volvoxvsmarla @ volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee

you'll find me at sopuli.xyz under the same username

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2 yr. ago

Wait so you had to eat pasta to ease the pain or did he also recommend some pain relief medicine?

I actually wholeheartedly believe in reintegration of convicted criminals in society. I also, maybe even more wholeheartedly, believe that pedophiles need to be open about it so that they can get the help to cope with their urges, and we should not be judgemental about it and stigmatize them ahead of time - the majority of SA offenders who attack minors are not pedophiles. You won't prevent a pedophile from assaulting a minor by yelling at him for his preferences alone.

Now, that being said, fuck this guy. A misstep? If this happened in 2016 he should still be serving his sentence and definitely not be back on the Olympic team.

Ok, I looked it up: it happened in 2014, so he was 20 then. The age of consent in the Netherlands is surprisingly high (16), so you cannot even claim due diligence or anything. (I am from Germany and over here it is 14, and I have known a couple of 14-18+ relationships, and I could have seen a case where a German 18 year old guy has sexual relations with a British 15 year old and gets in trouble because of this.) He was sentenced to 4 years and served 1. One year for raping a 12 year old girl when he was 20. Wtf? The judges should be ashamed. And as for the Olympic team, shame on them too. This guy should not be representing your country.

I just don't want to be homeless when I am old. That's all I want. Having food and housing. A two room apartment for me and my husband would be nice. If I can use the public transport on top of that, I'm all set. A three room apartment would be a luxury and being able to go out every once in a while would be absolutely astronomical.

(I also want to have healthcare but I am in Germany so I got that going for me which is nice. )

I did in another comment above!

Ideologically, I can follow your argument. I just don't think this fits with the AA philosophy. But that being said, AA is not the one and only or the gold standard for self help groups. It's not a one size fits all. For me, AA is almost too religious and also didn't fit into my life back then.

In my early 20s I actually went to AA meetings over the course of probably a year. I kept it very secret, as I did with my very problematic consumption.

It was a group of probably 15-20 people, most aged 40-70. I was by far the youngest there. And let me tell you they would not have appreciated someone coming in who is under any kind of influence, including marijuana (even if it had been legal back then). Some people smoked cigarettes but even that was kind of frowned upon. At some point I mentioned that I have been getting into non-alcoholic beer, and even this was controversial, because I allegedly was masking the behavior and a slip back to alcoholic beer is easy. With that same logic, any kind of coping by using alternative drugs is just redirecting your addiction. In the group there was a strong belief that you are an addict for life and that you have an addictive personality type. And at least to me it's kind of true. As a side note: Nowadays I am drinking sugary lemonade as a treat (something I would have never done in my 20s) and a fuckton of specialty coffee. For me, this is ok, and it works. But I understand if in their philosophy this is not a good way to go about your problems.

Anyway, at another point someone else asked about benzodiazepines to ease the first transition. This has also been controversial, and while you can get this prescribed when you are becoming sober, everyone recommended not to do it. There seemed to be a strong belief that the best (or only) way to go about your addiction is to rawdog sobriety - don't mask, don't cope, face your feelings and pains and reasons for your consuption. Only then can you move on, forgive yourself, ask others for forgiveness, and all of these famous steps.

There is also a clear rule that you come sober. Although this is specifically in regards to alcohol, I am really sure any other mind altering substance that numbs or excites you would have led to you being excluded from this week's session.

Now, this is my experience with one group outside of the US. Also, I was a very shitty member and should not have been there to begin with. I made a joke, a competition out of it, I'm not even sure why I kept going there. I went there drunk, but no one ever suspected anything. The paramedics hardly suspected anything when I had 3.5%o blood alcohol, they assumed I had a slight migraine. I went to AA with literal booze in my handbag just for the thrill. I did so in university and relationships and with my family, and I was always so successful, I think I just wanted to see how far I can push my behavior before someone notices, before someone stops me, before I fuck up.

I stopped going to AA because I went abroad, but it was just a great excuse to stop going. The truth is I wasn't ready to stop drinking quite yet. Committing to never having alcohol again when you are missing the one thing in life that you have actually wanted and you're just 22 is just really hard.

Tl;dr: I would not recommend marijuana use in AA groups, to be honest neither during/before, nor in between meetings. It might not be the community you are looking for if you want to cope with your addiction by using an alternative drug. Whether or not it is a smart or sensible thing to do might be up for debate, but from my very limited experience with AA this would neither be ok for the group, nor go with their philosophy.

You've never been to an AA meeting, have you?

I was thinking about not donating to charity but buying stuff directly and asking them for support to ship it. Basically that makes you buy and not gift. If you buy 1 gigaton of rice for Ethiopia (I have no clue how many people a gigaton of rice would feed and I also have no clue whether Ethiopians need any rice) from Costco, well, then you have spent the money on it. Fuck it, maybe buy a boat. A ferry to ship it all directly. Buy land and don't gift but let workers work there. For free. For eternity. Oh you happen to pay them 50 times the average salary of their country? Well you're probably a bad businessman but you're not gifting. Pay the lawyers to make a bulletproof testament where you explicitly state that these poor fellas will never own the land but will for eternity be able to use it for free until the sun explodes.

And then bribe. Bribe away the heartache, bribe away the pain. Bribe the SCOTUS to retire. Bribe Putin to stop the war and fuck off. Bribe Trump to fuck off. Bribe Musk to get a vasectomy and fuck off. I mean you're basically just lobbying at that point but we all know that that's bribing and not gifting.

You guys have lazy Saturdays???

I think technology is the culprit in another way. It is not that we have too much time now as technology does all the work for you (also, really? Like, how does your life look like? I hardly have 10 minutes to feel bored, these 10 minutes take away from my very limited sleeping time). To me it seems more like we have gotten so used to filling every spare second with information, scrolling, clicking, googling, playing, texting, interacting, communicating. So much so that we have constant dopamine kicks and just cannot stand one second of being not busy. Everyone is shopping with headphones on, listening to music or a podcast. You're on an escalator? Better pull out your phone. You're cooking or cleaning? Turn up the volume! For real, when was the last time you just raw dogged a chore?

To each their own, motivations for veganism vary vastly. My dad was hardcore vegan for over 25 years and never ever did he care about animals or the environment. He was vegan out of (for a lack of a better term) health beliefs. Nowadays he eats mussels and raw cheese and egg yolks.

Fuck yeah!

If you think about it - such a big building is a great gigantic canvas. Like yeah, all these buildings in my city look nice from rather close with some details, but come on - a mosaic like that just rocks.

It calls for murals!

We live in a house from 1900 and thanks to a lot of work our apartment has the energy efficiency grade A to B. We will also get a heat pump in the next few years. We have PV on the roof (I'm not sure what for right now), our windows are triple glassed and we have two heat exchangers thingy that sucks air from the outside and pushes inside air out. A couple of months ago they also insulated the roof of the basement better.

We are very lucky that the owner is behind all these works. Most aren't, but it is to show that you're absolutely right and how much can be done and improved. (However, I still don't like the cut of the apartment or not having an elevator/barrier free access to the basement. And the bugs.)

Now you have been, bro. Now you have been.

Damn you made me remember last night's dream where I handed someone three bags, one of them contained dirt, one nutella, and one poop. They were all indistinguishable visually and somehow not even via smell. And then I ran away. I don't know why I was so panicked that they would come after me but I woke up panicking.

I recently moved to a German city that, whenever I mention it, is described as "ooh it's such a beautiful city!" because it wasn't bombed to shreds in the war and a lot of buildings are from 1900ish and older.

Honestly I would rather prefer to live in a building like the post. The apartments often are cut more efficiently and fit better for a family. Yeah, the outside isn't as appealing as around here but I don't live on the outside of my house, I live inside of it, so I barely care about its outsides. The other side effect of eastern blocks is that the density per square km is amazingly high. This also leads to supermarkets etc being everywhere. (I am, of course, making generalizations here.)

Of course I need to say that the energy efficiency in old eastern block houses is also awful.

But I don't want to bash the 1900s houses too much. At least they have 4-5 levels. That's still better than single family homes in the middle of a city (talking about you, pipe smoking guy in the middle of Sendling).

Ah, I see, your main issue is specifically with the burying? I assumed you had a problem with any kind of disposal that is not literally using the body for fuel/resources or just trashing it.

If you think about it it is not strange at all, it is maybe one of the very early things that differentiated us from animals. We have a concept of death and time, future and loss. We mourn our dead. And I strongly believe that all the rituals that we have established are not meant for the dead but in fact serve the living. It is a way to cope with the loss of a person. And with the ever same ways - casket, flowers, music, burying - we give the mourning something to do and get distracted so that they don't lose themselves in the sadness. It feels "right" because it feels familiar, everyone does it this way. You don't have to reinvent the wheel every time someone dies. How to cope, and how to get rid of the body? Well, there is a societal playbook for that.

There was a dude here on lemmy who actually specialized in American death rites. I think he stopped using lemmy though because of too much negativity, I think people commenting how stupid it is that we don't just trash our dead on a post was his tipping point. Which is a freaking shame because it sounds like he knew some really fascinating things.

Me neither. If someone here in Germany started saying Lisboa or Barcelona I would be thrown off and, very honestly, also find it a tiny bit pretentious.

Edit: throwing in the question how to pronounce towns that are on a border and have both kinds of pronunciations used by inhabitants

As a kid I ate a cabbage leaf off my butt cheek and it was a bit warm and very tasty. Indeed it was so tasty that I didn't notice I was eating foil too.