Remember to tip your boss this new years eve
krellor @ krellor @kbin.social Posts 0Comments 253Joined 2 yr. ago
krellor @ krellor @kbin.social
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Look, it's me, your boss. Venmo: @NotZoidberg.
I was unfamiliar with misophonia so I went looking into it. I know it is a poorly studied issue, but I wasn't able to find any peer reviewed research where children's noises in general were used or reported as a trigger. I found lots of discussion forums, but that is anecdotal.
The reason I went digging is because the op describes all children's noises, happy, sad, whatever, whereas what I read in the literature was very specific noises were reported as triggers. E.g, lip smacking, chewing, pen clicking, etc. In one study, they even used videos of children and dogs playing to help participants calm down and establish a baseline. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0227118
While I'm admittedly ignorant, it seems OP may have a more general aversion to children than I would expect of misophonia given what I've read from medical sources.
I only mention this as a counter suggestion to help op avoid self diagnosing and maybe going down the wrong track.
I think counseling is warranted to help sort it out.
I would echo the recommendation for counseling. However, is this a larger issue or unique to children? Do you find yourself getting disproportionately angry at other sources of annoyances? Answering that question might help you know whether there is a larger need to address.
In that case, never mix business and family. 😂
I understand. I was a software developer and engineer for twenty years, complete with quad display and everything. I, painfully, switched to laptop only even before COVID so that I could be productive while traveling. But I kept a dock on my office. When I needed more resources than my laptop had, I started using servers in AWS. I understand wanting the benefit of the extra displays, but I decided that my personal boundary was not giving up the space in my home. So when COVID hit I permanently went to single monitor.
I know not everyone can or wants to do that. But if you are struggling with work home separation with remote work, I suggest trying it on case it helps. Your happiness is worth the x% efficiency hit, unless that is the margin that will get you fired.
Lol, yep. Twenty years give or take testing just about everything along the way. 😂
Many of those social clubs had membership fees, and I suspect people today who can afford those fees likely are still going out. I think part of the challenge is a certain large percentage of the population, say 40%, has been edged out of the economic ability over the last 40 years to consistently spend money of those social opportunities.
But yes, the lack of free or affordable third places is a huge generational challenge and disadvantage in so many ways.
Social skills are a skill like anything else, and building up the mental stamina to engage other people like a muscle. I know many people who just lost all of that practice and stamina during COVID, and it wasn't a good change for them. I kept up lots of digital contact, like moving weekly pub night with friends to zoom and playing Jack box games, and that helped a lot with keeping those skills.
If you want to start being more social, I would recommend finding little regular ways to rebuild those skills and stamina. Online bookclubs with a monthly web conference can be a good way to start. But if you're happy, best of luck either way! Merry Christmas!
I know it's tough when you can't separate work and home. I don't know what your setup is, but I only use the work laptop and not the monitor and dock they sent so I don't have to give permanent space to work stuff. When work is done the laptop closes and gets put in the work backpack next to my desk.
Likewise, I commute to my home work by going on a 15 minute walk around the neighborhood before and after so I get some time separation. Giving myself time after work especially to mentally come home was important.
Best of luck figuring out the right balance!
I've lived on East and West Coast in the US, visited most states and the places you mention in Canada, and I just moved from Washington to Maryland.
Realize that everything you listed as a preference is the same for millions of people. Lots of people like paddle boarding, nature, and the cities you are looking at, so those places are going to be expensive. Without knowing more about your acute needs to move I can only give general advice.
First, don't move without a job lined up or at least a plan in place. Look at college towns including in more states than you listed. They are more liberal on average, and have a baked in supply of people looking for roommates. Even older grad students are looking for roommates and are often quiet.
After that, look for things to minimize costs like public transit. You say south of Maryland, but that covers a whole lot including places with pretty bad public transit.
When you do move make sure you have any vehicle titles or purchase documents as you will need them to get new titles and registration. Update your insurance policy with your new address. Make sure you have your birth certificate, social security cards, and photo id so you can get a place to live and get your new state id. Make sure you know what it costs to do all of that (likely hundreds on the title, registration, new id). Even more if you don't have one of the necessary documents and you have to pay a notary to send a form to get a new title mailed to you.
Look at room mate apps or sites to potentially vet a low cost place you can move into more quickly than getting your own place and going through the credit checks and down payments for a lease.
And look at your credit to make sure you don't move just to find that you won't clear the checks they will perform.
Open a bank account at a bank or credit union with branches where you are moving to, or at least part of a no-fee ATM network. E.g., I can get cash from my credit union account without any fees from 7-11 and they are everywhere.
Make sure you have a few blank checks on your wallet for oddball expenses or deposits that don't take cards or have fees to do so. Have a little cash as well.
Once you have a job planned, costs figured out, make a spreadsheet. MAKE A SPREADSHEET! You do not want to move across the country to find that you didn't factor state income tax or vehicle registration costs and suddenly can't make rent. Include all likely costs and see if your budget has some wiggle for miscalculations and other issues.
Make a spreadsheet of all the tasks you need to do. Keep track of them because the details of moving will screw you hard if you don't mind them.
The more money you have while moving, the better you can solve problems. Hard truth for life in general.
If the above sounds overwhelming, then you need to plan all the more carefully.
Make sure you don't make unrealistic assumptions about the culture of where you are moving and get taken advantage of our targeted for violence. Even in the most liberal places there are places and people unfriendly to LGBTQ people. Don't be a victim.
Best of luck and happy to answer questions about specific cities, I've been to many.
I have to admit I used FreeBSD as my daily driver years ago. But I've also used everything else in the list at one point or another.
I use a terminal whenever I'm doing work that I want to automate, is the only way to do something such as certain parameters being cli only, or when using a GUI would require additional software I don't otherwise want.
I play games and generally do rec time in a GUI, but I do all my git and docker work from the cli.
Right. Which gets us full circle, to never give investment advice, lol. That being said, at some point someone may sincerely look too you for guidance and you need to make a call as to whether you want to take that risk, what advice you give, and are you sure it is good advice.
I used to mentor student employees years ago, and when they wanted advice I always told them to max out workplace matches first, and then after that if they can save more, put it in tax advantaged savings programs that let you buy into indexed funds and never sell. In those cases you usually can't even sell unless certain conditions are met and you sign disclosures, unlike most brokerages. Now, students you are giving them advice for the rest of there life and they likely don't have $40k to panic sell/buy/sell to zero.
Honestly in my other comment I said never give investing advice, but as far as it goes, recommending investment in indexed funds is probably there exception with the caveat that it is a multi-year investment and there are dips.
That's a great generalization! Don't give lay people knowledge they can use to harm themselves, and recognize when you are the lay person.
Yes, times a thousand. But I would go even further.
Never give investment advice. You might explain what investments you have made and why you made them, but never give advice and never urge or prompt someone to invest. You should also end every conversation with "but that's not advice and I'm not an expert." It is too easy for either the investment to not work out, or for them to do it wrong (wrong timing, panic sale, misunderstood the options, etc).
The last thing you want on your conscience is someone investing a life changing amount of money just for it to go down in flames. I might invest $1000 in something that I think might pay off, tell someone they should invest, and next thing you know they drop in $40k and panic sell on a dip in two weeks, when I was planning to hold for five years. You never know.
Yup.
We do lots of things as a society because we've always done them that way, or it's good enough, and not enough reason to go through the effort of changing everything including legal language, etc.
Happily, in this case I think ABV is about the best way we could have inherited, maybe only second to alcohol by weight in terms of consistency across temperature.
In the US, and I suspect other countries, the agency that regulates alcohol is different than the one that regulates food. In the US alcohol is regulated by the ATF and food by the FDA. Since it is the FDA rules that require nutritional labels and ingredients and not the ATF, most brands don't list much.
Additionally, alcohol recipes are often considered trade secrets and closely held which might be why rules haven't been introduced in many places.
Here is an article that talks a little more about different breweries and if they keep their ingredients secret or not.
Like I said, because the percent doesn't change with the volume served. If you are an 1800s brewer you can calculate the ABV from samples, and subsequently sell kegs of various sizes, bottles, which in turn can be served in various amounts and the percent doesn't change. And the industry never changed, nor the laws written. So it's the way it is because that is how they used to do it and how laws were written and there hadn't been a motivation for people to change that.
Edit: whoooosh, goes the joke over my head.😂
On Futurama one of the popular phrases from the character zoidberg was something like "hey, look it's me your nephew" when he thought his uncle was rich. Don't recall the details, but just riffed on the meme.