It's... Not great? Sure it's performant but that's there is going for it, the rest is really not that good for a tablet. They should have made this a gaming laptop and it would've been fine.
Closed source office with telemetry for Linux would be doing more for Linux adoption than anything valve has made in the last 5 years. It's why Microsoft won't do it.
The thought that God will punish bad people so we shouldn't punish them now is how we get where we are. Punish bad people during their life, and not to death.
SNMP does what you want. You just need a good monitoring solution that's not as involved as Prometheus+grafana (I feel you, I've been there)
I really enjoy PRTG, but it's way too expensive for a home lab, still throwing it out there if you feel like you have money to burn.
I hear good word about libreNMS, it's next on my list when my PRTG licence runs out.
Be warned that monitoring is ultimately a fickle thing; what you don't write in yaml config for grafana, you get to dig through obscure SNMP libs to find out (though I find that's easier for me, ymmv) for other tools.
I recommend against: nagios (I like it but if you hate Prometheus it's definitely not for you), checkmk (throw checkmk into the sun please it just fucking sucks), cacti (NO!), solar winds (why?)
if you feel like you want to become a datacenter admin: zabbix scales very very well, both in performance and ease of admin against hundreds of servers, but it's overkill for a home lab, and it can get you lost in configs for hours.
Have you tried internet archive? I don't think it'll help with your specific problem because only LG tools can fix this and I suspect they want to use original URLs even if you can find the file.
Sure, I can't guarantee I'll succeed but I can take a look.
Also: the devs went to work at valve it's not like they can't physically talk to the single most powerful person capable of resolving this if I'm wrong on point #1
Just to confirm, when your phone is connected to your computer with a USB cable and in the download in progress screen, running fastboot devices on the computer shows a message to the tune of no device connected?
If that's the case and the other startup combo actions do nothing, the phone is dead.
When "download is in progress" appears, do you get anything out of fastboot devices? If not, the phone is probably bricked. If so, you should be able to reflash the OS with fastboot commands that should be in the various threads on XDA.
That's constructive dismissal