Yeah, that's the same crossroads I'm at. Currently using Proton Pass, and I like it, but it's inherently closed. Security by obscurity is part of their m.o.
Not a Christian, but it was Peter who denied Christ, and Judas betrayed him to the authorities. So in a way, OP is kind of like Judas, if Jesus was a dudebro who liked sleeping with deployed soldiers' wives and felt crucified if you told on him.
Goodpost