mindbleach @ mindbleach @sh.itjust.works

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2 yr. ago

Some new ones:

Lending - the real way to make gold.

Dust - makes everything a little cleaner.

Lust - makes everything a lot dirtier.

Bare - put that back on.

Lightning Lute - lets bards play Dragonforce.

Lightning Lube - lets bards do other things.

Massage - see above.

Child Touch - why don't you have a seat over there.

Fire Colt - impractical to ride, but looks badass.

Fine Bolt - produces some excellent cloth.

Sopping Sting - material component: towel.

Cause Tear - material component: onion.

Thundercrap - makes everything a lot dirtier.

Compelled Duet - the bard ropes you into a musical.

Defect Magic - counterspell, but funnier.

Dog Cloud - oh gods, who fed him cheese?

Inflict Sounds - I cast tinnitus!

Wild Canning - preserves food.

Arr Bubble - everyone in range talks like a pirate.

Zine Of Truth - mimeographed to fight the man!

Animate Lead - it's just a gun.

Speak With Deaf - need your hands free.

Wall of Wafer - ineffective, but delicious.

Egg Whip - stiff peaks!

Heath Ward - man, fuck that guy.

Magic Bar - goes well with Tending.

Glyph of Carding - let's see some ID, "halfling."

Wine Walk - after hitting the Magic Bar.

Soul Cafe - much more relaxing.

Wash - finally, everything is clean.

Produce Blame - shift responsibility onto an adjacent player.

Beacon of Hose - keep any bards in range from doing the deed.

Flesh to Store - morbid way to buy and sell goods, far away from civilization.

Tiny Hat - purely cosmetic, but so worth it.

Mage Sand - sha-sha-sha!

Tree Strife - an off-color joke that will get you cancelled by the ents. Eventually.

Punburst - a barrage televisable jokes which might still get you killed.

Arcane Lick - you're lucky restraining orders haven't been invented yet.

Tire Shield - surprisingly effective.

Fund Steed - they're fucking expensive!

Revilify - shift responsibility onto any past target of Produce Blame.

Fare Storm - lawful neutral highway robbery.

Blank - counterspell for a scroll.

Knick - does minimal damage, but it really hurts!

Mass Peal - deafen nearby enemies with a cacophony of bells.

Bending - it's just Move Earth, but you get to pretend you know karate.

Spore the Dying - cordyceps infection technically is not necromancy.

Cull Lightning - increases rendering efficiency.

Dispel Gold - really pisses off the munchkins.

Wall of Firs - like Wall of Stone, but biodegradable.

Counterspill - put any liquid back into its container. Potions included.

Reflective LCDs would have been equally blurry, in full color, and still tolerated optional tennis-ball-green frontlights for playing under the covers.

The real surprise came a decade later when everybody except Nintendo missed that active TFTs made color a decent option.

Stop putting his toddler babble in the goddamn headline.

Oh god, Ni-Cd. Six hours of charging for fifteen minutes of use.

Color wasn't to blame. It was the cold-cathode backlight.

From 1990 to 2000, AA capacity in watt-hours basically doubled. Which did mean anything you had could have modern batteries, since you'd just... buy new batteries.

This is mostly how the DMG Game Boy needed 4 AAs and the Game Boy Pocket got away with 2 AAAs.

I fondly remember having 8 GB of storage, because I could back up my hard drive on like two dollars worth of CD-Rs.

I feared no virus. Reinstalling XP was a monthly affair regardless.

Technically the first game you got was Mystic Quest, the half-parody FF For Dummies game. Except it was titled Mystic Quest Legend. Because Square already used Mystic Quest for Seiken Densetsu on Game Boy - released in the US as Final Fantasy Adventure. But it's not a Final Fantasy game; it's fucking Sword Of Mana. PAL regions did get Secret Of Mana by name, and later Legend Of Mana on PSX... not to be confused with The Final Fantasy Legend on Game Boy, which is actually SaGa.

Ten square pounds, obviously.

See also the client camera movement guide:

GNU Autotools: yes.

Still not Apple's call to make.

It's not their platform. It's your phone. That's what the money was for.

Remember me, Eddie?!

If you push a button it sings Bobby McFerrin.

And anyone else, because nobody's fucking stopping him.

Twenty-story highrises? Yeah, I get it. 'Welcome to living in the shadow of a monolith! No sky for you.' Perfectly reasonable for people to say, 'can you not.'

If they were objecting to four-over-ones, nah, fuck 'em.

'Oh, did you expect sunlight in the house you could afford? Should've bought ten million in additional property!'

Be serious.

(say hello)

Arise, Chicken.

Again.

Illegally.