I'm using one of those hand squeezer bidets and yes, it's great. Ever wiped your ass until it was sore? That's because some little shit pebbles refuse to get out. With a bidet you can shoot those motherfuckers directly out of your rectum.
Defoil: they're just cashing in now because they're afraid too, but with all the money and power they will probably come out on the other side mostly unscathed.
Never tell them what you want. Only be passive aggressively pissed off when they don't do it.