Florida introduces anti-chemtrail bill

Let them pass it, take it to the state courts and then claim (correctly with mountains of scientific evidence) that any combustion of fossil fuels counts as "weather modification"

It sounds like they've thought of that:
The "Weather Modification Activities" bill sets out that "the injection, release, or dispersion, by any means, of a chemical, a chemical compound, a substance, or an apparatus into the atmosphere within the borders of this state for the express purpose of affecting the temperature, the weather, or the intensity of sunlight is prohibited."
So it allows releasing pollution that causes climate change since it is a side effect of other things (transport, power generation, etc.), but forbids intentionally trying to mitigate climate change by releasing anything into the air. Sounds about right for Florida politics.
That said, there is a real uncertainty about the side effects of may experimental geoengineering techniques, so some regulation is probably in order. Preferable not from Republicans for ignorant or bad faith reasons though.
- They ripped off Tennessee's bill.
  https://wapp.capitol.tn.gov/apps/BillInfo/default.aspx?BillNumber=SB2691&GA=113
- That's kind of dumb, no? Because what if we need weather control to reduce the fucking temperature?!
- Does this make outdoor misters illegal? Not sure how Disney World lines would be bearable in the summer without those misters cooling things down. But maybe they don't consider water a chemical?
- That said, there is a real uncertainty about the side effects of may experimental geoengineering techniques, so some regulation is probably in order. Preferable not from Republicans for ignorant or bad faith reasons though.
  Well, there's relative certainty that the absence of major geoengineering will result in climate destabilization not compatible with human life, so, we're like half a century overdue for worrying about how to tackle this in a controlled fashion.
  We're in the press-buttons-in-a-pure-state-of-panic-and-fucking-hope-one-of-them-fixes-something phase of climate science.
  Worse case scenario, we majorly fuck up and our corpses crisp up slightly faster than the track we're on now. Fuck it. Might as well try.
- Cruise ships will have to shut off their engines 200miles from shore and coast in with their engines turned off .... don't know how they will leave port tho? .... rowing like a Roman Trireme maybe?
They're going after people who plant trees...
- Water trees, but basically yes.
Let them keep the ban.

Lol, they're literally the state that needs weather modification the most. Just ask the remaining home insurers.

This is hilarious.

Moron signaling

Lmao, enjoy dealing with all the nuts trying to report “chemtrails” now.

Hell, maybe giving them a reason to flood legal channels is the goal and not the side effect.

God the American public is so stupid.

somehow, they will definitely have a loophole for private jets …

If you have a private jet then you will probably just pay the fine and consider it a parking fee.
- Reminds me of an actor/comedian that claimed to have ran a stop sign in front of a cop during a torrential downpour. When the cop is standing outside the car in the downpour and asked if the driver knew why he was pulled over the driver replied, "yeah, do you know why I ran the stop sign?"

"the injection, release, or dispersion, by any means, of a chemical, a chemical compound, a substance, or an apparatus into the atmosphere within the borders of this state for the express purpose of affecting the temperature, the weather, or the intensity of sunlight is prohibited."

🤔 a substance or device released into atmosphere for the express purpose of affecting the temperature or sunlight intensity

Are they trying to ban misters, solar shades, and umbrellas?

They are going to ban any reference to a round earth next
Don't forget spray sunscreen, and possibly minorities having sex?
Sorry outdoor restaurants, gonna need you to remove the umbrellas from your tables. They're classified as an apparatus used for the express purpose of reducing the intensity of sunlight.
- Uh, how does that qualify as "released into the atmosphere"
  I mean during a tornado it could potentially be within violation but at that point there's probably bigger issues.

Wait until airlines get fined for "chem trails"?

Or all the airlines pull out of Florida. (I realize that will not, but a boy can dream)
- And also the Florida cruise industry collapses.
  I fully support this bill. In our laboratory of democracy I think states should have the right to idiocy themselves into economic irrelevance.
- Eh, it's fairly unlikely but not that far fetched. A lot of insurance companies have pulled out of Florida now. So why not airlines if they start getting fined for bullshit reasons.
- Oh they could and the old people there would suddenly be on Florida’s ass about this stupid law and get it changed very very quickly.
Rockets also leave contrails.

Republicans: chemtrails bad

Unless it's just air, land, or sea pollution from our chronies.

God they're insufferable.

Ok. Then they can stop all the measures taken to protect citrus from freezing. That’s weather modification.

Their state might sink under the ocean, but at least the sky will be free of linear water vapor. Freedom!

The "chemtrails" will continue, because they're a natural side effect of airliner travel in certain conditions.

Dumb Floridians will call authorities.

What will the state do? Tell the airlines they are liable for something they aren't doing?

The farce has to end somewhere.

Edit: let's just hope it ends before hillbillies feel justified for shooting at passenger aircraft.

I mean... Contrails are bad for the climate and should be avoided, and it wouldn't cost that much more.
https://www.technologyreview.com/2024/03/12/1089620/how-rerouting-planes-to-produce-fewer-contrails-could-help-cool-the-planet/
Tho we all know that they accidentally stumbled into maybe a good idea.
- This cirrus-forming phenomenon could account for around 35% of aviation’s total contribution to climate change—or about 1% to 2% of overall global warming, according to some estimates.
  I had absolutely no clue that they had an impact, much less such a significant one. Thanks for sharing!
  Also interesting:
  A small fraction of overall flights, between 2% and 10%, create about 80% of the contrails

Unfortunately tinfoil hats could be classified as an apparatus that reduces the intensity of sunlight, so those are gonna have to go as well.

Kids. Don't do drugs.

Kids, don't be morons.

So what about when Florida crops are starved for rain?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloud_seeding

So when people say, the democrats do nothing, do they mean in comparison to bills like this? I mean, technically You're right, but... dear god.

Lewis Black on the difference between Democrats and Republicans

Might as well ban ghosts

🙄

That won’t work. Most of their constituents think they will become ghosts soon

Oh boy, political theater. Assuming it's not their actual crackpot belief. Given the Orange Idiot's cabinet picks though, I wouldn't bet in that assumption being accurate.

The Disney spray nozzles during Summer are weather modifications! Get them!

“So today we pass an important bill to address nefarious government activities that we know are changing our countries climate. We will not tolerate any artificial means to alter weather.”

Everyone claps and congratulate each other on a job well done.

“Next, we are going to introduce severe penalties for any crazy scientists going around and scaring our states fine people with talk of climate change and blaming it on human activities.”

Everyone claps again.

A grand chess move until the jurisdiction ceases to apply three nautical miles out from the coast line where international waters are under federal control... Oh,I see where this is going.

The qons seem to be getting stupider by the day.

Sounds like a $10,000 fee to chem trail all over their state.

So they are finally going to combat climate change? By making driving and heating mostly, and breathing in general illegal?

No, because as the article says it's only emissions done for the express purpose of changing the weather that the bill forbids. That's how they make it legal to break things but illegal to even try to fix them.

Someone's trying to prevent a Snowpiercer