Try to dial it a hair past "grotesquely miserable", but not to "diabolically desperate." Impossible goalposts amirite? Seriously though, hang in there. (I made a joke in the (regular triage) er once and had to leave because the nurse mistook my dark humor for something apparently serious)
You might have to game the system a little. Generally, make damn sure they can't insinuate that you wish for harm to yourself [or others]. Bad behavioral health servicepeople cannot differentiate between mild ideation vs crisis. Fire them if they suck and ask to see someone else until you find the right one. And yes, you can fire them.
I was in the middle of a dozen spreadsheets when I hit bold and formatted a column as currency, and fuck, I was not ready.
I reset calibri as my default but who knows if it'll even stick, corpo has my desktop locked down so hard 😩
I once lived in a complex where Google had my apartment so wrong I'd have to stick gps coordinates in the delivery instructions.