spujb @ spujb @lemmy.cafe

Posts

285

Comments

2,967

Joined

2 yr. ago

hi 😳

alright ur a little grumpy today and that’s okay lol. thanks for clarifying your comment even though you said you didn’t want to

ugh but i see your edit now and it fixed things! genuinely i think you were being downvoted because people misread your intent but it’s better now lol? sorry you took so much offense to that i guess

oh you mean use neopronouns instead of they/them specifically in order to appease jeanette in the post?

sorry, i thought you meant using neopronouns in general. you might want to consider editing your comment for fuzzy language if that’s not the case. :)

edit: below comment is in response to a previous version of the above comment before they clarified it was about the lady :)

maybe it’s best to just use neopronouns in the case of someone being difficult asking

ftfy :)

instant subscribe

Your outsider’s perspective is so valuable 😆 thanks for sharing

Also silly because it’s such a small ask, it’s not like she is saying trolls are getting a free pass here, she’s just saying “hey we’re not gonna allow you to be the judge, jury, and executioner in the comments because that kind of diatribe is literally the stuff this community is designed to minimize—we ask you to just disengage completely (or find a workaround) rather than open the floodgates for more of the same discussion and abuse that our users deal with every day. If you suspect real trolling or damage, just report them and our crack team of mods will deal with it in a way that doesn’t involve any misgendering or harassment.”

this comment is going to live somewhere in my head for a while i can already tell

“I’m not a monster Jake” —Chucky

well with that you’re doing better than a good chunk of the internet 😆 i think unless it comes up in conversation, it’s totes fine to revert to they/them especially for short chit-chat

goated analysis

thats the joke . wav ;)

shout OUT to men and women (especially parents) who break the cycle ❤️

is there a definitive list of pronouns?

No. In the same way there’s no defintive list of genders, it would be virtually impossible to catelog every pronoun, or every single name. So it’s important to be careful because you could always come across a new pronoun that hasn’t been written down somewhere yet. But! That doesn’t mean people haven’t tried :) https://pronouns.page/ is a helpful resource that covers multiple languages.

I usually default to “they” unless absolutely told

This is a good strategy :)

once it gets so individualized, things go a bit nuts

This is really sadly only an issue online, where trolls and generally just unkind people do pose a real threat. Always respect people’s requested pronouns, but if you do suspect something shady, @SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone wrote out a handy guide here https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/12169135

how does one handle it while also trying to keep being proud of your identity? Wouldn’t putting neo pronouns in a profile open you up for targeting?

Yes, it often does. :( Being on Blahaj.Zone is a good start to finding respite from the constant harassment, but even here there are problems as the need for this post from Ada shows.

Thank you, Ada. I truly wish it had not come to this, but making this post is one of a very few good choices you could make in such an awfully difficult situation. I respect your vision and commitment for the space you want to create here and I hope it works out for the best.

TIL!! i knew it was a contrived term but i had no clue it was so centered around a single individual in its origins

Sounds like you believe only men can perpetuate the patriarchy, yet this is false. See here for a list of quotes from feminist voices expressing that women, too, perpetuate misogyny: https://lemmy.cafe/comment/9072032

And I’ll end the conversation here since you seem to have nothing better to bring to the table than downvotes. Please feel free to peruse my other recent comments, which all address similar concerns.

Ah you are deeply equivocating two distinct terms. Men, as women, can suffer from mental illness. The patriarchy is a system, not some person or group, and cannot suffer from mental illness. Your misunderstanding of these terms is getting in your way.

I did not label anyone as the enemy? You seem to be drastically misunderstanding this whole thing in that case. Men are victims under patriarchy, too. That is in fact the whole point of this post. The enemy is the patriarchy, a systemic structure.