well Trump is a Republican after all.

A President who has no love for his country.

Reprehensible

It is so tough because its crazy pants to begin with but given how he does all the stuff he accused others of doing like weaponizing the doj its also scary but then its so nonsensical:

"the president suggested that his 2024 rival Kamala Harris could have paid Springsteen for an “illegal campaign contribution”"

its like which way you think the money is flowing???

Nothing says "small dick" like Trump calling for the government to bully someone who hurt his feels.

Surely attacking the musical embodiment of the working class in New Jersey will be good for the conservatives.....right?
I feel like if he wanted Jersey to file articles of succession all he would have to do at this point is ban pork rolls.
- I hate to be that guy...
  Secession
- New Jersey voted for Biden. Trump would burn the state to the ground if he could.
No shot Jersey was going to go red regardless. Not after Chris Christie, and especially not after the last 4 months.

Boss versus apprentice

And that's how Springsteen 2028 got started...

Springsteen for Prez, Tom Morello for VP, Ken Casey (Dropkick Murphys) for Secretary of Labor
- Yeah, they were born to run :D

In a world where entertainers - ohai Taylor Swift - regularly make songs about things they're worried or disappointed about, I feel harassing people who can regularly get on a mic and speak coherently - let alone rhyme those words into a catchy aural meme - has the potential to go badly.

I further feel that Bruce Springsteen is often part of the listening choice on radios or stereos of many people in the 'red zone' where smart American voting and simple reason usually goes to die, and I worry that he's providing the muse for a hundred great campaign songs for the opposition.

Have you heard of this phenomenon known as Classic Rock? People have been listening to catchy songs for DECADES. Some guy - get this - some guy actually composed a song, like hundreds of years ago, and it's still being played regularly today. It energizes the people, unifies them against a common enemy of the time, and is a great start to so many sporting events that 'play ball' is often thought to be the last line of the song.

This could finally go badly for the Commander in Cheese. Please, if there is a god, I want this to blow up in his face like the cheeto bag before every speaking engagement.

Seems on-brand for Springsteen. Don't know much about him, but "born to run" is a parody of americana basically.

The only solution is a French style revolution

Just making shit up as usual, deranged orange cunt

I'm sorry man but if the boss says you are full of shit, you are full of shit. Investigate away dumbass.

Trump demands loyalty always now.

That was a dumb move. Tons of MAGA Love him.

One of my college friend's FAVORITE musician was the Boss, and she refused to go to his free concert opening for Obama. It was hilarious; she was absolutely torn in half all weekend.
- Such losers... Boomers have truly made an art out of ignoring cognitive dissonance
Not anymore. Their cult leader told them to stop. So they will.

Hahaha! What a weak simpleton

Such an unserious country. JFC.

Yup.
Clown country about to get its comeuppance.
- Yes hopefully. I hope it’s like 1991 in the USSR. The whole place splits up. I also hope their stupid country implodes before they fucking invade Canada. All this talk about “super labs of fentanyl” as a threat to Americans is giving me “mobile underground labs of WMDs” in Iraq vibes. It’s a pretext to invading us.

Free speech is a cancer. Letting artists express opinions contrary to the party line is dangerous. We've always been at war with Eurasia.

If you haven't read 1984 and don't get the sarcasm, shut up.

I'm not sure Trump has the authority to investigate Springsteen. Bruce is The Boss, after all.

investigate deez nuts

I call for Trump to be imprisoned

You are far too compassionate.
- Imprisoned the same way Epstein was.

If he is investigating whether Bruce is born in the USA or not he wrote a song about it…

Are you sure that's not just a cover?
Now that you mentioned it, has anyone ever seen his long form birth certificate??

Of course he does. The truth burns his orange stained skin and Mr. Springsteen speaks truth to criminals.

Has anyone told Trump that Bruce Springsteen hasn't been relevant since before any of his kids were born?