coffee rule

No AeroPress. I'll never know who I am. :(

The pseudo-espresso that you can take camping? Anarcho-primitivism for sure
- Lit.
I had the same question, and decided that the pour over is the closest in the image. I've been an anarchist a long time anyway.
Halfway between Pour Over and French Press, and typically appeals to a wide tent. I'd say SocDem.

Liberal

Gotta swap to a Nomad or a Flair, escape the liberal entrapment of automatic machines!
- I’d probably categorize the keurig as a liberal machine rather than the one where you have to grind, distribute, and tamp your beans.
  (But also, my god yes- the flair is fantastic if you can handle the thermal management prior to coffee making. Highly recommend)

I... don't drink coffee...

Yeah I drink tea, now what am I supposed to believe in?
- i mean its basically just anarchist with fewer steps
- The monarchy?
Maybe that means you're a nihilist?

No instant? I drink instant every day.

Accelerationist/Anarcho-nihilist.
- Fuck

"Hoxhaist" is a term you made up and you can't convince me otherwise

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoxhaism
Hoxhaism (/ˈhɒdʒə.ɪzəm/ HOJ-ə-iz-əm) is a variant of anti-revisionist Marxism–Leninism that developed in the late 1970s due to a split in the anti-revisionist movement, appearing after the ideological dispute between the Chinese Communist Party and the Party of Labour of Albania in 1978.
Yeah, I'm just going with "made up". The alternative is navigating three levels deep of leftist infighting.
- This is just astrology for leftists now, lmao
- Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?
  https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2005/sep/29/comedy.religion
- So the Judean people's front...

Not to yuck y'all's yum, but coffee is gross

- Jokes on you, I regret being born every morning already
- I drink a full glass of pure espresso bc I am empty inside
Existing proof that opinions can be wrong

Neoliberal is going to Starbucks. Neoconservative is going to Starbucks and yelling at the hispanic barista.

Watch out if you dare to have blue hair as well.

Pairing Trotsky with a consumerist product is an insult. It would be shared instant coffee at the Slabs, and everyone drinking it would say the other coffee was stolen.

I'm mostly anarchist, but when I have visitors I become a Marxist-Leninist

Seize the Means of caffination!
So say we all
From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs
- And right now, I need coffee

Posadism attempts to introduce elements of ufology into Marxist thought.

WTF?

...Arguing that only communism can allow the development of interplanetary travel.

I'd argue that the infrastructure we need to colonize other worlds is going to require larger organized population than capitalism can provide.

But as a reader that sees ideologies as starting points (that need to be developed so as to create a pathway to post-scarcity), I can't say what the corruption-light system is that will allow for interplanetary colonization and trade.

The fabricator IRL would be late-game magitech that manipulates huge amounts of energy. (A fabrication failure could annihilate a continent). Far, far, sooner, we'll have the food-printer / turbolift system of Star Trek TOS to deliver us our custom-made coffee.

Meanwhile, in 2024, we're having a tough time escaping the gravity of fascism-driven autocracy.

But all I have is a coffee mug and a jar of instant... ☕⁉️😭

That's masochist.
- Idk Kronung is pretty good ¯(ツ)/¯

Everyone knows the true test of a person's character is the consistency of their grinder, not the brewer. (please don't look on my kitchen countertop- it's full of almost all of these and a single hand grinder. My forearm is crying for help)

Your forearm needs more shakeweight
Protip: Pick up a cheap 20v battery operated hand drill and attach it to the handle.
Whatever, folgers is good enough.

No Aeropress?

SocDem. Halfway between pour over and French press, widely appealing, but people tend to grow beyond it.

holy shit it classidied me correctly

Where is the aero press

Like, halfway between French Press and Pour Over. Probably a SocDem IMO

Pan of water brought to boiling on the stove. Add grounds 30 seconds after removing from heat. Wait several minutes. Strain through fine mesh seive directly into cup.

No machine or dedicated apparatus required.

That's just a French Press in denial.
use a kettle you animal
- It's a real pain to clean the kettle after you fill it with coffee grounds every brew.
Utilitarian
Also are you ok?
- There's someone in these comments claiming that they have orange juice with their coffee, so I'm willing to tolerate uphillbothways' bullshit at least until that war criminal is dealt with
Accelerationist/Anarcho-nihilist

As a Posadist I'll have you know the aliens haven't delivered my replicator yet.

Sort of a pivot, but The Orville did a great bit about replicators and how if you dropped them into a society like 21st century Earth, they'd just end up coopted by the rich and further strain society.
We can't even have future nice things thanks to capitalism.

but i only drink tea...

Since we’re talking communism, can’t I just use yours?

That seems to be a pretty great idea for a mutual aid project: Make a community coffee dispensary whose mission is to brew the best coffee and give it to anyone who wants a cup. Large-scale production should be useful in controlling the factors of coffee production, hence only a short time of trial and error, the coffee dispensed should progress from bog-standard to half-way decent to pretty good to absolute best.
Stretch goals include a baked-goods dispensary that is attached.
Yours? Get this propertarian language out of here. We can share the one I use.

I dont even know the word

After Google: no i dont like stalin

Anarchist posadist: "Gas station coffee, hot, no mug."

Slurps the concoction off the replicator shelf

Cold brew? Asking for a friend named me.

Best I got is reformist/social democrat because it takes forever and is good but not great when it's ready
Democratic Socialist. Flexible and widely beloved, but can be looked down upon by people who know and care more about coffee.
I use the French press for cold brew sometimes

Once again we must spark the great debate. Is making coffee at home Bourgeoisie or Proletariat?

Neither. Closer to that of the small handicraftsman or small manufacturing worker, who predate both the bourgeoisie and Proletariat.
If you're asking if it's more Proletarian to make coffee at home or buy it, I'd say people should, in general, be more self-sufficent and conscious when it comes to consumption, but obviously not everyone has time for that.

What about manual lever espresso machines? That's my daily driver!

Edit: ignoring my own personal ideology, I think Manual Lever-Machines like the Flair, especially when paired with hand-grinders, are tactile, methodical, and focused on the means just as much as the ends. The actual experience and methodology is just as important as the espresso, it's a ritualistic practice.

As such, I think it's more likely to represent a form of Anarchism, where the means themselves are ends. Marxism-Leninism is usually more representative of gradual processes towards a greater end, whereas Anarchism itself is concerned with the process itself being a good end.

Just my 2 cents, I'd appreciate anyone else weighing in. It's fun to combine espresso and leftist ideology, considering both are important to me!

get away with your fucking bullshit, what about:

put the grounds in the cup
pour hot water over the grounds
stirr in your condiments
wait for the grounds to fall
scoop out whatever is stuck to the foam on the top
drink slowly until you see the grounds

ps: just kidding though, i use the fully automated machine at work like the others there, which puts us all into the trotskyite ca- uh... group, i guess. what i described was the prevalent preparation method in my hometown though

My Moka pot has led me to learn about an ideology I kinda like at first blush. This meme is uncanny.

Bialetti or bust
- I've been using the steel one IKEA was selling about 12 years ago this whole time. Damn thing won't bust, and I refuse to upgrade until it does

What if I inject coffee straight into my veins?

I've really gotten into instant coffee lately. Easy to get the right caffeine dosage and it's damn creamy with lots of milk.

Accelerationist or Anarcho-Nihilist.
- Damn, learned something about myself today!

what does one of those fun siphon brewers fall under? I like the physics :)

Fully automated luxury space gay Communism.

I heat up water in the microwave, then add coffee grounds, sugar, and milk to it.

What am I?

Mine is Marxist-Leninist, but fancy...one 'o them Ninja drippers

Champagne Socialist
Jk
- Hey, even radical socialists like Charmin on their buttholes
I really like my Ninja dripper. My wife got it for me when we moved in together seven years ago.

I have all of them ?

Link to the food replicator?

As a liberal, and an Italian: yes, cause every coffee prep method that isn't espresso fucking sucks.

And I guess replicators can make espresso too.

And mokas burn more than they cook.

Where my instant coffee gang at?

Accelerationism/Anarcho-nihilism.

Sure, but what political axes does "pour that bullshit in here from wherever, black, but add a scoop of orange juice concentrate" fall on?

That is by far the strangest concoction I've ever heard of
Neo-Reactionism
- I will agree that it is a very strong flavor, but I like it.

I confess I do believe in the right of nations to pursue socialism by different paths, dictated by the conditions, culture and social institutions of each nation, but I would not say I am 100% anti-revisionist. Mostly tho. I mean, don't try to deny class struggle with me, because I am not having it.

Anyone say they Microwave the water to heat yet?

What about tea?

Neoliberalism. May Thatcher rot in hell.
What are you, British?
Eurocommunist.

what if i don't drink coffee and also last time i checked i was a centrist

Shame on you mlk jr. Is dissapointed
Then you don't belong here?
It's like walking into a conversation you weren't involved in that's about what nail polish says about what Powerpuff girl you are and you come in saying you're a man and don't wear nail polish lol
As far as why there's no centrists listed there it's probably because they can't decide if they want coffee or tea lol :P

But I don’t wanna be a liberal :(

I'm a liberal anarchist apparently.

Average DSA member /s

Minne Mokkamaster sijoittuu?

what does it mean if i use V60, french press, AND moka pot?

Anti-sectarian?
- Dangerously based

I make loose leaf tea in a nespresso, what am I?

Social Democrat. Tea cosplaying as coffee.

Where does Folgers instant put me?

Moderate American

What's the maoist one? Where do the grounds go?

It's a chemex. There's a cone filter on top that the grounds sit it, it's a pour over brewer.
It's exactly like a maoist, but glass instead of plastic.