I’ve got four of those.

Edit: wait, that’s a useful disorganized kitchen drawer. I’ve got two. I should do something about my four junk drawers, and today’s the day, goddammit!

Not much. Didn’t grow up with it, and trying to celebrate it when I’m older without kids or parents is weird. It’s time off work for me and not much more.

Yes! Agency!

I never started. Soon as I left my parents' house, it was just more time for games and reading and adventure.

You know what, that’s entirely fair.

I would recommend switching categories one and two. Sometimes our thoughts are fucked.

Tons of really really good games right in my pocket, that’s what.

I was about to ask what the hell “jarsquatter” is, but then my brain just went

SHIVERS — And he didn’t even make a sound.

So, uh, thanks for reminding me of that, I guess.

But molecularly, not just by the liter, the air you breathe is guaranteed to contain a molecule of Caesar’s last breath from when he was stabbed with every breath we take. There’s way more air than water, so it stands to reason that not only are you drinking water that Hitler has drunk, you’re drinking Hitler’s pee! And Alex Trebek’s pee, I suppose.

I can’t do it. I have to be actively making decisions and having agency in my entertainment. I end up playing video games, or board games.

(The board games I end up playing are usually the sorts of solitaire board games with a huge campaign and a grand sweeping narrative. My favorite board game of all time is Etherfields, for example.)

It’s the default language for international business, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that flips to Mandarin in twenty years, the way things in general are going.

But I’m not gonna lie, I wish I cool read ich_iel and get the humor so bad.

I still have one working hand, and I can walk.

I seem to be pretty good at English, which is definitely a leg up on billions of people.

I’m actively protected, respected, and cared for by my insular community.

I’m skilled with a microphone and can make whole audiences cackle.

These advantages are enough that I needed to be nerfed in some incredibly heinous ways, and yet I still have such an advantage that I’m usually first- or second-ban in the draft.

I’m doing my part by existing in public spaces!

For what school there was. Back then, I was helping out on my dad’s ranch. He had to sell it for medical money recently. Ranch was in the family for 170 years, and bam! lost to the greed of the rich.

The current argument against constant Daylight Time is that kids would have to go to school in the dark.

Aw boo, the damn thing won’t let me load a video of me laughing to this joke, which would be kind of a mediocre chuckle where you could sense a subtle lack of sincerity.

I got in trouble a moment ago and had my comment removed cause I said unsavory things about you.

Quit your sealioning, yeah? I looked down your post history and have a reasonable belief you’re better than this.

Maybe you could help, instead of bemoaning that the one who already worked hard didn’t work hard enough? They’re already flat-out sprinting toward your four-wheel drive goalposts.

I didn’t realize I had to.