What do you want for Christmas but you probably won't get?

I'd like to skip Christmas, I get nothing out of it but headaches. I don't enjoy the family get togethers (individually or in small groups my family is mostly fine, but all of them at once is too much) I don't want anything that can reasonably be asked for or given as a present, and I don't have any space for the useless junk I'll inevitably receive.

What I need/want is money. I'm not struggling, but I have projects and things I'm saving up for and whatever they'd spend on gifts if they feel like they need to give me something I'd much rather them just give me the cash or Venmo me. They're not going to gift me a new heater, deck, washer/dryer, paint for my living room, etc. the best I can hope for is some gift cards to Lowes, home Depot, etc. and inevitably the cards will all be to different places so I can't even use them all on what they're intended to go towards, and there's a good chance that once I've saved up enough I'll get the best price at a store I don't even have any gift cards for, so they're going to sit around collecting dust because I'll never remember to grab them when I need to go buy a box of screws or something.

Just give me cash.

If they're willing to give gift cards, and you can find a bank that lets you open multiple free accounts for one user, you could name the accounts "new deck for summer get-togethers" and "heater to cosy up inside during winter" and such, and give a list with all the accounts info when people ask for your wish-list.
People would still gift you partial payments, as with gift cards, but would gift towards an item/project rather than lock you into a specific store.
- Most of the time their argument is that they want me to have something physical to open/unwrap, so bank transfers aren't going to be any more attractive to them.

The same touchscreen gloves I got two years ago that are no longer being made. There's three pairs on eBay and if no one buys them for me I'm buying them all for myself.

Find a pair of gloves you love and use Conductive thread sewn in an x pattern a few times. Works great.
Used to be it was hard to find touchscreen gloves. Now most gloves are touchscreen.
- touchscreenis indeed the easy part
  these gloves were so warm for how thin they were, that's what made them special
I really want to know more about these gloves that have inspired this level of dedication but if you tell me about them I'm probably going to go buy them.
- I appreciate the honesty.

Sex. Not gonna happen with the kids at home and houseguests.

What about your spouse/partner? Maybe they'd have sex with you instead?
- Dunno, OP sounds kinda kinky.

Linux market share to grow more

B... But I thought 2025 would be the year of the Linux desktop!

A single family home... it'd sure be nice though.

I don't even care about it being single family, I'll take a nice old row house with glee.

To have my dad and aunt cured of their disease so I can finally feel happiness again

A reason not to do it

Did you know that Taco Bell is releasing a chicken taco? Don’t do it friend, you will miss out big.
- Also chicken nuggets... Because we always go there and wonder, "why are there no nuggets at this taco place?"
- Past tense bro. There are new chicken nuggets out though as of about 2 days ago.
Think of the shareholders!

A no gifts agreement. You get nothing, I get nothing, we all save money and some sanity while not feeding the system by collectively buying a ton of unnecessary stuff at double the prices.

But anyway, if I wanted something, a Mullvad voucher would be useful.
Something cool, but mostly just a toy, an external eUICC chip, "eSIM adapter". Either JMP because their app is open-source and on F-Droid, or 9esim because it's far cheaper and has more storage. But as I said, it's not something I need, mostly would serve me as a toy and I'd have a bunch of random foreign eSIM profiles. There's even some free eSIMs like Firsty Free that I'd like to try. They promise "basic speed" unlimited data access with a time limit for watching ads. But there's also some like BNESIM which have no expiration and some usable prepaid data amount.
My current phone doesn't support eSIMs natively, but seems to support the required OMAPI to make this work.

ThinkPad Thales card would be far cheaper, and probably work too (with EasyLPAC), but it's out of stock everywhere.

But again, not something I need, just something for fun.

What are you doing with all that phone stuff? I thought we're using the internet these days instead of calling people. Or do you just travel much and need the data plans for different countries/continents?
- What are you doing with all that phone stuff?
  Nothing, I don't have any.
  I thought we’re using the internet these days instead of calling that much.
  A lot of cheap eSIMs are actually data-only, i.e.: you don't get a phone number.
  Or do you just travel much and need the data plans for different countries/continents?
  No, not at all. I just get interested in random crap, and now it's SIM cards it seems. Either way, some of these manage to be cheaper than many local offers, or even completely free as I mentioned.
  Another thing is some countries, unlike mine, don't require ID verification. So no scanning of your ID card, scanning your face, or perhaps physically sending signed documents via mail and waiting 3 - 5 business days to get your SIM card activated like I had to do with my carrier. e-mail should be enough. This way, phone numbers can be as disposable as e-mail addresses which is just awesome when using some untrusted services that want your phone number.
  Lastly, coverage. I already purchased T-Mobile physical SIM from Czech Republic (and yay it works). T-Mobile seems to try to get as many roaming partners as possible in every country. In mine, that's 3 out of 4, and 4th one is my main carrier. So I can connect to every carrier in my country with these 2 SIMs. I just find that pretty cool.
  I told you, I get interested by random crap.
  Next on my list is GiffGaff (United Kingdom) which I can get for free shipped anywhere in Europe and can also be activated from abroad (as far as I can tell) like that T-Mobile card.
- Hackerman

I want to have children, but cannot afford them for an undetermined amount of time. Fingers crossed that we'll have enough money someday!

3 kids here 12 and under. If you are mentally and emotionally ready for kids just do it. That's the big secret. You will never be ready financially. Kids adapt and will be happy so long as you are stable and can provide the most important necessities like love, a roof and food.
- If I had serious financial stress I cannot imagine also having kid stress. What if one needs serious medical attention or has special education needs?
  I dunno. This seems reckless.
- We are both men, and my spouse is still in the process of immigrating here, hehe. I know we'll never be financially ready, but I want him here while we navigate surrogacy (preferred, but expensive) or adoption.
  We'll figure it out!
Seconding other comments, you'll never ever be financially ready, there will always be new concerns, but that was true for most parents. People far less intelligent and less prepared than you have figured it out and done alright.
Our experience is that basically the only really expensive thing is childcare. Are you eligible for subsidized, or free, care (or have trustworthy and willing relatives)?
As for gear, babies don't need much. But for what they do need, reach out to friends, neighbors, and family! We're fortunate that we could have afforded everything new, but we really only bought a few things because friends and randos alike gave us so much free kid stuff (we bought a nice stroller, a baby basket, and an IKEA crib --- basically everything else was a hand-me-down). Join local "buy nothing" groups, or parent groups (sadly they're usually WhatsApp, but whatever). Most people hate throwing away stuff, and would rather it go to a good home.
Look at programs for subsidized/free necessities like diapers. There are lots of resources out there, especially in cities.
As everyone else said, no one feels ready. We certainly didn't!

To win a housing lottery so I can move the fuck out like why the fuck do you need to be lUcKy to FUCKING LIVE IN THE CITY YOU WERE FUCKING BORN IN? Some apartments and condos had yearly incomes of 100k to 150k yearly. Bro. If you're making One Hundred Thousand United States Dollars every year, you're most likely making $1500 a week. You should be considered rich or well off. Why the absolute fuck are literal rich people unable to fucking just live on their own in their city without needing to be lucky? The US Government is a humongous failure. Any country with homeless and desperately poor people has a failed government. Then you have these exact poor people fighting each other for enough money to escape poverty on Mr Beast Games and everyone's watching it without understanding how fucked that is. That poor people are given a carrot on a stick to chase for everyone's entertainment.

I have all that I can reasonably want that I could reasonably be given, so I'm making a gift instead, I'm off donating blood in half an hour, hopefully someone will appreciate it 😋

hopefully someone will appreciate it 😋
Not sure if wholesome, or wants there to be a car crash...
(I know what you mean, I just found it humorous.)
- Ugh yes I worded that badly 🥲
  A gift no one wants but will nonetheless appreciate?

Happiness.

Time. I just want time. And so far haven’t gotten any.

Is it bad that I’m grateful to COViD? I invited my ex and her father for Christmas dinner so they could also spend time with our kids, but we never had compatible meal routines and they’re insisting on dinner at 3pm. However she came down with just enough COViD that they probably won’t come. I can have dinner at dinner time! I get time to sleep in, time to enjoy Christmas with my kids, and even time to put dinner together.

If the rest of my week could go like that, I’d be so grateful

they’re insisting on dinner at 3pm
I understand why some people do this (our extended family included), but I fucking HATE it.

I want Saturn, somebody please buy me Saturn and all it's moons.

That was weird cuz I named my computer Saturn, so I was like wait wut?
- If you had turned your webcam off, I would not have know that. O_o

Snow

real and true.

Wish I had friends to spend it with instead of a person who is abusive and swears at me every day.

Oh man that's so sad. Based on your posts & comments you seem like a lovely person. :( I'll be your friend!
- Aww thank you. I appreciate your friendship.

My wife to stop drinking.

man, similar boat. sometimes she can't even stand straight without teetering, and I'm tired of fighting over it. if anything, this will be the cause to our end.
I know how people here feel about reddit, but https://old.reddit.com/r/Alanon can help you get away or communicate better possibly.
Oooft hope my wife wouldn't write something like this about me. No actual drama but my routine of being a middle-class wine drinker sinking glasses in front of the tv in the evening could be considered problematic.
- as long as you handle all your responsibilities, it is what it is. when I can't communicate with my partner or have to keep asking her to handle responsibilities or have the exact same conversation every day because she can't remember? that's a big problem. if I can't trust my partner, then why are we together.

I want real freedom. It's basically impossible.

Freedom is free, comfort is what costs.
- While I'm a huge fan of what you're saying, I'm more about going unimpeded. Barriers really suck.
That's easy. Just stop wanting to do the things you can't do.
- That sounds like a restriction.

To not be alone.

Damn, bruh. Sorry to hear.

rest

A whole new life, but I’ve already been there, done that—it’s not what it’s cracked up to be.

I hope to have a whole new life eventually because reincarnation is my favorite concept of an afterlife, but no hurry on that.

To spend xmas with my grandparents that passed away!

My mum to meet my daughter.

Peace and quiet.

This was all just a bad dream and I'm waking up to Mortal Kombat for the Sega Genesis under the tree in 1993.

Peace and quiet. I usually end up cleaning more than anyone and regulating my kids emotions. I get a break when they go to school. Now they're home for 2 weeks. I miss when they were younger. It was far simpler.

The Return of the British Empire

- Shhh you might summon every K9 on the platform!

A particular orange turd to face the consequences of his actions or croak.

Well he'll never face criminal justice cuz he'll either pardon himself or have his final Big Mac Attack - and then he's replaced by Vance. My wish is for him to golf and tweet his way through another 4 years and hopefully the Dems get their shit more together.

I’m certain I won’t get it, as it’s not on my wishlist nor have I ever mentioned it to anyone, but my number one desired object right now is a life-sized, anatomically correct model of a specific non-human animal body part.

A furry accessory?
- I guess you could call it that too. Especially if you're dressing up as a stallion.

No one mention any far right talking points

Anything. I haven't gotten a Christmas gift in years. My family isn't big on holidays, but I like the idea that someone was thinking of me. I think a card would be nice.

The other night I watched the episode of Mr. Bean, where he's writing Christmas cards. He goes out, shoves them in under the door, comes back in, acts surprised to find them, reads them and hangs them on a string on the wall - all identical.
- That's so cute! I should re-watch him.
- For the thought, that's all. Not so much about the card itself, but someone taking time to write to you, even if it is just a holiday greeting. But I also don't get a bunch so they're easy for me to hold on to. I still have my birthday card from my 20's 😅. But do it need it? No. Just makes me smile when it happens.

The motherboard in my computer is basically dead. Every morning I must perform voodoo to get just one more post.

But my computer is fairly old now and I can't justify just replacing the board for more money than upgrading the platform. 😔

A dual battery charger for Dewalt 20-volt batteries… I think in gonna get a BB gun instead, so I’m still pumped.

You're gonna put your eye out

A reversal of the cuts my health insurance is making and further to have all of my healthcare paid for by the insurance I pay a ton of money to have. Especially hurts since the insurance company is my employer, or at least I used to. Now they have the same parent company or whatever they call it these days.

A (significant) raise in salary (after tax) to invest and hopefully increase my portfolio.

Cure for Depression...

🙃

I've heard just trying to not be sad works apparently? Haven't tried myself, but it might work. If the assholes on the Internet are to be believed.
- c/ThanksI'mCured
  🙃
Get lots more exercise. It won’t cure it, but it really helps

With the way the weather goes anymore due to climate change in my area, a white Christmas. I think either last year or the year before we had one, but that also came with the first subzero temperatures I've ever dealt with.

This year there's been basically no snow at all outside of maybe a day or less and not even that cold. I've been able to use a leather jacket I've been wearing most of fall and haven't needed to pull out my actual winter coat besides once this December. I really do like my winter coat, so I'm bummed about that, but also bummed because I associate Chrismas with snow because there was always snow every winter in my hometown compared to now.

More than three days off this month.

For all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.

But if I had two wishes this Christmas ...

Magic cards Edit: did not get any magic cards. Got some cash though so I may head over to my LGS later this week

Best I can do is some shoddy pirate yugioh's
/monkeyspaw - "a complete set of Fallen Empires. Enjoy!"

A deus ex machina

Obligatory impractical / intangible: Four decades of excellent, indefatigable mental health.

Outlandish: The double glazing is overdue for replacing. (Follow-up: Someone to clean up the inevitable mess that would make.)

Practical: Cotton boxers. I asked for slippers instead. (If this startles you from some kind of reverie, and the double glazing thing wasn't a hint, I am British and middle aged. Slippers are a necessity.)

A KVM or bottle of Russell’s 15

KVMs are awesome but when I got a cheaper one it didn't work with my video card so I ended up with a $300 one.

I already know what I'm getting because it was all disclosed via Amazon wishlist and (although I did have the "no spoilers" option or whatever is called enabled) my brother just blabbed it was empty.

I didn't have much on it tbf. But I guess I know what I'm getting. Except I've forgotten some of it by now, so it's kind of a surprise.

Medical debt for my disabled friend/roommate's cat who had a bad accident which severed a tendon. I'd love to pay it off for him if I could. Emergency visit to the vet for a severed tendon, all the follow-ups, and drugs over his month long recovery. I recently used up my savings and added debt myself to renovate my entire previously unfinished basement for said roommate/friend and have nothing left to give. Took him and his two cats in because he needed to escape his abusive mom. It's been a big fucking stain on his fresh start from my pov and I'm bummed out about it /rant.

A blowie

But would also love a mini CNC mill

I mean a good CNC mill could last you a lifetime, just saying.

I want my council tax bill paid. They didn't take it for two years straight due to an administrative error - I even had a direct debit setup - but have only just now realised on their side and now they want all of it back at once. Paid off a big lump of it immediately but had to go on a payment plan where they take an extra £400 per month for the next quarter.

I HATE how errors like this favor the company. THEY fucked up, but can just dump it all on you.
yes they can argue that you shouldn't have spent the money and should have noticed, but if it were reversed, they'd fight to not pay you and delay it most likely. people that don't understand "shit happens" suck.

Functional government with a solid social safety net.
\ A country which doesn't have a culture of greed and psychopathy.

Some things for my daughter’s room (a nightstand, a bedding set, and a table lamp) to help her transition to a “big girl bed” from her crib. But they’re not “fun” gifts or toys so I’m not expecting to get them even though they’d be the most helpful. She has enough toys.

Some day I'd love to be the owner of a Curta calculator, but considering the cheapest I've ever seen them is $700 I don't think that'll ever be a Christmas gift. A tax refund gift to myself perhaps one day, but certainly not a Christmas gift.

Fuck me for wanting one a loong time ago when you could get a real old one for like 350€... but absolutely not having the money.
What a masterpiece and a story too.

One of the rentals I'm trying to get into to contact me back so I can leave my house and finally get this divorce on the road.

See family

Any family? Or a specific one?

More tools. A knock off power probe, a set of wrenches, mid length metric sockets and a few more pairs of pliers from amazon.

I want to be able to buy out the entirety of my geeky/nerd knick knack store. But I most likely won't because I'd feel cluttered with so many figurines and other stuff that I'd end up donating it.

New PC, new chain and sprocket for my moto, or pay down some debt would be nice, ain't gonna happen tho lol.

I want a 2" diameter curling iron. I can't find them anywhere in store. They only go up to a 1 1/2" for some reason.

Also, I just killed my hair dryer last night so now I need a new one.

Unfortunately, there two items became needed over the past few days so it's too late to ask anyone for them. I'll just get them myself. ¯(ツ)/¯

Purpose

Black Summer on Blu-ray