I dealt with this at work recently with an HP laptop...lots of trial and error. It was honestly a miracle that ssh had been setup before updating but otherwise never would have been able to keep picking at it. Gave up eventually but that sucked.
There are laptops that come with LTE chips... they're just not popular. You're right though, there is the increasing mentality of "always online" that some people just expect to have. I'm not one of them but I can see why the technical argument could be made. Broadband home routers are starting to show up with support for this already and so it's only a matter of time. As another commenter said, it will drive up the price for artificially no reason...
Coming soon to your neck of the woods... Copilot OS! Now with no Windows, only Copilot and a shitty embedded MS Edge. Everything you know as Windows is hidden behind an enforced Microsoft account which you cannot bypass or opt-out! Oh—and don't forget—you now need a PC with 64GB DDR6789 RAM, RBG+ chipset with tiny peener cache, 2 BRAIN TRACING GPUs, SUPER SECURE BOOT, TrustClock, Lie Detector, Bio-metric reader created by NSA, and their secret time bomb tracker that will secretly ghost all your data at a moments notice and require you to purchase the subscription to ALL STAR MEGA SUPER SONIC ULTRA CLOUD DATA WAREHOUSE. Oh, but hey, at least it's software upgradable....
I really like the Style Savvy games on Nintendo. I started late with the one on 3DS but planning to get the Switch one eventually. They're nice and comfy games and since it sounds like you may already have a Nintendo, could be an option.
This is why I don't join fandoms. It's just nicer to like what I like and not have to deal with everybody else's wrong takes.