I'm so sorry you're going through this, even with support coping with a divorce and abuse is an extremely tall order. I've not been through that exactly, but as someone who's been cheated on before, and has been hospitalized for suicidal ideation a couple of times, just know that she doesn't deserve that degree of control over you. You're worth more than that, and suicide isn't a good answer. Pain is not worth your long term happiness, no matter what it tells you. I know it's hard in your darkest moments, but you have to push back.
I'm glad you're in counseling, don't be afraid if you need to get with a psych and get medication to help more, even just short term to get you over the hump. Not saying you need to, I just know some people are reluctant to take meds, but they can help sometimes.
I hope they come around though. You deserve support, and it's shitty that your friends aren't helping. This is a bit rambly, I guess the core message is you're worthwhile, you aren't a bad person, and suicide isn't a good solution.
I was in my early twenties, and having a fight with my husband over dishes. I was sick of always being the one to do them, and demanded he take a turn. He didn't want to, so I simply declared i wasn't going to do dishes again until he did a load.
I held fast. It took two months, but he finally did the dishes, which involved throwing a lot of moldy stuff away. He's much better about helping with dishes now lol
I've been trying to get back into DDR! Great call, that didn't even occur to me when I made this thread lol. I found an arcade near me with a machine, but I've lost so much stamina I die after one set so it's been hard to improve. Mat just arrived though, so hopefully playing at home helps!
Sorry, I totally wasn't trying to be dismissive either, but I think it came across like that. When depression gets bad it's just hard to find anything enjoyable, and sticking with it anyway is real hard. I'll just have to keep at it until something clicks I guess.
If I can reach it it's here, and if I have to point it's there