saltnotsugar @ saltnotsugar @lemm.ee

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469

Joined

2 yr. ago

History channel: Could the nazis have turned the pyramids of Giza into unstoppable tanks? Most historians refuse to debate it!

The adventures of Richard and Mortimer.

Me: I need to go to sleep.
Also me: This 3 hour video about islands in the shape of dogs looks interesting.

Totally not for cloning!

Classic Terry

(Cicada bro screeching)
Group of hot ladies: Oh wow. Is he single?

It’s like saying “hit me!” on a 20. You’re gonna lose, but it’s kinda fun.

I mean…if someone set up some kind of website like billionaireKOKshow.gov where people get paid vast amounts of billionaire dick money…it would be weird.

There is a land, known as (ethereal Dune soundtrack plays) the Midwest. A land where these breadsticks are gourmet.

The love making scene in Team America, but it’s just a bunch of breadsticks from Olive Garden.

“I don’t have a sea slug in this drive by.” Conjures images of underwater sea violence and muddies your message.

(Hitler giggling to himself) Big big Chungus, big Chungus, big Chungus!

Dude. One time I accidentally tried to sell them a shellcraft crown and they got so pissed that they sent in the bear cavalry.

Maybe I’m alone in this but I’d love to play different races from the game to make fortresses. Imagine a rat-man empire hell bent on stealing everyone’s cheese.

I know it’s likely pesticides, but have we officially ruled out bee assassins?

So like, we’ll like, put a bomb in like this shell, and like Fidel will see it and like, dive for it….and explode. -CIA Meeting minutes

Be a MAN. Hold onto a DUCK. Fly to DENVER.

Alas thy plan has failed, for my lips are as moist as a frog going down a waterslide in the rainforest.

Please please please let there be a long bacon store.

And then the humans will have showers where they shall sing for us for free! (Evil spider laughter)