I'M SUCH A NICE BIRD

You can definitely find men who flirt like all four of these examples.

I mean, the flaunting of sexual organs as an attempt to show fitness for mating isn't exactly unlike those things
All four in one?

They also literally scream all day at the top of their lungs, "WANNA FUCK??"

Yeah I hate it when I'm trying to enjoy myself at the park and there's a bunch of birds screaming at the top of their lungs about sex.
- Think of the poor children, we can't let this continue
- So selfish
Who Men or Birds? I mean that applies to both. If we are doing this whole sweeping generalization thing.
But seriously majority of Men aren't jerks. Just a surprising number of men who go around hitting/trying to get laid all the time are.
- Haha yeah it is applicable to both sometimes. And agreed, it's the assholes that scream the loudest and make the normal people look bad.
It's just a cacophony of male birds literally shouting it over each other all day from sunrise to sunset.
Nature is so beautiful 😍

Okay but seriously giving shiny rocks to girls works pretty well. Not like jewelry or gemstones, literally just nice rocks.

Have you ever just sat and admired a well-tumbled stone? They're pretty to look at.
Bonus, if your person is the right type of crafty, they can turn those nice rocks into jewelry! I have a couple pieces my wife has made because they were just interesting stones she's found she thought I'd like.
- Men, on the other hand, can be impressed by the gift of a good stick.
Well I mean... Not exactly limited to girls. Who doesn't like a nice shiny rock? Nobody, that's who. Show me one person who claims to not have at least one good rock somewhere in their house. Can't do it can yeh? Didn't think so.
- I got a rock last weekend that I'm still pumped about. I'm letting it just sit on top of my coffee table.
  Edit: rock
One of my exes gave me a pebble, and said something about penguins giving a partner a pebble and they keep it for life. Pretty sure I lost it after a couple of weeks, and found a similar looking one and she never caught on ¯(ツ)_/¯
My wife is big time into labradorite. It’s cool as hell, when it catches the light you can see gleams of blue or orange amongst the green. I actually recently got her a labradorite engagement ring and wedding band to replace the cheap, simple silicone ring she wears because of her job that she’ll be leaving in the near future.

And they're really just looking for good genes and not all the other stuff tied to what's perceived as a successful human relationship.
Women ☕
Always complaining about the problems they face and find relatable, smh they just can't stop victimizing men

Tbh most real birds probably act like the last one.

Ducks don't even ask. They just rape. Most birds don't have a penis, but ducks do. It's for raping.
- Which is fairly common in the animal kingdom. The reproductive organs of many animals are designed around this, with the females having vaginas mean to prevent it, and the males having penises meant to specifically copulate with those unique vaginas, often times having spines to give their specific offspring better odds or trigger ovulation despite the pain it causes.

Lemme smash.

No, Ron. Go find Becky.
- You wan... sum fuk?

Pssh, this is completely untrue. The last time I impaled a bunch of small people and animals on a giant thorn, I didn't any attention. Well some, but the only from the police.

Building a beautiful house is slightly more involved than weaving together some sticks and twigs that you found.

Not if you don't have hands
- There's obvious limitations, but some birds make much better nests than others. The rufous hornero is probably the best bird in that category, they make nests out of clay.
Pigeon nests are even shittier than that. They literally put some twigs down and call it a day. Honestly it's a wonder how they even survive. Google for 'pigeon nest' for a good laugh, they're just so terrible at it, like imagine a person giving bits of wood as a house.

Well, when clubbing I've often seen guys use the same mating strategy as street pidgeons.

Puffing their chest, wiggling their heads and weirdly "dancing" while rotating in place?

Bottom left is just actual neurodivergent flirting

It's also how it works in Stardew Valley
- Imagine how thrilled I was when I realized my crush likes to eat a common sort of rock I had like 30 of

Not all birds

Definitely not ducks.
- My name is Duck and I'm here to fuck.

I'd be a Canada Goose

Hey baby wanna ...... HOOOOOONNNKKKK!!!! .....

I've only properly been a woman for like, 5 years now, but I've honestly only had one dude ever attempt the fourth panel. Most dudes who try to flirt with me do it by talking about their interests and relentlessly complimenting me every time I know something about it or have something to add. That said, it does work on me.

I wish men and or women flirted like birds 😔

Honestly our species sucks

Our species' talent is speech, and that's what we use to flirt. That seems natural to me.
- Eh I hate small talk. I'd much rather someone made me a diy gift. Doesn't haven't to be big but the time spent on it would communicate alot of affection to me 🤷
We use to when we had free time. All work and no play makes you a dull boy.
So you want a gay sugar daddy basically.
- I mean I'd like a sugar mommy but yeah basically 👈😎
Hell nah. If we flirted like birds of paradise, it would be a very one sided relationship.
- How's that?

I'll take the top left bird please.

And I love how all we women have to do is just sit there and attract men. /s

Do birds have dicks? I'm not googling it

Ducks have a corkscrew shaped cock with explosive erections. There's slo mo shots on youtube.
- Also, female ducks have corkscrew shaped vaginas they can contract or relax. This is to protect against rape and to only mate with desirable males. It's basically an arms race b/w duck dicks and vaginas. Ducks trying to be as as close to the vagina structure as possible, while the vagina tries to be as hard to get in (without consent) as possible.
- Goat dicks are just as weird.
Most of them just touch butts
- Ah, so just like humans

I guess I flirt like a bird.

does the law in the avian world rewards female birds for divorce and expects the male bird to pay alimony should the female bird remains unpaired??