On Saturday morning, Johana Bencomo, a Las Cruces city councilor and the mayor pro temp, wrote on Instagram: "Part of me wanted to write that this is something you never really think this is going to happen in your city but that actually feels deeply untrue. Honestly [nowadays] a tragedy like this feels like a nightmare just waiting to come true at any possible moment, yet also always praying and hoping it never will."
Just got back from a trip with my college friends. We're a bit spread out now so it's been awhile since we've all been in the same place. It was really nice, and we're going to try to make it a yearly thing!
That makes sense. I try my best not to have too many expectations for the future because you never know what life is going to throw at you, good or bad, and random chance can have a big impact on how things turn out. Having goals can be helpful, but it's good to be realistic about what's required to achieve those goals and what can potentially get in the way in order to decide if those goals are worth pursuing.
That's wild that someone had such a strong reaction to something you said. But you should really try not to put that on yourself. If you spend time with people who are self assured, they are not going to have that kind of reaction. Yes, it's nice to do our best to try to make the people around us feel at ease, but genuinely trying is the best you can do. If your best isn't good enough for someone, that's when you move on and hopefully find people who are a better fit. I know that's easier said than done since you're dealing with some past trauma around friendships, but I hope you're able to find your people.
It's the fourth anniversary of my dad's death. I think this one's been the easiest so far. There are moments here and there when it really hurts. I feel pretty drained but also weirdly at peace. I drove up to a mountain peak earlier. It was nice to listen to some of his favorite music on the way and feel the cold air on my face when I got there.
Obviously without the full context it's hard to say for certain, but IMO if people are acting in the way you're describing in response to some criticism, that's more an indicator of work they should probably be doing on themselves than anything you did. I'm not saying there aren't times when it would have been helpful to word things differently because maybe there were, but I wouldn't be too quick to put all the blame on yourself.
That seems odd to me that your therapist never asked for examples. If you ever feel like it, I'm sure people here would be happy to give you input if you're wondering how people might generally react to something in particular.
I doubt that you are making people spiral. From what I've experienced and observed in my own life, I think people who are dealing with shit tend to attract other people who are dealing with similar shit. And sometimes, depending on how said people are dealing with their shit, everyone's shit can start colliding and turn into a shit storm. It's not one person's fault, and all any individual can do is work on their own shit and go from there.
I don't know. I'm lucky that I'm a teacher and education hasn't been too fucked over in my state, so I'm in a pretty good position currently. But I want to believe that no matter what happens, my priorities are going to be finding community and looking out for each other and resisting for the sake of resisting. I don't know. I've never wanted kids, so I guess there's something biologically off with me since it don't want to keep my genes going. But something about me wants to keep my ideals going. Not sure if you're trying to find reasons to stay alive, but maybe that could be one.
Question for all of you: My therapist (who I meet with virtually) did not show up for our session today. That is not like her. I emailed her about ten minutes in to confirm that we were on for today with no response and then 30 minutes in to tell her I was logging off and expressed that I hoped everything was okay. I haven't heard back and I'm somewhat concerned about her since this really isn't like her. Would you reach out again or just let it be? I'm trying to decide if I was in her position if I would prefer privacy or people showing they care, and I really don't know.
I appreciate you all.