Soup always makes me feel better. Doesn't have to be anything fancy, just something hot and healthy and tasty. And a piece of bread to mop up afterwards.
I know you jest, but the more you think about it, the nastier a curse it is. For example, your crack would always be itchy. You'd never be able to put your clothes away because mold would devour them. And so on.
I missed out. Damn.