Dutch rule

When the only thing neuken me in my keuken is life. 😔

Kutleven!
(The Dutch attach genitals or diseases to words to turn them into swearwords. This one is often used for "shit life" but it literally means "vagina life" which I find very fitting and ironic in this context)
- cunt life would be better. Even more correct: a cunt’s life , ie a very bad life.
- To add a few more examples:
  zakkenwasser (sack/bollocks washer, an asshole)
  lul-de-behanger ([mister]cock-the-wallpaperer, also translates to asshole)
  lullen (dicking/cocking, talking nonsense)
this sounds funny bc keuken sounds like dick in swedish
- And kök looks like cock in English, so we've come full circle (I know it's not pronounced that way)

Swedish Chef.gif

Swaffelen - Wikipedia

Swaffelen - Wikipedia (English)

We used to call that a mushroom stamp.
- Penalizing someone works too
Turkey slap

I read this in Canadian.

"Oh yeah bud, we were just neuken in keuken all night eh?"

“When yer livin’ in the good ol’ American north, sometimes nucken in the keuken is the only entertainment ya have, don’tcha know?”
- Ye'll freeze ta death out here witout yer neuken bud.

I am absolutely convinced that Dutch isn't a real language. The entire country just makes shit up as they go along just to fuck with the rest of us, and the the entire country is in on the joke.

Makker houd een even heel gouw je grote mond.
- gouw
  Spreek Nederlands…!
- ¿Ves? Son solo un montón de sonidos tontos y todos se ríen de ello.
Geef me een klap papa
- Un abrazo!

Nederlands regel :-)

Something that's always confused me is that here we don't pronounce numbers from left to right. So instead of hundred ninety six (100-90-6) we say honderd zes-en-negentig (100-6-90)

English used to be that way as well:
Sing a song of sixpence
A pocket full of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds
Baked in a pie.
In these lyrics "four and twenty" means 24
- Which actually makes sense when you remember that English, before the Normans at least, was very close to dutch.

I used to work in England as an export clerk for a Dutch transport company. This is the first phrase my Dutch colleges taught me.

Neophyte - Neuken in de keuken

I did an exchange program with the Netherlands once (Mgr Frencken College or something) and this sentence and a weird ass kick dance was all I learnt

I think you can add on de keukentafel?

I'm like "let's look up some jumpstyle videos on YouTube for the onlookers in this conversation" but I think it's all been deleted out of sheer cringe.
- Do you remember what it was called even? We just called it The Dutch Jump Dance but my guess it is not the native dance of your people
- Would you be able to describe it? I'm genuinely curious.
If you're talking early 2000s I know exactly what dance you mean. That was a short but intense fad.
- Yeah it was around that time and I am very certain you have the right one in mind. It ended up being the secret "I participated in the Holland exchange" dance in our school and I can still kick it

I did it all for the neuken

Mooie meisjes, met kaas!

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