If they think their actions are having much effect, sure, but otherwise I think you're making assumptions and overreacting. Not everything is for show, people can do things like that just because they personally want to.
There's certainly a non-performative part, I feel it inside of me. But when I'm looking at other people I can't see that, I can only see the performance. Tbh I'm not very good at doing woman despite my internal sense of self. Most of the things people think of in women are not very appealing to me, so I don't do them. And I think it's fair to say a lot of those things, like wearing certain kinds of clothing, are definitely not nature, but arbitrary.
Basically, there's two (maybe more) things going on here both called gender which is very confusing. I'm sure the internal feelings are very correlated to biological factors, but the other parts? No.
My guess is the assholeness is also built up resentment, because clear communication is socially taboo. We use euphemisms and hints, we say things without saying it, we avoid being rude and hide feelings. I've always hated that.
Even as a kid, that "ideal" seemed miserable to me. I guess I kinda see it if we adjust it to me being transbian, but it's still not ideal. I think I'd be a lot happier in a much more communal culture, which is the opposite of the American Dream.
I'm also not monogamist, so uh, yeah, that's very not compatible with this system.
I don't understand how people end up married to someone they only kinda like and tolerate. Idk if I'll ever marry because I want to be very sure we love each other and are compatible before making big decisions like that.
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